I used to think if I died in an evil place, then my soul wouldn't be able to make it to heaven. But now, fuck. I don't care where it goes as long it ain't here.

APOCALYPSE NOW (1979) dir. Francis Ford Coppola

Kharkiv, 1993. By Josef Koudelka

a new week - the same torture

“There is absolutely no eternal necessity which decrees that every guilt will be atoned and paid for, just as it is a delusion that everything is guilt. It is not things, but opinions about things that have absolutely no existence, which have deranged mankind!”

—Daybreak, §563 (edited).

“Three-quarters of all the evil done in the world happens out of timidity, and this is above all a physiological phenomenon!”

—Daybreak, §538 (excerpt).

Lungs that require night air

Illustration by Noriyoshi Ohrai

She quoted a dead playwright and called me a bullet with nothing but a future. She understood my lack of self-pity. She knew why I despised everything that might restrict my forward momentum. She knew that bullets have no conscience. They speed past things and miss their marks as often as they hit them.

- James Ellroy, My Dark Places