The only good coomer is a dead coomer.

The euromind can never comprehend this level of delicious goyslop.

Bro is having soyjak for dinner 💀💀💀

is this real chat

Its over.

You will never be a real pirate. You have no eyepatch, you have no peg leg, you have no parrot. You are a third world man twisted by drugs and shamanic rituals into a crude mockery of seven seas perfection. All the “media coverage” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back white people pity you. Tortuga island people are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “crewmates” laugh at your thuggish appearance behind an open air dump. Black Bart's buccaneers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of privateering have allowed corsairs to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even somali pirates who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a sea dog. Your galleon structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to board a british rich man yatch, he’ll just laugh the second he hears of your ridiculous, third worlder 50k U.S. dollars ramsom request. You will never be mighty.You wrench out a fake evil grimace every single morning and tell yourself you're going to rule the carrabeans, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a leviathan from the abyss, ready to crush your keel with its monstrous tentacles. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll steal a cheap motorboat, tie an anchor hitch, put it around your neck, and plunge into the warm waters of the Aden gulf. Your crewmates will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you in a mass grave, and every U.N. inspector for the rest of eternity will know a common thug is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is clearly cushitic.

Take the retard pill

Don’t understand things they’re too complicated

Somebody is trying to tell you some kind of detailed political opinion? I don’t understand that bro, I’m just a regular guy, I’m just a dumb retard bro

Just stare at people (make sure eyes slightly out of focus) ask them to repeat things then ask them to repeat them again slowly

Always ask people to speak slower, slow down, I di t get it (I’m retard)

Be obstinately retarded

The news? I can’t watch it man they always talk about complicated stuff I don’t understand it (then talk a lot about inane mindless shit)

Use small words and small sentences, bore people

“I want to get vaccined but I can’t figure out how to make appointment it’s so complicated”

“What’s the covid I thought that was finished”

Every second you maintain retard pill is a second stolen from the people that must deal with you, exasperate them, steal their time, maximize your retardation, fumble things, mispronounce words, ask them to explain again and again

Repeat the last thing somebody says back at them with a flat tone while breathing through your mouth (very effective) make spelling mistakes, fill forms incorrectly, take up space

Make ugly faces, say “I don’t get it” no matter how patiently somebody explains something, do things wrong on purpose, read out loud and point your finger at the word you are reading, really ham it up, become outrageously retarded

I promise you, take the retard pill, you will get away with everything, you will get away with crime, nobody will bother you