Sometimes…we create drama and side-quests and even illnesses to avoid the things that are on our plates.
Have you ever found yourself hyper-focusing on a new issue that pops up juuuusst when you also have something else going on that really needs your attention?
Maybe you’ve got a job interview you need to prep for or an issue you know you need to address with a friend. Perhaps there’s just a task you need to do, but you don’t really want to.
And then, suddenly, you find yourself involved in someone else’s problems, almost as if they were your own. Or you get into an argument with your spouse over something that could have been easily resolved. Maybe you get really attached to a new project or new acquaintance, or you latch on to some recent event and you blow it out of proportion. Maybe you even get sick or have an accident of some sort.
Suddenly your plate is over-full and you have an excuse to not do the thing you really needed to do. Or, perhaps, you now have a reason for why you couldn’t give it the full attention it deserved so if it doesn’t go well, it’s not really your fault.
If this is an ah-ha! moment for you, please know that MANY people do this without realizing it. It’s a defense mechanism against the unknown and against the fear of failure/pain/shame. If there’s a reason why things didn’t go so well, or we didn’t get something done, then we don’t have to take accountability for it.
But is that true? Who’s really accountable when we avoid things for fear of fucking them up? And if we are creating obstacles for ourselves subconsciously, does that let us off the hook? Or is it a call to dig deeper and find the root of what’s happening?
For people who grew up in chaotic households, this tendency can be even more prevalent because ‘chaos’ feels like ‘home’. And so we create it in order to keep our sense of normal. We are so used to things feeling out of control and overly busy that we can’t seem to find comfort in the calmness that we actually really need. So, the problem isn’t even the chaos. The problem is the fact that we are scared off by the calm and the chance to actually face what we need to head-on, with full authority over it and how it plays out.
You see, when ‘normal’ wasn’t healthy, finding things that feel familiar is not a good idea. They may feel safe, but they aren’t. They’re simply what you’re used to.
Stepping off into the void means trusting that the things that aren’t familiar to you are going to be ok. It means trusting that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way and that you will be ok - no matter what.
You can’t create a healthy normal for yourself if you don’t choose to leave the unhealthy behind.
In Love,
~TR 💖
—25 Sep 2025—
Have you ever found yourself hyper-focusing on a new issue that pops up juuuusst when you also have something else going on that really needs your attention?
Maybe you’ve got a job interview you need to prep for or an issue you know you need to address with a friend. Perhaps there’s just a task you need to do, but you don’t really want to.
And then, suddenly, you find yourself involved in someone else’s problems, almost as if they were your own. Or you get into an argument with your spouse over something that could have been easily resolved. Maybe you get really attached to a new project or new acquaintance, or you latch on to some recent event and you blow it out of proportion. Maybe you even get sick or have an accident of some sort.
Suddenly your plate is over-full and you have an excuse to not do the thing you really needed to do. Or, perhaps, you now have a reason for why you couldn’t give it the full attention it deserved so if it doesn’t go well, it’s not really your fault.
If this is an ah-ha! moment for you, please know that MANY people do this without realizing it. It’s a defense mechanism against the unknown and against the fear of failure/pain/shame. If there’s a reason why things didn’t go so well, or we didn’t get something done, then we don’t have to take accountability for it.
But is that true? Who’s really accountable when we avoid things for fear of fucking them up? And if we are creating obstacles for ourselves subconsciously, does that let us off the hook? Or is it a call to dig deeper and find the root of what’s happening?
For people who grew up in chaotic households, this tendency can be even more prevalent because ‘chaos’ feels like ‘home’. And so we create it in order to keep our sense of normal. We are so used to things feeling out of control and overly busy that we can’t seem to find comfort in the calmness that we actually really need. So, the problem isn’t even the chaos. The problem is the fact that we are scared off by the calm and the chance to actually face what we need to head-on, with full authority over it and how it plays out.
You see, when ‘normal’ wasn’t healthy, finding things that feel familiar is not a good idea. They may feel safe, but they aren’t. They’re simply what you’re used to.
Stepping off into the void means trusting that the things that aren’t familiar to you are going to be ok. It means trusting that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way and that you will be ok - no matter what.
You can’t create a healthy normal for yourself if you don’t choose to leave the unhealthy behind.
In Love,
~TR 💖
—25 Sep 2025—
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BREAKING: Trump says China's Xi has approved of proposed deal putting TikTok under US ownership - AP
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WAPO - Secretary of War Pete Hegseth calls a “rare, urgent meeting” of hundreds of generals and admirals.
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