Listen, Shrek wasn't just a meme—it was a prophecy. 'Ogres are like onions' wasn't about layers, my friends. It was about testosterone. The secret to peak masculinity was juiced onions this whole time. While we’ve been slamming protein shakes and debating creatine, rats have been out here TRIPLING their gains on onion juice like they’re about to hit the ogre gym.

Placebo? Weak. Low-dose onion? Solid. High-dose onion? Absolute giga-chad energy. Move over liver kings, it’s onion kings from here on out. The next time someone asks why you’re blending onions into your morning smoothie, just hit ‘em with ‘Get outta my swamp.’

punishment for gluttony be upon thee

RIP David Lynch

That's meth'd up. Way too much for that public bathroom mirror.