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CHAPTER XXV. On Modesty in Dress.
S. PAUL expresses his desire that all Christian women should wear “modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety;” 125 —and for that matter he certainly meant that men should do so likewise. Now, modesty in dress and its appurtenances depends upon the quality, the fashion and the cleanliness thereof.
-As to cleanliness, that should be uniform, and we should never, if possible, let any part of our dress be soiled or stained. External seemliness is a sort of indication of inward good order, and God requires those who minister at His Altar, or minister in holy things, to be attentive in respect of personal cleanliness.
-As to the quality and fashion of clothes, modesty in these points must depend upon various circumstances, age, season, condition, the society we move in, and the special occasion. Most people dress better on a high festival than at other times; in Lent, or other penitential seasons, they lay aside all gay apparel; at a wedding they wear wedding garments, at a funeral, mourning garb; and at a king’s court the dress which would be unsuitable at home is suitable.
A wife may and should adorn herself according to her husband’s wishes when he is present;—if she does as much in his absence one is disposed to ask in whose eyes she seeks to shine? We may grant somewhat greater latitude to maidens, who may lawfully desire to attract many, although only with the view of ultimately winning one in holy matrimony. Neither do I blame such widows as purpose to marry again for adorning themselves, provided they keep within such limits as are seemly for those who are at the head of a family, and who have gone through the sobering sorrows of widowhood. But for those who are widows indeed, in heart as well as outwardly, humility, modesty and devotion are the only suitable ornaments. If they seek to attract men’s admiration they are not widows indeed, and if they have no such intention, why should they wear its tokens? Those who do not mean to entertain guests should take down their signboard. So, again, every one laughs at old women who affect youthful graces,—such things are only tolerable in the young.
Always be neat, do not ever permit any disorder or untidiness about you. There is a certain disrespect to those with whom you mix in slovenly dress; but at the same time avoid all vanity peculiarity, and fancifulness. As far as may be, keep to what is simple and unpretending—such dress is the best adornment of beauty and the best excuse for ugliness. S. Peter bids women not to be over particular in dressing their hair. Every one despises a man as effeminate who lowers himself by such things, and we count a vain woman as wanting in modesty, or at all events what she has becomes smothered among her trinkets and furbelows. They say that they mean no harm, but I should reply that the devil will contrive to get some harm out of it all.
For my own part I should like my devout man or woman to be the best dressed person in the company, but the least fine or splendid, and adorned, as S. Peter says, with “the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.” S. Louis said that the right thing is for every one to dress according to his position, so that good and sensible people should not be able to say they are over-dressed, or younger gayer ones that they are under-dressed. But if these last are not satisfied with what is modest and seemly, they must be content with the approbation of the elders.
S. PAUL expresses his desire that all Christian women should wear “modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety;” 125 —and for that matter he certainly meant that men should do so likewise. Now, modesty in dress and its appurtenances depends upon the quality, the fashion and the cleanliness thereof.
-As to cleanliness, that should be uniform, and we should never, if possible, let any part of our dress be soiled or stained. External seemliness is a sort of indication of inward good order, and God requires those who minister at His Altar, or minister in holy things, to be attentive in respect of personal cleanliness.
-As to the quality and fashion of clothes, modesty in these points must depend upon various circumstances, age, season, condition, the society we move in, and the special occasion. Most people dress better on a high festival than at other times; in Lent, or other penitential seasons, they lay aside all gay apparel; at a wedding they wear wedding garments, at a funeral, mourning garb; and at a king’s court the dress which would be unsuitable at home is suitable.
A wife may and should adorn herself according to her husband’s wishes when he is present;—if she does as much in his absence one is disposed to ask in whose eyes she seeks to shine? We may grant somewhat greater latitude to maidens, who may lawfully desire to attract many, although only with the view of ultimately winning one in holy matrimony. Neither do I blame such widows as purpose to marry again for adorning themselves, provided they keep within such limits as are seemly for those who are at the head of a family, and who have gone through the sobering sorrows of widowhood. But for those who are widows indeed, in heart as well as outwardly, humility, modesty and devotion are the only suitable ornaments. If they seek to attract men’s admiration they are not widows indeed, and if they have no such intention, why should they wear its tokens? Those who do not mean to entertain guests should take down their signboard. So, again, every one laughs at old women who affect youthful graces,—such things are only tolerable in the young.
Always be neat, do not ever permit any disorder or untidiness about you. There is a certain disrespect to those with whom you mix in slovenly dress; but at the same time avoid all vanity peculiarity, and fancifulness. As far as may be, keep to what is simple and unpretending—such dress is the best adornment of beauty and the best excuse for ugliness. S. Peter bids women not to be over particular in dressing their hair. Every one despises a man as effeminate who lowers himself by such things, and we count a vain woman as wanting in modesty, or at all events what she has becomes smothered among her trinkets and furbelows. They say that they mean no harm, but I should reply that the devil will contrive to get some harm out of it all.
For my own part I should like my devout man or woman to be the best dressed person in the company, but the least fine or splendid, and adorned, as S. Peter says, with “the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.” S. Louis said that the right thing is for every one to dress according to his position, so that good and sensible people should not be able to say they are over-dressed, or younger gayer ones that they are under-dressed. But if these last are not satisfied with what is modest and seemly, they must be content with the approbation of the elders.
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Family Matters
CHAPTER XXV. On Modesty in Dress. S. PAUL expresses his desire that all Christian women should wear “modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety;” 125 —and for that matter he certainly meant that men should do so likewise. Now, modesty in dress and its…
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CHASTITY AND MARRIAGE
"The original sin did not wound the man and the woman in the same way (...) it wounded them in a dissymmetrical way, (...) "The man wants a house to have a woman and the woman wants to have a man to have a house" (...) Both want the same things but in different ways (...) they will be affected by the same concupiscences and will incur in the same capital vices, but in different ways. Both suffer from gluttony, but the gluttony of the male is closer to animal voracity, while the gluttony of the female is more refined, inclined to treats, sweets and delicacies. Both will suffer from lust, but the male will regress toward animal instinct and physical possessiveness, while the female will tend toward affective possession and spiritual domination of the male's soul.
Both suffer from anger, but the male tends to manifest and vent his anger in bodily, physical form. We could call his anger hot anger; (...) the woman tends to vent (...) rather verbally, by means of hurtful words, offenses, slander and malediction: hurting with the tongue or indirectly and cunningly harming. His anger, although tremendous, can be described as cold anger.
(...) the male tends to return to the instinctive and to the appetites of the body. In him the animal pole tends to predominate and to become dehumanized (...) sometimes he is a real "pig" (...) we see how the male tends to eat and drink in excess, even if it hurts him (...) he becomes lustful, he is incapable of dying to his sexual passion for love of his wife when in reality (...) he would make her happy.
The woman, on the other hand, tends to become unbalanced by (...) the appetites of the soul or the concupiscence of the eyes. (...) she tends (...) to "usurp the divine" (...) she is inclined to the unlawful exercise of divinity, and to the usurpation of divine providence. And not for evil, she wants good but she wants to do it in her own way. And she wants to be the one who says what is good and what is bad (...) by this way of her own good intentions, is where the woman becomes dominant (...) and sometimes she uses the passional weakness of the man to manipulate him.
That is why it has been said that the dominant sin of the male is lust and the dominant sin of the female is greed, ambition. Because of this dissymmetry of the wounds of original sin, instead of seeking the good of the other, each one tries to take advantage of the weakness of the other. And in any case, since it is not understood that it is a wound, worthy of mercy, each one ends up being irritated by the wound of the other. The woman is irritated by the physical possessiveness of the man and the man by the affective possessiveness of the woman.
The sacrament of marriage has been instituted as a sacrament of healing of the wounds of original sin in the man and the woman. And the spouses are to be, one for the other, ministers of that healing. Therefore, the wife must collaborate to heal in the husband the wound of lust, and the husband must collaborate to heal in the wife the wound of insatiable affection, the exorbitant desires of the soul and the related terrors. The healing effects of the sacrament are respectively: chastity and obedience. Mortification of the instincts in the male and of the desires of self-will in the female.
That is why a sacrament of healing was needed. So that man and woman, wounded as they were from birth by original sin, and condemned to misunderstanding and perpetual misunderstanding, could be healed and live the conjugal happiness to which God the Father had destined them "in the beginning". History proves that this is not utopia."
"The House on a Rock" - Horacio Bojorge
"The original sin did not wound the man and the woman in the same way (...) it wounded them in a dissymmetrical way, (...) "The man wants a house to have a woman and the woman wants to have a man to have a house" (...) Both want the same things but in different ways (...) they will be affected by the same concupiscences and will incur in the same capital vices, but in different ways. Both suffer from gluttony, but the gluttony of the male is closer to animal voracity, while the gluttony of the female is more refined, inclined to treats, sweets and delicacies. Both will suffer from lust, but the male will regress toward animal instinct and physical possessiveness, while the female will tend toward affective possession and spiritual domination of the male's soul.
Both suffer from anger, but the male tends to manifest and vent his anger in bodily, physical form. We could call his anger hot anger; (...) the woman tends to vent (...) rather verbally, by means of hurtful words, offenses, slander and malediction: hurting with the tongue or indirectly and cunningly harming. His anger, although tremendous, can be described as cold anger.
(...) the male tends to return to the instinctive and to the appetites of the body. In him the animal pole tends to predominate and to become dehumanized (...) sometimes he is a real "pig" (...) we see how the male tends to eat and drink in excess, even if it hurts him (...) he becomes lustful, he is incapable of dying to his sexual passion for love of his wife when in reality (...) he would make her happy.
The woman, on the other hand, tends to become unbalanced by (...) the appetites of the soul or the concupiscence of the eyes. (...) she tends (...) to "usurp the divine" (...) she is inclined to the unlawful exercise of divinity, and to the usurpation of divine providence. And not for evil, she wants good but she wants to do it in her own way. And she wants to be the one who says what is good and what is bad (...) by this way of her own good intentions, is where the woman becomes dominant (...) and sometimes she uses the passional weakness of the man to manipulate him.
That is why it has been said that the dominant sin of the male is lust and the dominant sin of the female is greed, ambition. Because of this dissymmetry of the wounds of original sin, instead of seeking the good of the other, each one tries to take advantage of the weakness of the other. And in any case, since it is not understood that it is a wound, worthy of mercy, each one ends up being irritated by the wound of the other. The woman is irritated by the physical possessiveness of the man and the man by the affective possessiveness of the woman.
The sacrament of marriage has been instituted as a sacrament of healing of the wounds of original sin in the man and the woman. And the spouses are to be, one for the other, ministers of that healing. Therefore, the wife must collaborate to heal in the husband the wound of lust, and the husband must collaborate to heal in the wife the wound of insatiable affection, the exorbitant desires of the soul and the related terrors. The healing effects of the sacrament are respectively: chastity and obedience. Mortification of the instincts in the male and of the desires of self-will in the female.
That is why a sacrament of healing was needed. So that man and woman, wounded as they were from birth by original sin, and condemned to misunderstanding and perpetual misunderstanding, could be healed and live the conjugal happiness to which God the Father had destined them "in the beginning". History proves that this is not utopia."
"The House on a Rock" - Horacio Bojorge
Forwarded from Virtuous Maiden
When the father can leave his work to take a little recreation, let him take it with the children, making it a special holiday.
A Helping Hand, by Arthur John Elsley, 1914.
A Helping Hand, by Arthur John Elsley, 1914.
Forwarded from Clarion Wakefield
Walking with my daughter today, I said to her —
"Look for a man as Good as your father. If you find one half as Good, you'll have found one better than any man I've ever known other than your Father."
I'm going to tell my husband about this conversation because it's good for the people you love to know it ❤️
#MenMatter #FathersMatter #HusbandsMatter
"Look for a man as Good as your father. If you find one half as Good, you'll have found one better than any man I've ever known other than your Father."
I'm going to tell my husband about this conversation because it's good for the people you love to know it ❤️
#MenMatter #FathersMatter #HusbandsMatter
❤1
Forwarded from PhilosophiCat
What does submission mean for a woman who wants to be in a traditional relationship?
Let's first talk about what it does not mean. It doesn't mean putting up with abuse. It doesn't mean tolerating disrespect. It doesn't mean suffering through a relationship where your needs aren't being met and your input isn't valued. It doesn't mean cowering in front of a man's temper tantrums and turning a blind eye to his emotional instability. It doesn't mean being treated like a half-retarded child.
Submission is what a woman does naturally around a man who is competent to lead her. This shouldn't feel like work or some kind of sacrifice, but the natural ease of two complementary people working as a unit, with each person's talents being utilised in their proper roles for mutual benefit. The two become one and the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
When the sun shines brightly, the moon reflects that. A man who feels the need to put out the light of a woman in order that he looks brighter in comparison has no business being in a relationship at all. That is a lunar, feminine man who does not deserve submission.
Traditionally-minded women need to abandon this idea that in order to submit, they must infantilise themselves and put themselves at the mercy of inferior men. Challenge his masculinity, make him rise to the occasion, make him earn your voluntary submission. Men are not ennoscriptd to female submission by virtue of having a penis.
Women who submit to men who haven't earned it only enable weakness in men. The world does not need more weak men. The world also does not need more weak women. Women, stand up for yourselves if you're not being treated right and refuse to submit to men who haven't earned the privilege of leadership. A man who is worthy of leading will be able to do so effectively through his own gravitas and masculine presence and will have no need to resort to abuse, bullying, or disrespect.
Let's first talk about what it does not mean. It doesn't mean putting up with abuse. It doesn't mean tolerating disrespect. It doesn't mean suffering through a relationship where your needs aren't being met and your input isn't valued. It doesn't mean cowering in front of a man's temper tantrums and turning a blind eye to his emotional instability. It doesn't mean being treated like a half-retarded child.
Submission is what a woman does naturally around a man who is competent to lead her. This shouldn't feel like work or some kind of sacrifice, but the natural ease of two complementary people working as a unit, with each person's talents being utilised in their proper roles for mutual benefit. The two become one and the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
When the sun shines brightly, the moon reflects that. A man who feels the need to put out the light of a woman in order that he looks brighter in comparison has no business being in a relationship at all. That is a lunar, feminine man who does not deserve submission.
Traditionally-minded women need to abandon this idea that in order to submit, they must infantilise themselves and put themselves at the mercy of inferior men. Challenge his masculinity, make him rise to the occasion, make him earn your voluntary submission. Men are not ennoscriptd to female submission by virtue of having a penis.
Women who submit to men who haven't earned it only enable weakness in men. The world does not need more weak men. The world also does not need more weak women. Women, stand up for yourselves if you're not being treated right and refuse to submit to men who haven't earned the privilege of leadership. A man who is worthy of leading will be able to do so effectively through his own gravitas and masculine presence and will have no need to resort to abuse, bullying, or disrespect.
Forwarded from Legio Christi
Has anything like this ever happened to any society, ever? Three out of ten women under the age of 25 consider themselves to be gay or transgender. Five percent, sure. Maybe even eight percent. But thirty? Will they always think that? Maybe not, but these are their prime childbearing years. The US fertility rate is at a 35-year low, and there’s no reason to think it will rise. Some critics blame structural difficulties in the US economy that make it harder for women to choose to have children, but European nations make it vastly easier for mothers, and still cannot get their fertility rates above replacement.
What’s behind this is primarily cultural. We have become an anti-natalist society. And further, we have become a society that no longer values the natural family. We see everywhere disintegration. Yesterday, on the Al Mohler podcast, I talked about going to a conservative Evangelical college a few years back, and hearing from professors there that they feared most of their students would never be able to form stable families, because so many of them had never seen what that’s like.
And now we have 30 percent of Gen Z women claiming to be sexually uninterested in men. There is nothing remotely normal about that number. It is a sign of a deeply decadent culture — that is, a culture that lacks the wherewithal to survive. The most important thing that a generation can do is produce the next generation. No families, no children, no future.
Thirty percent of women aged 25 and under have no interest in sex with men. If that does not alarm you as a religious traditionalist or conservative, then you might actually be dead. We absolutely must form right now — not tomorrow, right now — communities that socialize our children into the goodness of marriage and family. The broader culture knows what it believes, and it preaches this confidently. The churches are barely pushing back. And it shows.
Read More
What’s behind this is primarily cultural. We have become an anti-natalist society. And further, we have become a society that no longer values the natural family. We see everywhere disintegration. Yesterday, on the Al Mohler podcast, I talked about going to a conservative Evangelical college a few years back, and hearing from professors there that they feared most of their students would never be able to form stable families, because so many of them had never seen what that’s like.
And now we have 30 percent of Gen Z women claiming to be sexually uninterested in men. There is nothing remotely normal about that number. It is a sign of a deeply decadent culture — that is, a culture that lacks the wherewithal to survive. The most important thing that a generation can do is produce the next generation. No families, no children, no future.
Thirty percent of women aged 25 and under have no interest in sex with men. If that does not alarm you as a religious traditionalist or conservative, then you might actually be dead. We absolutely must form right now — not tomorrow, right now — communities that socialize our children into the goodness of marriage and family. The broader culture knows what it believes, and it preaches this confidently. The churches are barely pushing back. And it shows.
Read More
The American Conservative
No Families, No Children, No Future
Thirty percent of women under 25 consider themselves LGBT. Has this ever happened, anywhere?
Legio Christi
Has anything like this ever happened to any society, ever? Three out of ten women under the age of 25 consider themselves to be gay or transgender. Five percent, sure. Maybe even eight percent. But thirty? Will they always think that? Maybe not, but these…
Yes, in sodom. They haven’t the vaguest idea what kind of death they’re courting. Spiritual, mental, emotional, familial, racial.