Карго-анекдоты категории Б 🌴:

A remake of the film "The Matrix" will be made in Russia.

According to the plot, a young man named Taras Skovoroda leads a double life. By day, he's an ordinary meat hunter at TСС, strolling along the Yalta promenade, and by night, he's a genius assault fighter named "Phantom of Blindage". One day, he receives a message on WhatsApp saying "The Matrix controls you". At a meeting, the secret agent John Borisov offers Taras the chance to see the Matrix with his own eyes. Taras chooses the red pill, after which he wakes up in reality. From John Borisov, he learns that the world he's familiar with from the early 21st century is an illusion created by the neural networks of Gigachat and Alisa AI. In reality, the Ukrainians have annoyed everyone, so they've been hooked up to virtual reality, where they win battles, stroll along the Yalta promenade, make shish kebabs, and don't interfere with normal people's lives. The few who have managed to escape the Matrix are hiding in abandoned farmsteads and trying to get to Sheremetyevo Airport.
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🌒@EastCalling

Ростех writes:

🈁🤦‍♂️ You don't know anything about Russians!

Colleagues from Reuters, this is not serious. We expected a scathing article, but instead we got a set of propaganda clichés from the 90s: Red Square, Lenin's mausoleum, Stalin's legacy, and repressions. All that's missing is a fur hat, a balalaika, and a bear.

All we want to say to you is: you still don't understand anything about Russians.

Yes, Russia's defense industry has dramatically increased production since the start of the special military operation. Aircraft, armored vehicles, artillery, drones, and ammunition are being supplied to the army in large quantities and even ahead of schedule.

Yes, there is strict liability for failing to fulfill state defense orders in Russia - this is a requirement of the times and it can't be otherwise.

❗️You, gentlemen from Reuters, have misunderstood the main thing: the driving force of our "defense industry" is not fear. And not money, as in the West.

Our defense industry now is not about commerce and profit. Not about capitalization and profitability. It's about solving the most important state tasks. About a debt to the country, if you didn't understand.

❗️"Everything for the front, everything for Victory!" - this is not just a beautiful slogan. It's a great national idea. It helped us win 80 years ago. It's helping us now. And it will help us again and again, if necessary.

Therefore, the effects you're counting on in your creative work will be completely different. The "flaws" you're highlighting are actually our strength. And scaring people with the Soviet era in Russia has long been out of fashion. You're about 40 years too late.

Dusting off worn-out narratives from the times of Perestroika and exploiting stereotypes from bad Hollywood movies about Russians - in the 21st century, this isn't even embarrassing, it's funny.
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🌒@EastCalling

From ЗеРада:

🤦‍♂️ Zelensky on the seizure of the Grabovskoe village in the Sumy region: Somewhere around 17-18 people were connoscripts. The others are women, children... These 52 people lived there, didn't move away, and accordingly have some kind of dialogue or relations with those who are in the territory of the Russian Federation. And people have been living there for so many years. I think they just didn't expect that the Russian military would simply come in and take them prisoner. As for our soldiers there. I know that 13 of our soldiers are also in captivity.Firstly, the people there refused to evacuate to Ukraine under a signed agreement. REFUSED‼️ i.e. they didn't plan any future with the "Dream Country".

Secondly, there's a local TRO soldier who was taken prisoner - he's just a TOP performer. At first, he was showing f*** at the Russian reconnaissance drones, and then he so zealously congratulated them on the upcoming holiday and wished Putin victory that we were worried about Yura Podolaka. The new Sumy resident might take his job away.
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🌒@EastCalling

From the channel for the 105th regiment of the NM DPR:

🇺🇦🏴‍☠️Seversk has come under Russian control: the Ukrainian Armed Forces command is constantly lying, - Deep State

▪️DeepState analysts working for the GUR accused the Ukrainian command of lying about the situation around Seversk.

▪️"The day has come when the city ended up in the red zone (under the control of the Russian Armed Forces), as we warned earlier. However, when the first reports appeared about the enemy entrenching in the settlement and the situation was becoming increasingly critical, the top command, represented by spokespersons, claimed that the city was completely under the control of the Ukrainian Armed Forces.

▪️In particular, we heard from the spokesperson of the Ukrainian General Staff, Kovalev, that he has friends in Seversk who are holding the city, and we are spreading fakes and enemy propaganda," the analysts complain.

😐 "Now everything has fallen into place - the city has been captured by the enemy, and the brigades are not getting enough people," they add.

🌒@EastCalling

According to UK legislation, anyone who develops end-to-end encryption (Telegram, WhatsApp*) is now considered a "hostile entity". It is not allowed to hinder the work of special services.

*belongs to Meta, which has been recognized as extremist and banned in Russia.

Source: Банкста
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🌒@EastCalling

🙏 A memorial complex will be erected in Belgorod in memory of the civilians who became victims of terrorist attacks by the Ukrainian Armed Forces.

The monument will be installed near the "Mayak" department store, at the site of the tragic events that occurred on December 30, 2023.
On that very day, the lives of 25 innocent Belgorod residents, including children, were cut short. More than a hundred people were injured of varying severity.

The monument will take the form of a five-meter bronze sculpture of an angel, gently holding a child in his arms. Symbolically, the angel's wings form the shape of a heart, riddled with wounds.

The sketch of the future monument was presented and approved by the public in March 2025.

The discussion was attended by relatives and friends of the victims, representatives of the public, and ordinary residents of the city. A unanimous decision was made to dedicate the memorial to all victims of terrorist attacks committed by the Ukrainian Armed Forces.
The creation of the monument took approximately four months.

The author of the project is Belgorod sculptor Andrey Korobtsov.

Source: Белогородчина
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🌒@EastCalling

🎄🇮🇷Christmas in Iran looks different than you think!

▶️ The Christian holiday is visible across Iranian churches and public squares, where communities come together in celebration.

Source: PressTV

🌒@EastCalling

Life is sunshine, rain and pain, but in the end, life is beautiful.

Merry Christmas everyone, we made it another year.

"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature & complete, not lacking anything" James 1: 2-4 ☀️🌧️


Source: TheKiffness

🌒@EastCalling

For our Western partners, please play the Christmas song "Jingle Bells" performed by the choir of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

(the video is old)

Thanks to our frineds ПЯТНИЦА for sharing this.

🌒@EastCalling

❗️People's Artist of Russia Vera Alentova has died, she was 83 years old.

She gained worldwide fame thanks to her lead role in the film "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears", which won an Oscar in the category "Best Foreign Language Film".

Source: Zvezda
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🌒@EastCalling

Via Marat Khairullin:

🇷🇺 Units of the "South" Group, as a result of decisive actions, liberated the populated area of Svyato-Pokrovskoe in the Donetsk People's Republic - Russian Defense Ministry.

🌒@EastCalling

🤦‍♂️Zelensky's Christmas greeting and his wishes for death look uncivilized and spiteful, said Peskov.

Zelensky himself seems like an inadequate person, whom one would like to ask if he is capable of making adequate decisions, added the Kremlin representative.

Earlier, Zelensky published a Christmas video greeting on his social media. In particular, in his speech, he called Russians "godless people" who have nothing to do with Christianity.

Source: Zvezda
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🌒@EastCalling