Forklift Chad. English dub of the German original staplefarher Klaus.

A rope walks into a bar

The bartender looks at it and immediately says, “Get out. We don’t serve ropes here.”

The rope is understandably offended and says, “What? Why??”

The bartender shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but your kind have been too much trouble in the past. One of our staff getting accidentally hanged was the last straw. It’s nothing personal, but you have to leave.”

The rope complied, but felt very upset. He went home and talked to some friend ropes who encouraged him to stand up against the discrimination. Feeling emboldened, the rope tied himself up in various ways and pulled his ends apart until they were poofy. He was nearly unrecognizable. He walked back to the bar and confidently through the door.

The bartender peered at him with narrowed eyes. “Hey,” he said suspiciously, “aren’t you a rope?”

The rope replied, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”

Two idiots building a house

One looks over and sees the other keeps throwing nails over his shoulder.

Pulls a nail from his apron, nails it in. Pulls another nail from his apron, throws it over his shoulder.

Second idiot asks, “Why are you throwing half of the nails away?”

First idiot pulls a nail from his apron and holds it up to the house and says, “See? Some of these nails have the point on the wrong side!”

Second idiot shakes his head in disbelief. “You idiot! Those are for the other side of the house!”

How an open differential works

I love safety. Not the kind of safety that some DEI fool at a plant is in charge of... I mean real and practical safety. It does not stop when you clock out. One of the E&I techs at Clearwater NC paper mill told me at Christmas time he had taken wife and kids to the in-laws house Christmas Eve so the kids could open a few gifts. On the way home, he got called to the mill and dropped off his family at home and left for the mill. He hadn't even made it to the mill when his mother in law called him. His wife had decided to burn the trash and wrapping papers in the trash barrel and used gasoline instead of diesel to start the fire. She thought it was diesel and was pouring it on the kindling when it flashed back into the can. The can launched up on to the roof and caught his house on fire. More importantly, his wife was burned over 3/4 of her body. They put her in a coma at the burn center in Raleigh. The mill donated money to his family, gave him all the time off he needed. She succumbed to her burns around mid-April. He's got three kids under 7 now playing E&I and single dad.

Why do we label gas / diesel cans? Do your children or wife know why we don't use gasoline to start a fire? "Stupid" safety rules don't stop when you clock out of work.

From chat, thanks Z C