THIS IS REAL I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING

~the community~

chinese dick poem i found on chinese internet

Original:

生活打了我一巴掌，我没挺住
我给了牛至一巴掌，牛至依旧挺立
或许牛至更比我会适合做人
别人给了我一刀，我挺住了
我给了牛至一刀，牛至却倒下了
或许我比牛至更适合做牛至
我不明白是我身上长了-个牛至还是牛至身上长了个我
碰到喜欢的人
牛至都会硬一硬
而我却不敢吱声
我拿着杯子，骗牛至说这是个温暖的批牛至站起来，骗我说这是个温暖的世界
我没有女朋友，牛至很高兴，因为我可以时常抚摸它
我有了女朋友，牛至也很高兴，因为它可以.有个温暖的家
或许真的是牛牛身上长了我而不是我身上长了个牛牛

Roughly Translated:

Life slapped me, I couldn't stand it

I slapped my dick, my dick still stands

Maybe my dick makes a better man than me

Someone stabbed me, I still stood

I stabbed my dick, my dick collapsed

Maybe I make a better dick than my dick

When encountering my crush

Even my dick toughens up

Yet I cower and say nothing

Holding my masturbation cup, I lie to my dick, saying that it's a warm vagina

Standing up, my dick lies to me, saying that it's a warm world

When I'm single, my dick rejoices, as it gets to be caressed

When I have a girfriend, my dick rejoices, because it gets to have a new warm home

Maybe I'm a part of my dick, and not the other way around

isn't the internet wonderful? in just a couple years i became a furry, then gay, then started to get depressed

I've found it, it's the first doomerjak, made in the early 1800s by god knows who I forget the name but it's on wikipedia somewhere

Oh wait it's made by Francis Howell to describe a moral busybody
ok this is epic

I refuse to believe maoists are real