"To deliver gifts to every child, Santa must travel incredibly fast, roughly 4.7 to 5.4 million kilometers per hour (3 million mph), which is about 0.5% the speed of light, requiring him to visit ~1,900 houses per second, but using time zones and relativity allows for magical solutions, like stopping time or using multiple sleighs, otherwise, air resistance would vaporize him."

> travels 0.5% speed of light
> no fancy tech, just reindeer
> defies laws of physics
> visits 1900 homes per second
> no one knows how it's possible
> isn't instantly vaporized

I pity these people. Some self deprecation is fine, potential funny even, but too often do they overdo it

You must start delusionmaxxing right now

For example:

2026 will now be my year out of pure spite

Be sure to sleep tight tonight or else Santa won’t come