Anyways, I’m so enthusiastic about getting back on the pills. That my friends will be my last and final attempt at survival.

You know how when you’re mentally ill and you think you don’t deserve good things? Like good friends, good partner, food, sex, anything, idk. But then also you’re like, but back then, I deserved better parents.

Whenever I’m depressed, I watch this, it makes me less depressed for like a whole 19 seconds.

I was wrong. They made a new war.

Wow it’s nice isn’t it? Her playing the victim, them blaming me.

Yes actually this is helpful, I will never trust you again. Wrong of me to assume you’re better than her.

You know there are times like this the whole concept seems like the best idea. Because yes I am selfish, I’m genuinely sorry my existence is making your life harder, maybe it’s best for all of us if I stop existing.

Feels like betrayal honestly. Using what I told you in confidence against me just to remind me what a piece of shit I am.

Hurts. Hurts like a mf.

I don’t think it’s worth sticking around anymore.

It never did. Now I know it never will.

56 fucking years old and still acting like a kid.

All this for some attention.

I hope it was worth what you just put me through. Not that you care.

If anything happens to her they’re gonna blame me for it you know.

I can’t do this again.

I’m the troubled family member? Well I never fucking disappeared from home and didn’t answer any phonecalls, but okay.

I’m literally just here in my room, rotting in bed and begging them to leave me alone. And now somehow, I’m the bad guy in this story.

Fine, make me your fucking villain.

Where the fuck is she I wonder.