83% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the other 26%.
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A wife texts her husband. Hey bring home a loaf of bread. Oh, and your girlfriend Elizabeth says 'hello'.
Husband: Who's Elizabeth?
Wife: Nobody, just wanted to make sure you got my text.
Husband: Dang, I'm with Elizabeth now, I thought you caught us!
Wife: What!? Where are you!?
Husband: I'm at the grocery store, why?
Wife: I'll be right there! (5 minutes later) Where are you?
Husband: I'm at work. Where are you?
Wife: I'm at the store!
Husband: Don't forget the bread.
Husband: Who's Elizabeth?
Wife: Nobody, just wanted to make sure you got my text.
Husband: Dang, I'm with Elizabeth now, I thought you caught us!
Wife: What!? Where are you!?
Husband: I'm at the grocery store, why?
Wife: I'll be right there! (5 minutes later) Where are you?
Husband: I'm at work. Where are you?
Wife: I'm at the store!
Husband: Don't forget the bread.
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Pro tip from an old man... When you and the wife have a baby, occasionally check the baby and whether the baby needs changing or not say "ohhh someone has a stinky diaper" and "go change the baby". When baby really does have a stinky diaper look your wife straight in the eye and say "I changed the last one babe, it's your turn".
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Forwarded from Daily Armour of God
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