“Now everything I’d achieved in my first twenty-one years of life—connections I’d forged, status I’d earned, talent I’d nurtured, possessions I’d acquired, and traits I’d developed—were at the mercy of a death wish that negated it all.”

— from ‘Notes of a Crocodile’ by Qiu Miaojin

22.

ثبات روحی و روانی تنها چیزیه که می‌خوام

Why are my menstrual cramps so excruciatingly painful that it feels like someone is stabbing me and I scream bloody murder?

Forget the bad moments
You have a whole new year to feel things and LIVE

Where should I start? When did it all go wrong? A year ago? Or earlier than that? It’s safe here. It’s okay. Since I’m average. I had always believed I was average. But now, I have no place here. Dad, I am now like a building that was built the wrong way. At a pace known only to me, everything is collapsing very slowly. One day, the wind may blow unexpectedly. Or it may rain. Or snow. And in the spot that may collapse first, is me, standing there.

Lost (human disqualification) (2021)

A lifetime is not enough for music