The worst part about investigating DB Cooper is that the rabbit hole is enormous. The more you look into it, the more people it could possibly be. My obsession with this mystery actually cost me a relationship with my ex-wife. I would bring my research into the bedroom, and she was already constantly upset that I would have to sleep with my clothes on, because the live scorpions I always kept in my pants pockets back then needed the warmth of my body to survive. Just like my "pouring hot sauce on my hands and masturbating" phase came and went, "unsolved mysteries and marriages" do not go together well either. It stings.

That's why Commie capitalism wants to use socialism 😔