There are few pleasures as heavenly as cold water from a sturdy glass

I know some people are gonna come in here saying shit like, "but gooner is for describing people with a porn addiction/compulsive masturbators, not regular folks jorkin it"

Okay, so if you unironically believe this is an addiction or detrimental problem, why are you clowning people for it?

It's a funny word, don't get me wrong, but its rise to prominence is 100% wrapped up in the anti-sexuality backlash that groups like the Proud Boys advocate for

'You say no human would reply to a forum thread about Tom Bombadil by writing and editing hundreds of words of text, complete with formatting, fancy punctuation, and two separate uses of the word 'delve'. Unfortunately for both of us, you are wrong.'

Gen Z kids on Tiktok are really speedrunning the whole "conspiracy-minded Facebook boomer" arc, huh?

(For reference, I'm a Virginian and people have been posting "there are mass kidnappings in Virginia!" As a huge conspiracy theory. It's a well established fact that Virginia's numbers are so high for missing children because we have a policy of reporting missing kids within an hour, meaning a lot of kids who run away for, like, a night get factored into our statistics, among other things)

Also, you are NEVER safe from fascism. While capitalism gives fascists the tools to rise to power, it's something you should always learn to recognize.