Whoa

Idk I'm not looking forward to bottoming tomorrow where was all this attention like 3 years ago when I had days where I would be so turned on all day, like cartoonishly breathing steam levels now currently I just find it gross? But like not gross but like idk I'm not turned on as much as I would like to be and I'm kinda dreading putting up the act of being a normal person who has basic executive functioning

My room has clothes that I wore 6 months ago that I still haven't washed, there's stuff all over the place

And then the anxiety too that's there for some reason as well but it's the type where your chill deep down because you know there is no threat but there's part of you that is super stressed

What happened to the early 2020s when my lexapro helped me stop caring about everything

Still kinda stumbling "drunkenly" around functioning whatsoever like on the surface it's like "oh look he does cool stuff" yeah but like I haven't done any laundry in months beside the same 3 shorts and shirt why does my thought process feel so dim and goopy why can't I hold a routine for more than like 3 weeks

Idk why I sit in the shower as like a coping mechanism it's very wasteful

I have potential being wasted

I must be put in the mines.

It really do feel like that huh