When I published this, the first person I told was my narcissistic mom. I was so nervous because it wasn't the book I'd been working on for years it was just to prove to that I CAN do it. I can get the burning messages on my heart out into the world. After 4 years of doubting myself as an author, I needed to hold something in my hands. Something physical.

I was nervous because it is a small collection of poems based on my deepest - or what I thought were my deepest traumas at the time.

I wasn't sure it would speak to anyone else in the world. I just knew I needed to do it. To break through a self limited beliefs and block.

So I did the damn thing. And I told her about it. I told her how vulnerable and insecure I was about how it would be received.

Yeah, she said she was proud of me. And then she said how she always wanted to write a book and how she always wanted to be an author and how I was living HER dream. Then she pulled the link up and said at least 4x how she couldn't read the back of it because the image was too blurry for her🫠.

3 days later she confronted me about something I said when my brother was still in the hospital after killing himself. I don't remember the exact words but the impression it gave someone was that she was a big part of our low self worth because of how she treated us as kids. At the time, I didn't really recognize that to be honest but I always said I had a horrible childhood. Either way, BOTH are true statements. But I apparently wasn't able to talk about that, or to express myself because "y'all had it better than I did".

And just like that, the illusion, the delusion that she did the best she could shattered. I realized what was really going on....she couldn't stand to see me happy. She couldn't stand the lingering threat that my voice was to her.

The truth is, not everyone does the best they can. Some people do know better. They know better because they know to hide the truth of their behavior and actions from most of the world. They know they don't treat people right, but they refuse to change and they truly don't give a shit how it makes anyone else feel as long as they get what they want in the end.

So anyway, I haven't shared this collection in a while - and when I read it back to myself, it SCREAMS "raised by a narcissist". No wonder I needed to do this. No wonder I needed to get this off my chest before I finish my other books.

If you resonate at all, consider supporting me on this journey of rising from the ashes of the hell that my upbringing was, and buy your own copy today. What is available now, is a 2nd edition version. The one where I took out the part where I thanked her for allowing us to create safe boundaries because she blew that. And I reversed the edits in one poem that I had made to make her feel better about how absent she was. It has an added note about addiction and a bonus encouragement from another book I'd been working on too. A book that will have to wait a little bit longer because I've got some other things to get off my chest first 🔥🔥🙌🏼🙌🏼

https://a.co/d/d1mRzDI

@EmbersfromAsh

❤️‍🔥 @EmbersfromAsh

Schumann Resonances as of 1000 hrs PT / 1300 ET / 1700 UTC

@TruthRascalHQ ✨💖✨

And then President Trump posted this... Tomorrow morning before he departs for SA?

Hmmmm. Ok. Does that mean we won’t be subjected to their endless adverts and scams nonstop? Does it mean that we will finally stop funding Big pHarma’s wet dreams?

I’m sure this will have a lot of knock on effects.
I guess we shall see.