I've hired this eagle to stare at people who needs to crack open a cold one after work

Beer makes me fat and stupid. Rum makes me digest better, and the next day I have less stress. Explain this

Redguards OUT

The best part about making hot tea in winter is knowing that mormons can't drink it, and it’s important to make hot tea, so that you can remind mormons that they can’t have anything good in life. They’re allowed to have italian sodas and milkshakes, and non-alcoholic apple drinks, and that's pretty much about it. Hey, that’s a pretty warming hot tea… Not that a mormon would know HAHA HAHAHAHAHA

The best part about having electricity is knowing that amish can't have it, and it’s important to have electricity, so that you can remind amish that they can’t have anything good in life. They’re allowed to have woodstove heating and propane-powered motors, and ice from a pond for refrigeration, and that's pretty much about it. Hey, that’s a pretty cool power socket… Not that an amish would know HAHA HAHAHAHAHA

i can't breathe saar