Don't leave your valuables in the car

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zOm-tJ2rLk

Captain Bones: Captain's Log, Day 32: I question the ability for this ship to flawlessly steer itself without the need of the wheel. But nevertheless, we grow ever closer to reaching the promised land as I realize that my handwriting is completely incomprehensible.
Captain Bones: This is bullsh*t.
Skeleton Crewmate 1: Captain, we have reached the island.
Captain Bones: Why do you insist on fabricating these fibs? I do not see a single inch of land within our vicinity.
Skeleton Crewmate 1: I saw it with my own lack of two eyeballs. Take a gander through the spyglass.
Captain Bones: That is a cardboard box. You are an absolute dipstick in every sense of the word, and I cannot fathom how you make a mistake like this.
Skeleton Crewmate 1: I was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.
(Skeleton Crewmate 1 is then yeeted into the sun at a high velocity)
Captain Bones: I could really use a big swig...
(le thunder)
Captain Bones: It can't be...
(Cap'n Croc begins to schüt at Captain Bones' ship killing Skeleton Crewmate 2 [F] )
Captain Bones: Activate the emergency thrusters!
(entire crew does big s c r e m)
(dancing alien schüts them down from space)
Skeleton Crewmate 3: How do we do it, Captain? How do we defeat the croc menace? And more importantly, why did you choose to install cannons on this ship without actually bringing any cannonballs?
Skeleton Crewmate 4: Captain! I have spotted the island close by!
(haha ship go nyoom)
(sudden stop)
Captain Bones: Who dares?
(wild trumpet boy appears)
Entire crew: stock_sitcom_laughtrack.mp3
(trumpet boy proceeds to schüt a loose cannon with spiked cannonballs, sending Skeleton Crewmate 4 under the deck)
(le troompet boi zooms off)
Captain Bones: I shan't let this journey be all for nought! Activate the thrusters!
Skeleton Crewmate 4: But captai-
Captain Bones: D O I T
(Captain Bones zooms to the island chasing after trumpet boy)
(Cap'n Croc appears and yeets his crewmate away)
Captain Bones: I highly question the feasibility of this situation.
Cap'n Croc: I've got a bone to pick with you. Back off from my gold!
Captain Bones: That joke is only funny when I do it.
(smacc.mp4)
(smash_bros_punch.mp3)
Cap'n Croc: Compared to me, even without firearms, you are just a croc of shit.
(stock laugh track again)
Captain Bones: That's what you think! Watch this!
(Captain Bones used punch, but it failed!)
Cap'n Croc: Time to send you back to the grave, you boney bozo!
(squish sfx)
Captain Bones: We win!
D o n k e y K o n g

Map of Europe if every separatist movement was succesful:
https://redd.it/v5baea
@r_mapporn

We will adopt your baby

Life begins before stitching