I should get a kiddie pool a bit larger than me, throw a heating element in it, and then use it for my bed so I can sleep in a hot tub

I'm stone cold so this changes nothing

New idea for scalper punishment: convicted scalpers will be suspended by rope tied to their limbs, and then each major section of hair on their body scalped. People then bid on the scalped part, and if the bid exceeds 10x the last listed item price, the scalper goes free (but has to pay for medical attention themselves)

If all major sections of hair get removed they also go free, now as a bloody hairless freak

This is what I look like at the gym

The vodka infused coffee I made doesn't even taste alcoholic with some simple syrup and creamer. Just tastes like the coffee you'd get at a YMCA

Speaking of, that was a foundational memory. My dad would take my brother and I to swim team and he'd run on the treadmill. Afterwards, we'd have some time to fuck around and hang out, and we'd go and get coffee & spike it with sugar and creamer to feel like adults. Then our dad would come and get us and we'd drive home in a car that took 30 minutes to heat up

I'm cloud 9 drunk but still have to do things tonight so I need to stay up to sober up enough that I can do things