Where should I start? When did it all go wrong? A year ago? Or earlier than that? It’s safe here. It’s okay. Since I’m average. I had always believed I was average. But now, I have no place here. Dad, I am now like a building that was built the wrong way. At a pace known only to me, everything is collapsing very slowly. One day, the wind may blow unexpectedly. Or it may rain. Or snow. And in the spot that may collapse first, is me, standing there.
Lost (human disqualification) (2021)
Lost (human disqualification) (2021)
Honey pie
Note to self 7 I know it's tough, but you've been through worse, so stay and keep your head up.
Note to Self 8
Whatever comes, let it come. Whatever stays, let it stay. Whatever leaves, let it leave.
Whatever comes, let it come. Whatever stays, let it stay. Whatever leaves, let it leave.
when ocean vuong said "this mess i made i made with love" and raymond carver said "would i live my life over again? make the same unforgivable mistakes? yes, given half the chance. yes" and you realize that the imperfection is what makes your life what it is. iain reid said "everything's both ethereal and clunky" and virginia woolf said "the beauty of the world which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder" and it is really a blessing to live on the light and the dark and have everything meet in the middle. and sometimes it's night and it's raining so hard and it's getting worse and worse and you wonder if it's really worth it to stay. but then in the morning the sun rises and there's a rainbow and it's so quiet. and the sky lives for no one but itself and the birds are singing and you are experiencing something so lovely and mary oliver was right to say "it is a serious thing to just be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world" and you are learning how to live.
“The other day, lying in bed, I felt my heart beating for the first time in a long while. I realized how little I live in my body, how much in my mind”