Straight up not having a good time today. Gonna try to funnel my emotions into fixing this mofo.

I checked the Command Module separately with the AT supply again. It's dead, Jim. Maybe independently of the PSU and the PSU was iffy all along. Which I did not notice because the squeaky sounds it makes were muffled by the fan noise. And the faulty 24V line is used only for the fans and I never checked it.

Gonna focus on the PSU first, since I got it apart.

Here's the 24V output.

I am officially ADHD+.

It took only ten or so years after the Asperger's diagnosis to figure that one out and get it in writing. Geez.

You may already know that I've been hacking my own biology.

One thing I'm really not happy with is the sex hormones my body expresses on its own. It messed up my life. Since August '24 I've been on HRT. I used Cyproteronacetat to supress the production of testosterone. CPA is the go to T-blocker in my country. However, this stuff comes with a lot of risks and side effects. It affected my mental health after a few months, so I had to stop the blocker and find an alternative solution. I finally managed to get my health insurance to pay for GnRHa therapy. Had my first injection last week.

Here's the injection needle. It's a depot that lasts for a month.

CW Huge fucking needle

I kept this first one as a trophy.

Here's how it works:

GnRH (Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone) is a control hormone at the top of the hormonal cascade for sex hormones. It's a peptide hormone produced by the hypothalamus and released in pulses. In response to it the pituitary gland just below the brain releases the Luteinizing Hormone (LH) and the Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH), also known as gonadotropins. Those two act on the gonads, prompting the production of sex steroids. Testosterone if you have testes, estrogen and progesterone if you have ovaries. This whole system is a feedback loop, that relies on the periodic release of GnRH. If you overload it with substances similar enough to GnRH, so called GnRH agonists like the one above, to introduce a constant level of GnRH, the pituitary gland becomes desensitized to GnRH and stops producing LH and FSH. And in turn, the sex steroid production stops. The only thing left to do is to introduce the opposite sex hormone to your body then.
The whole thing is reversible, once you stop taking the drug, the hormonal axis restarts. The changes the opposite sex hormone does to your body are not. But who would want that?

GnRH agonists are the best way to achieve suppression of sex hormone production with no side effects, if you take the other sex hormone. The only problem is, this stuff costs about 150€/month. So naturally, health insurances are reluctant to cover it. In my country, they try to poison you with Cyproteronacetat instead because it's so damn cheap. CPA was developed as a cancer medication. It's a progestin and hence messes with your mental health, it fucks up your B12 intake, and it carries a proven risk of brain tumors that scales with life time dosage. So you want to take as little of it as you possibly can, for as short as possible. It's banned in the US, and not prescribed as trans* HRT in many other European countries anymore because of this. Mine is a little behind the times.

The other options are Spironolacton, which is a diuretic (it makes you piss a lot). The T-suppressing effects are weak at best. And Bicalutamid, which blocks the T-receptors instead. So it's hard to measure the effect and control the dosage. Scientific data on its effectiveness and risks are very limited. There have been cases of terminal liver damage.


It took me around half a year to get GnRHa covered. Absolutely worth it.