I'm surprised the Secret Service didn't notice the shooter up on that roof, what with all his yelling about "my precious" and how the "hobbitsies" having taken his ring

I don’t think he read it correctly!

Gondor didn’t fund the goblin home country while the goblins facilitated mass Southron immigration and degraded the fabric of Gondorian culture and society!

“War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend: the city of the Men of Númenor, and I would have her loved for her memory, her ancientry, her beauty, and her present wisdom. Not feared, save as men may fear the dignity of a man, old and wise.” - The Two Towers

Sorry, what’s that yer after? Fedposts? Got a whole cask, right here, Longbottom’s finest!