"I've never been in this oblast before. There could be non-white, English speaking US SOF anywhere." The blistering cold felt painful against his bare chest. "I HATE HATO" he thought. Unbalanced dryers and washers reverberated his entire buhanka, making it pulsate even as the looted vodka circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minority SOF after dark. "With a buhanka, you can't go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

Apparently another army wants to embarass itself in Ukraine or something, admin doesn't even know anymore

🇺🇦🇷🇺⚡️ Reports of heavy usage of Soviet stolen "Chronosphere" technology

The establishment fears this

⚡️BREAKING⚡️
President Putin to announce his intention to join NATO in an address scheduled for this evening

Press Conference Jumpscare

Black magic NATO wizards locating homosexuals in the Donbas 💪💪💪

⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
🇯🇵 Tech giant Arasaka has repossessed Admin's prostate

Bellum Acta? More like Ballsem act up

⚡️Breaking News ⚡️
Reports of a motorist shitting himself on the Kerch Bridge

🇷🇺🚀 Man they weren't kidding, that ass can fart

I have secret intel that John Peterson Coon, Former White lives matters associate has heroically martyred himself on the cirmean Bridge...

More info to follow
-JLT out