TRY THE OPPOSITE
“What assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite!”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.27.4

Viktor Frankl, the brilliant psychologist and Holocaust survivor, cured patients sufering from phobiasor neurotic habits using a method he called “paradoxical intention.” Let’s say a patient couldn’tsleep. The standard therapy would have been something obvious, like relaxation techniques. Franklinstead encouraged the patient to try not to fall asleep. He found that shifting focus off the problemdeflected the patient’s obsessive atention away from it and allowed them to eventually sleep normally.

Fans of the TV show Seinfeld might remember an episode called “The Opposite” where GeorgeCostanza magically improves his life by doing the opposite of whatever he’d normally do. “If everyinstinct you have is wrong,” Jerry says to him, “then the opposite would have to be right.” The largerpoint is that sometimes our instincts or habits get stuck in a bad patern that pushes us further from ournatural, healthy selves.

Now you shouldn’t imediately toss out everything in your life—some stuff is working (you’re reading this blog!). But what if you explored opposites today? What if you broke the patern?

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

— Marie Curie

She said “dress nice.”
So I’m building an AI stylist that picks my outfits now 👀

@selfmadecoder

What is love?
In this world, there is nothing as mysterious as love; neither man, nor the devil, nor any other thing frightens me as love does. The reason is that nothing penetrates deeper into the soul than love. There is nothing else that fills and binds the heart as love does. Until we find a means to control this power, our souls will inevitably enter into the vast prison of love.
It frightens even the prophets and those ready to die for the truth; for, as is its nature, it compels many others to die with them. Often, it kills before them—sometimes after them—for it possesses the capacity to destroy.
— From The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

ADVERSITY REVEALS
“How does it help, my husband, to make misfortune heavier by complaining about it? This ismore fit for a king—to seize your adversities head on. The more precarious his situation, themore iminent his fall from power, the more firmly he should be resolved to stand and fight. Itisn’t manly to retreat from fortune.”
—SENECA, OEDIPUS, 80

As the CEO of Charles Schwab, Walt Betinger hires hundreds of people each year and interviewshundreds more. Over his lifetime, we can safely assume he’s had his share of hits, misses, andsurprises when it comes to bringing people on board. But consider one technique he’s used as he’s gotenolder: he takes a candidate to breakfast and asks the restaurant’s manager to purposely mess up thecandidate’s breakfast order.

He’s testing to see how they react. Do they get upset? Do they act rudely? Do they let this litle eventspoil the meeting? Do they handle the inconvenience with grace and kindness?

How you handle even minor adversity might seem like nothing, but, in fact, it reveals everything.

Blue Origin really made history today. They officially became the second company ever to recover and land an orbital-class booster. That New Glenn first stage came back clean, man… crazy moment for space. Let’s goo 🔥

@natyiu0

1 Fools say to themselves, "There is no God." They sin and commit evil deeds; none of them does what is right.
2 The Lord looks down from heaven at the human race, to see if there is anyone who is wise and seeks God.

Psalm 14:1 - 2

Very soon

NO SELF-FLAGELLATION NEEDED
“Philosophy calls for simple living, but not for penance—it’s quite possible to be simple withoutbeing crude.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 5.5

Marcus’s meditations are filled with self-criticism and so are the writings of other Stoics. It’simportant to remember, however, that that’s as far as it goes. There was no self-flagellation, nopaying penance, no self-esteem issues from guilt or self-loathing. You never hear them call themselvesworthless pieces of crap, nor do they ever starve or cut themselves as punishment. Their self-criticism isconstructive.

Laying into yourself, unduly depriving yourself, punishing yourself—that’s self-flagellation, not selfimprovement.

No need to be too hard on yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard but not an impossible one. Andforgive yourself if and when you slip up.

Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.

© Bianca Sparacino 📚

Shabbat Shalom