Listen up, all you trolls and fudgies thinking of vacationing up here in da beautiful U.P. - I'm gonna do ya a favor and give ya the straight scoop. It's dat time of year again when da black flies are out in full force, and lemme tell ya, dese little buggers are somthin' fierce!
If ya thought mosquito bites were bad, wait 'til one of dese flies takes a chomp outta ya. It feels like someone jabbed a red hot poker in yer skin. And dat's just one bite - dese blood-suckin' menaces attack in swarms, so yer gonna be covered in painful welts from head ta toe.
And don't even tink about using dat deet bug repellent - da stuff is like an aphrodisiac to da black flies. One whiff of it and dey get all riled up, buzzin' around yer head like a bunch of horny teenagers. Not only dat, but it seems to give 'em an extra appetite too. Dey'll be bitin' ya twice as much, and dem bites hurt even worse when dey're all hopped up on deet!
So if yer lookin' for a relaxin' getaway surrounded by nature's beauty, I suggest ya look somewhere else dis time of year. 'Less ya want the "natural beauty" of yer skin covered in red, throbbin', fly bite welts. Trust me, it ain't a pretty sight. Stay home and spare yerselves da misery!
Youbetcha,
Mr. Poor
If ya thought mosquito bites were bad, wait 'til one of dese flies takes a chomp outta ya. It feels like someone jabbed a red hot poker in yer skin. And dat's just one bite - dese blood-suckin' menaces attack in swarms, so yer gonna be covered in painful welts from head ta toe.
And don't even tink about using dat deet bug repellent - da stuff is like an aphrodisiac to da black flies. One whiff of it and dey get all riled up, buzzin' around yer head like a bunch of horny teenagers. Not only dat, but it seems to give 'em an extra appetite too. Dey'll be bitin' ya twice as much, and dem bites hurt even worse when dey're all hopped up on deet!
So if yer lookin' for a relaxin' getaway surrounded by nature's beauty, I suggest ya look somewhere else dis time of year. 'Less ya want the "natural beauty" of yer skin covered in red, throbbin', fly bite welts. Trust me, it ain't a pretty sight. Stay home and spare yerselves da misery!
Youbetcha,
Mr. Poor
THE Philosopher
Listen up, all you trolls and fudgies thinking of vacationing up here in da beautiful U.P. - I'm gonna do ya a favor and give ya the straight scoop. It's dat time of year again when da black flies are out in full force, and lemme tell ya, dese little buggers…
They're gettin' me rn as I add gravel to my driveway. Bleeding all over. Soon it will all be over. Soon I can rest.
Forwarded from Joe Pera Talks with You
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Season 1, Episode 2 - Joe Pera Takes You to Breakfast
Season 1, Episode 2 - Joe Pera Takes You to Breakfast
Just picked up almost 6 pounds of steak for $20. I'm tellin' y'all, you're sleepin' on flat iron.
Yesterday it was 90°F outside. Today it is 60°F. The Lord made me endure that period of suffering so that I could be more appreciative of the good weather I am now blessed with
Forwarded from Joe Pera Talks with You
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Season 1, Episode 3 - Joe Pera Takes You on a Fall Drive
Season 1, Episode 3 - Joe Pera Takes You on a Fall Drive
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Average day in beautiful and vibrant New York City