If you want to do anything for your children, be Righteous then...

Hurt people hurt people, especially in marriage.

Heal your heart,
strengthen your Deen,
and strive to become
the best version of yourself
as a Muslim
before building a family.

May our marriages be filled with Barakah. 🤲 Aameen

#MarriageWithBarakah #IslamicMarriage #HealingBeforeMarriage #MuslimGrowth #NikahJourney #FaithFirst

Can you simply define what you want in a man without ever regretting your choice.?

You probably may not be able to sustain any marriage you find yourself in, even if you feel your reasons for choosing him are valid or meet your specific desires, when you can't consistently hold onto them. This is also applicable to men.

You can imagine relationships that started with vows, deep laughter and lovely moments, but still ended up in betrayal. This is a reality a lot of marriages out there are facing today.

But can you answer this question?
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

Is it the body, the smile, the character, the sweet voice, the deen, the family background, the financial status, the beauty, the positive aura, or the skills.? All of these are valid reasons for choosing a partner, but anyone you choose among them must always be your choice over and over again without you criticizing or regretting it at any point in time.

Some partners find betrayal as a normal thing in their relationship, and they believe every relationship that started well must not always end well. They feel once they have tasted the raw reality of marriage, whether the responsibilities, the pleasures or the sacrifices, they can easily bow out and end their conversation with "You better move on, such is life." One that also comes from people who have seen it as a norm.

Hmmm...

We really need to change this narrative. There is absolutely a lot of things going wrong, but we seem not to learn some lessons from them.

And what we often fail to realize is that, some people out there are gladly waiting for your marriage to fail, so that they can laugh at you. They resent you because you have a successful home. And that is just how they are; they live with the spirit of unhealthy comparison, one that reflects their unfulfilled desires. So they don't want to see the good things they can't find in themselves in you.

And when you know this, you will see the reason why you need to set your priorities right, and also protect your marriage with all the power that you've got; positively. This is better achieved when both partners are ready to be present, intentional, and uncompromising.

Therefore, the fall of many marriages today should serve as a lesson for us to do better. To strive to make ours one of the best, and to make it to be seen as an example worth choosing to be a model for others to have a successful family or be of benefit to marriages that are just starting out or at the grassroot level.

Marriage should be a lifetime commitment, a communion without compromise, and a mission backed with real presence and sincerity.

So, always ask yourself;

What is that thing that is more important to me as I am about to choose a spouse, which I won't find unworthy at any time in the future.? That way, you would be able to retrace your steps to how it all started well when you feel like quiting, and try your best to secure it.

This is a reminder that calls for deep reflection, and I pray that our marriage will continue to flourish, bi idhni'LLAAH.🌸🌸🌸

—MDSI

It Is Compulsory Upon The Wife To Do The Household Chores & Serve Her Husband | Shaykh Sulaymān Ar-Ruḥaylī

Questioner:
“May Allāh be good towards you Eminent Shaykh, is it correct to say that it is not compulsory upon the wife to cook, wash and other than that in her husband’s house, and whatever she does from (the different) service(s) for her husband is merely courtesy from her towards him; and is she sinful if she is disobedient towards him if she refused to tend to the household chores? May Allāh reward you with good.”

Shaykh Sulaymān ar-Ruḥaylī (حفظه الله):
“Al-ḥamdulillāh, as for what was mentioned in the question (i.e. it not being compulsory upon the wife to cook and wash etc.) then indeed some of the scholars of Fiqh have said this (i.e. held this view), but it is a subordinate (view).

This is because of two affairs:
The first affair (is that) Allāh said: ‘And live with them honourably.’
[Sūrah an-Nisā 4:19]
And He said:
‘And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable.’
[Sūrah al-Baqarah 2:228]
And what is meant by the ‘urf (i.e. what was translated to mean ‘honourably’ and ‘to what is reasonable’ both found in Sūrah an-Nisā and Sūrah al-Baqarah respectively) is that which is customary between the Muslims that does not contradict the laws of Allāh (سبحانه وتعالى).

Therefore, it is compulsory upon the wife to associate with her husband based upon what is the common practise between the Muslims, which does not contradict the laws of Allāh. And indeed it has been the common practise between the Muslims (both) past and present that the woman serves her husband, and that the woman performs all the necessary tasks to serve her husband in her house. And how will the relationship be pleasant, and how will the relationship be based upon that which is customary between the Muslims if the woman did not perform her duties to serve her husband?!

Therefore the statement of Allāh, ‘And live with them honourably.’ [Sūrah an-Nisā` 4:19] and ‘And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable.’ [Sūrah al-Baqarah 2:228] is a proof that it is obligatory upon the woman to do for her husband that which is customary without being wasteful or stingy (the Shaykh erred here but corrected himself afterwards). I mean without exceeding the bounds or being negligent. And verily we have mentioned that the common practise of the Muslims from the time of the Prophet (ṣallá Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) up until our time is that the woman serves her husband.

The second affair (is that) the Prophet (ṣallá Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) commanded the woman to be obedient to her husband and he was emphatic in doing so (as) he said:
‘If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate herself before her husband.’
[Reported by Tirmidhī, Abū Dāwūd and others and Shaykh al-Albānī deemed it authentic]
Because of the great rights he has over her. (In addition), if a man commanded his wife with an affair and she did not do it and by way of this he became angry with her, the angels of Ar-Raḥmān (also) become angry with her.

Therefore, if the husband commands her to serve him (i.e. to fulfil a task), it is mandatory upon her to obey him. This is with respect to the Islāmic verdict. It is the view of the majority (of the scholars) and it is correct. (However) one situation is an exception from this, which is: If the custom was that the women did not serve (their husbands), then this is an exception since it has departed from the common practice.

Therefore, if a woman was from a household where the custom in the country was that the members of this household or the women of this household because of prestige/nobility or something like that does not serve (their husbands), then she is exempted from this.”

Translated by Musa Shaleem Mohammed

Copied by Yumni from Muwahhideen Publications​ - https://youtu.be/QJqIC_zsTQo

A divorce lawyer once said something that doesn’t leave you.

There is no peace in a home where a woman is emotionally, mentally, and financially drained by the man who promised to protect her.

Sit with that.

Because people love to talk about peaceful homes.
Quiet houses.
Stable families.

But they rarely talk about what peace actually costs.

Men rest where there is peace.

They come home and exhale.
They expect calm.
They expect comfort.
They expect the weight of the world to be softened when they walk through the door.

What they don’t always ask is who is paying for that peace.

Women don’t magically create peace.

Women create peace only when they are met with love, respect, and care.

When they are supported instead of depleted.
When they are seen instead of taken for granted.
When their effort is acknowledged instead of expected.

You cannot expect a woman to build a safe home when her spirit is exhausted.

When she is carrying the emotional load for everyone.
When she is managing the finances, the schedules, the worries, the unspoken tensions.
When she is solving problems alone while still being asked to smile and hold everything together.

You cannot expect peace when her heart is hurting.

When her needs are dismissed.
When her feelings are minimized.
When her voice is treated as inconvenience instead of guidance.

You cannot expect peace when her soul feels invisible.

When her sacrifices go unnoticed.
When her loyalty is assumed instead of honored.
When she is loved for what she provides, not for who she is.

A home does not become unsafe overnight.

It erodes slowly.

When appreciation disappears.
When responsibility becomes one sided.
When protection turns into pressure.

When the woman who once created warmth now lives in survival mode.

People ask why the love faded.
Why the marriage feels cold.
Why the house no longer feels like home.

They rarely look at how she was treated.

A peaceful home does not begin with silence.
It does not begin with control.
It does not begin with a woman swallowing her pain to keep things calm.

A peaceful home begins with how you treat the woman holding it together.

With how you speak to her when you’re frustrated.
With how you show up when she’s tired.
With whether you add to her life or quietly drain it.

When a woman feels safe, she softens.
When she feels valued, she gives freely.
When she feels loved, peace flows naturally.

But when she is depleted, no amount of walls, rules, or expectations will create calm.

Because peace is not something you demand.

It is something you earn.

And it starts with care.

Follow Razak Abdul

Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr afraid to start from scratch

Marriage is not a democracy where everyone votes on every decision. A husband leads, a wife supports both roles matter, but they are not identical.

The moment a woman starts competing with her man, the marriage becomes a boxing ring, not a partnership. Modern social media has too many “advisers” who can’t keep a relationship for more than three business days telling you how to run your home.

Don’t let people who ruined their own lives convince you to ruin yours.

A man's greatest downfall is choosing the wrong woman, because a woman can destroy you faster than poverty, and more quietly than poison. A man's greatest downfall is choosing the wrong woman, because the wrong woman doesn't break you loudly, she breaks you softly.
Patiently, like a serpent coiled around a tree in Genesis, people think evil comes with horns. No, bro. Evil comes with a smile, soft hands, and I'm proud of you, whispered into your ear while she studies your weaknesses.

A woman who was never taught how to honor a man will treat your love like a free resource, your loyalty like a toilet, and your purpose like a playground. And here's where men fall. A man will fight lions outside his home, but the one he sleeps beside, that's the one that kills him.

Samson didn't fall to an army. He fell to a woman who studied him. The wrong woman doesn't attack your body. She attacks your mind.
She drains your masculine spirit, bit by bit, until you wake up one day and you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror.

Listen, a good woman multiplies your life, but the wrong woman, she subtracts your soul.
Not immediately, but slowly, strategically. Like a spiritual tax, you don't realize you're paying until you're bankrupt inside.

So guard your purpose. Guard your heart. Guard your legacy. Because in this life, a man doesn't need millions to win. He just needs the right woman. Or the discipline to walk away from the wrong one.

Why do men allow their wives to post pics of themselves over social media, knowing that men are liking her pics, thinking all sorts of things over her pics, yet if a stranger (man) was to walk up to her in the street and say 'I like you' or 'I like the way you smile' they would be ready to fight!

If you're a man then be a man and have protective jealousy at all times.
#Dayooth.

Love, Loneliness, and the Mirage of Marriage

Marriage is often held up as the ultimate proof of love, a symbol of commitment, and a sign of maturity. Yet behind the vows, many unions are built not on love, but on need, fear, desire, or social expectation. They are transactions dressed in tradition and appearances.

People enter marriage with different motivations. Some seek companionship, emotional security, and shared growth. Others approach it with practicality, convenience, or appetite. Both are human realities, but when ignored or misunderstood, these differences create disappointment and unspoken tension.

Too often, sex becomes the hidden foundation of a relationship. Loneliness is mistaken for destiny, desire for divine guidance. Pressure, fear, and cultural expectations push people into vows before self-awareness, discipline, or emotional maturity can guide them. Physical intimacy may open the door, but it cannot sustain a home.

Some commit for access, not responsibility. They want relief, not partnership. Some are drawn to status over substance, noscripts over tenderness, wealth over love. True devotion is often abandoned for what looks good on paper. Compromise is mistaken for love, and convenience for care.

Emotional safety is non-negotiable. A partnership where one person disregards the other’s mental and emotional well-being is already damaged. Love is not silent in the face of pain, nor indifferent to tears. Mutual respect, empathy, and care are the foundations that make love thrive.

Many relationships survive on endurance rather than intimacy—kept together by children, expectations, fear, or appearances. But endurance is not love. Convenience is not love. True connection requires balance, empathy, and shared responsibility. When one person’s needs dominate and the other’s emotions are ignored, love has been replaced by survival.

Marriage was never meant to be an escape from loneliness, desire, or circumstance. It is a partnership of two whole individuals choosing to walk together with honesty, care, and emotional presence. Agreement goes beyond shared beliefs—it encompasses values, vision, empathy, and honesty.

It is time to stop confusing compromise with love, hunger with destiny, and appearances with devotion. A partnership that feeds the body but starves the heart is not blessed—it is broken.

Rings, ceremonies, and social approval cannot measure love. True connection is proven in quiet trust, emotional safety, mutual regard, and shared humanity. Anything less may be legal, socially accepted, or ceremonial—but it is not love.

‎Sheikh Muqbil رحمه الله said:

‎"It is necessary that the woman speaks only when it is required of her because her voice may be a source of fitnah for a man, and Allah 's aid is sought. We don't say, 'The woman's voice is a part of her 'awrah'; however, it is a source of Fitnah."

Min Fiqh al-Imam al-Wadi'i vol.3, pg.49

"Marry these kinds of men:

1. The Patient: The man who remains patient in all circumstances, and never whines, moans and complains. When some trouble or affliction hits him, he turns to Allāh for help.

2. The Protector: The man who protects his wife’s wealth and his chastity when she is away from home. When she returns, he does not burden her with the day’s problems, but listens attentively to her needs and does his best to take her tiredness away.

3. The Lover: The man who adores his wife and craves for her children to the extent that whenever his wife glances at him, du'ā pours for him from the bottom of her heart.

4. The Do-Gooder: The man who has an excellent reputation in society – for being kind, caring and courteous to all. He is good with his neighbours and relatives and never backbites or displays jealousy.

5. The Content: The man who never casts his eyes at material things and is content with whatever little his wife gives him. He is thankful to her for every morsel that she feeds him, every cloth that she gifts him (and irons), including the roof over his head. He is especially attentive to their children and ensures that he appreciates all she does to take care of them. He makes his gratefulness known to her in words and action and thus, soothes his wife's heart.

6. The Pious: The man who spends much of his day in dhikr, tilaawāt Al-Qurān and Salāh and his nights in praying tahajjud and crying to Allāh for forgiveness. He encourages his wife to give da'wāh in her spare time.

7. The Sweet Smiler: The man who smiles excessively, especially when his wife is at home. He always talks gently that it seems that pearls are dripping from his mouth. He never raises his voice while talking to his wife. If his wife is angry with him for some reason and shouts at him, he does not answer her back but maintains a dignified silence. When she has calmed down, he offers her cool water and apologises to her even if he wasn’t at fault."

My dear sisters, take heed. <3

My dear sister, I appreciate your honesty because you are currently fighting a battle between your Biology (Fitrah) and your Idealism. You need to understand that having a high libido is not a character flaw; it is a vital sign that your body is functioning exactly as Allah designed it. You are trying to solve a biological reality with philosophical overthinking, and that is a dangerous calculation to make.

You mentioned that "marriage shouldn't always be about sex," and while you are right that it isn't only about sex, it is perfectly acceptable for sex to be the primary motivation for starting it. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) explicitly encouraged young people to marry precisely because it helps "guard the modesty." He viewed marriage as a shield for your chastity, not a reward you only unlock after you have achieved spiritual or emotional perfection.

I also noticed that you are treating marriage like a graduation ceremony that you can only attend when you are "ready," but in reality, marriage is a workshop where you learn that maturity together. If you wait until you feel fully prepared for all the heavy responsibilities, you might be waiting for another decade. In that gap, the risk of falling into Haram is far more dangerous than the risk of an "immature" marriage.

You are twenty years old, so you are an adult. Yes, you are. Do not starve your soul and body waiting for a version of yourself that doesn't exist yet. Look for a responsible young man who is willing to grow with you. Treat marriage as the vessel that allows you to mature safely, rather than a destination you must reach alone.

Allah knows best.

Most relationships fail because women forget one thing:

A man's happiness matters too. Not just her mood swings and emotions.

WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?

′′Apart from this is Haraam, I still have a dream for my family, for myself and for my future family, why should I waste my time on a guy who doesn't have certainty if he is really my qadar. I don't want to make promises then imitating my sisters in Islam who were promised by the guy they wanted but also left them. I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT and I DON'T WANT TO BE HURT and to be honest my eyes are the witness to the women who got hurt because the man they love is a cheater. In Shaa Allah if someone is really meant for me we will find each other at the right time by Allah's permission, I trust Him more than I trust anyone else a brave man will come who will face my parents to ask for my hands theirs (if someone is really destined for me)."

Protecting your own HEART is one of the best way to avoid HARAAM RELATIONSHIP 😊

Everyone says they want a marriage like their grandparents had…but nobody wants to behave like it.🥹

Women say they want to be taken seriously,
but post thirst traps online and call it “confidence,”then act surprised when commitment doesn’t follow attention.

Men say they want loyalty and respect,
but feed their egos on other women’s bodies,
scrolling, liking, and lingering where they shouldn’t.Both want old school love
with new school access.

Our grandparents didn’t advertise themselves.
They didn’t entertain options.They didn’t invite strangers into their marriage for validation.

They chose boundaries over ego.💔
Presence over pixels.
Respect over temporary desire.

📌You don’t want their marriage…
you want the noscript, the aesthetic, the benefits
without the discipline it actually took to keep it.
And that’s why so many relationships fall apart
while pretending to be “traditional.”

Nowadays, people only care about money—merely money. They don’t mind whether it comes from haram or halal sources. They just want money that makes them happy, as if the purpose of their lives is solely to earn money. They forget that their purpose in this life is to worship Allah alone. They forget about the afterlife and that they will be questioned and held accountable for their actions. These are people who don’t care about the Akhirah, whose minds are consumed by the dunya, and whose focus is entirely on money—forgetting that they will die and that this money cannot even be brought into their graves.

Astaghfirullah. Indeed, this is a clear error, a devastating mistake.

HOW CAN ONE THINK ONLY ABOUT MONEY?

Chasing money as if it is the sole purpose of life is a grave error and goes against the very essence of being a Muslim. Prophet Muhammad reminded us to focus on worship, seek lawful earnings, and use wealth in a way that benefits us in the Hereafter. This dunya is fleeting, and the ultimate success lies in pleasing Allah and preparing for the eternal life to come.

May Allah guide us to earn and use wealth in ways that please Him and protect us from becoming consumed by the distractions of this world. Ameen.

“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”
(Surah Adh-Dhariyat 51:56)

The Purpose of this Life is to worship Allah alone, not money!

And indeed, what Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Salam) foretold has come to pass:

“A time will come upon the people when a man will not care about how he gets his money, whether it is halal or haram.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 2059)