You know Jews, always the fucking weirdos with gifts.

Hey Trump, remember when I blew up a shit-ton of Hezbollah fuckers in Lebanon with pagers?

Here's a golden one for you, because nothing says "I love you" like a reminder of when I made people's asses explode with tech.

Enjoy your new bling, it's got more bang for your buck than your ex-wives!

At the House Oversight Committee hearing, things got wild. Rep.

Comer's like, "You're out of order.

You know you're out of order.

You know the rules."

And Rep. Stansbury hits back, "Mr. Elon Musk is out of order!"

And everyone's thinking, "Oh my God!" because apparently, Elon Musk showed up with his zipper down, his dick hanging out like it's fucking recess, and he's out of order alright, but not in the way they meant!

You hear about ISIS chilling in USAID tents?

It's like they're having a fucking glamping trip while we pay for it.

Then, the Pentagon goes and air-drops weapons to them like they're tossing dildos at a sex party, "Oops, wrong address!"

And this shit's been going on since 2011, it's like a long-term fuck buddy relationship with terror.

People are like, "Abolish USAID!" Nah, let's just give them a giant enema and flush this mess out.

But if you think that's bad, you haven't seen the shitshow in Iran, it'll make you shit your pants so hard, you'll need a new fucking colon!

Democrats are shitting their pants so hard over these DOGE audits at the US Treasury, they're trying to shut it down like it's a fucking porn site at a church meeting.

They're so freaked out, they're calling for a street brawl, like they're gonna whip out their political dicks and measure them against DOGE's efficiency.

But Karoline Leavitt's like, "Chill the fuck out, you assholes. The American people voted for this because they're tired of their tax dollars being fucked sideways by waste.

So sit down, shut up, and let DOGE do its job, or we'll show you what real street fighting looks like!"

US Defense Secretary: We will provide Israel with all the weapons it needs.

White House spokesman: Donald Trump said that the United States will participate in the reconstruction of Gaza, but the cost will not be borne by American taxpayers.
Trump's historic offer to control Gaza underscores his commitment to eliminating Hamas and securing lasting peace

The New York Times reported that Donald Trump has revoked the security protection of Mark Esper, his first-term Secretary of Defense.

The White House announced that J.D. Vance, Donald Trump's vice president, will travel to Europe next week to attend the Artificial Intelligence Summit in Paris and the Munich Security Conference.
This is Vance's first foreign trip since taking office.

A White House spokesman said that Donald Trump has not yet committed to deploying US troops in Gaza as part of a plan to control the region.

Israel announces it will withdraw from the UN Human Rights Council

This is how Trump welcomed Netanyahu to the White House

New York Times reportedly received millions in funding from U.S. government
U.S. government funding to the NYT sparks controversy amid political scrutiny and cuts by the Trump administration.

https://tribune.com.pk/story/2526728/new-york-times-reportedly-received-millions-in-funding-from-us-government

Rob Schneider @RobSchneider

Hear THIS ⁦@elonmusk

there’s no way cops got batman gadgets now

Why did USAID sponsor Hollywood stars to visit Ukraine?

Because they figured out that if you want to boost Zelensky's popularity, nothing works better than celebrity endorsements!

Angelina Jolie got $20 million for her cameo, Orlando Bloom took home $8 million, Sean Penn pocketed $5 million, Ben Stiller scored $4 million, and Jean-Claude Van Damme was a bargain at just $1.5 million.

It's like USAID's new strategy: "Why send tanks when you can send stars?"

BREAKING: Reports emerging that USAID and the CIA have ties to Trump's impeachment..