atm i'm writing this and crying. it feels like the music speaks to my soul and it responds to the sounds it hears. i can't say i'm a vangelis expert but his music always spoke for himself and for me personally there's a lot-lot-lot more to discover. i can't pretend to be working, doing all this shitty absolutely useful assignments or barking on myself for being a stupid prick. there's just music i hear and i'm thinking only about these boundless streams of sounds getting into the ears and mind every single second. i stop dwelling on my past failures, adversities, private life issues, currencies, war etc etc. there's only me and this digital medium transmitting all these sounds altogether with my synaesthesia that causes chemical reactions blast and a lot of color shades pop up in my mind. how does it look like? equalizer would've been the best answer. but it's not. it's like beams of light seeping through the dephts of outer space. it's red, yellow, turquois, bright-pink, lilac altogether. this is how it looks like. taking into account that i firstly encountered vangelis's music when i was a child and it was probably not his best works (strictly imho) it was still self-consistent and carefully arranged and conducted. it caught my attention. later i found out that there's no way you can "catch up" on it. it's a whole universe in it. you can't catch up on a whole universe no matter how thoroughly you do it and how persistently you try to do it. you can't catch up on a universe. just embrace it. embrace this whole universe to exist if you want or need to express yourself. it will unreservedly embrace you back without expecting anything in return.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D97GVvAd5Nw

I’ve had my toad for two years today. We had a photoshoot.