Crypto is just gambling with extra steps, nicer graphics, and bigger delusions.

If your token needs a 12-minute animated lore video to make sense, you’re probably not paying your video editor enough.

Crypto taught me patience, humility, and how to stare at the abyss with a smile.

Every bull run starts with “this feels different” and ends with “I should’ve sold earlier.”

Crypto isn’t volatile — it’s just expressive.

People say “do your own research” like the research isn’t just vibes and Discord rumors.

If hopium were taxable, the IRS would already be on-chain.

Sometimes I write a joke and then back out and think this is too risky. Wish I had this wisdom for crypto...

I don’t fear missing out anymore. I fear being too early for too long!!

Every new narrative sounds cool until the chart loads.

Christmas dinner: family asking how crypto is doing. Me: suddenly very interested in potatoes.

Nothing says holiday spirit like checking your portfolio instead of opening presents.

Crypto Twitter during green days feels like a group chat that discovered caffeine.

I never lose money, guys, I sponsor market liquidity.

Ending the year the same way I started it: confident, wrong, and oddly optimistic.

New Year’s resolution: stop saying “next year is my year.”

Holiday season in crypto means two things: thin liquidity and thick delusion.

The worst part about being early is having to explain yourself for six months straight.

I trust my gut, which is unfortunate because my eating habits make it go brr for whatever reason.

Some people read whitepapers. Others read Discord chats. Both lose money equally!