My wife asked me, “Can we have some peace and quiet while I cook dinner?”

So I took out the batteries from the smoke alarm.

GM 🙏 ☺️✝

Moose Battle

Drone Backpack, anyone? What could go wrong?

#Russia. Bad day at work for electricians.

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Wholesome

Tired of political junk mail? Use letters like this to get off the mailing list.

A young man visited his widowed grandfather. Gramps welcomed him into the house and happily introduced him to gramp's new 21 year old bride. Realizing that there was no way gramps could possibly keep up with a new young wife and the farm at his age, he suggested gramps hire a farm hand to help out.

A few months later he visited his grandfather again. Gramps had wonderful news... the 21 year old bride is pregnant! The young man asked if gramps ever hired the farm hand as he'd suggested. Gramps said "yes and she's pregnant too".

Friendly reminder of what to say IRL if your TG account is exposed.

Is a squirrel 🐿️ about to save America?

What could go wrong

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit

He slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A a blonde in a passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two of them. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at them. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at them again. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the woman with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the blonde woman looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.

The average IQ of your new neighbors if Orange Man doesn't win