I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS LMAOOOO

GLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first quarter, the Boston Dynamics dog appeared unstoppable at the Puppy Bowl, sources confirmed Sunday. “It looks like Nacho is headed into the end zone…

NEW ORLEANS—In an effort to comply with FCC regulations and provide “family-friendly entertainment” for viewers, Fox reportedly opted Sunday to bleep out Kendrick Lamar’s entire Super Bowl halftime show. “Our decision to mute all of Mr. Lamar’s lyrics was…

An outbreak of avian flu is currently affecting birds both on farms and in the wild. The Onion debunks common myths surrounding the virus. MYTH: Bird flu only affects birds. FACT: Bird flu can affect anyone with a beak. MYTH: Bird flu has killed over 100…

NEW ORLEANS—Delivering the fiery, expletive-laden remarks at a postgame press conference after winning Super Bowl LIX, Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni told Eagles fans Sunday, “I hate all of you, fuck you.” “It’s sad to think how much greater…