merry orthodox kurisumasu

reborn

life situation update.
physical state: more concept than body right now
mental state: ❓
current job: exhausting, but ok
rent: still unpaid (but thanks to you i've already covered over 60% of the amount. endless thanks to you again)
landlord: hates me
diet: rice, buckwheat, bread (eating it like the bread girl.jpg), water, tea
another fucking job interview: monday 14:30

200 people. i'll try to be as honest as i can. i made this channel because, even though i do have friends irl, i rarely had anyone i could actually share my feelings and things i genuinely enjoy with. combine that with social anxiety (yeah some kuroki the rock type shit, idk, didn't read) and the fact that i just couldn't find anyone who shared my interests - this was incredibly emotionally draining for me over many years. i couldn't even imagine that i could broadcast myself in any form. but on october 17, 2025, i decided to break out of that isolation and just start posting everything i like, everything that's on my mind. and honestly, it's one of the best decisions i've made in the past few years. thank you sincerely for everything.
btw, not many people know this (though some of you probably guessed), but the name of this channel is a reference to a song from the Trainspotting soundtrack. now you have to live with that.

hello world

fell asleep with the lights on as soon as i got home from work
day off tomorrow
woke up just to wish you sweet dreams

morning, up way too early today
wishing you a lovely sunday

every time i write something, i can't stop worrying about the following:
1) did i phrase it right?
2) will people understand what i'm trying to convey?
and most importantly
3) will it resonate with anyone at all?
posting images is much easier, but i hope i won't go back to that format.

AND I KNONANANANANA
YOU WILLL DRIFT AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
DONT YOU DRIFT AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
DONT YOU DRIFT AWAAAAY
NO I WONT MIIIND
HERE'S TO A LOOOOOOONG LIIIIFE

it still surprises me why, in modern society, the word "clown" carries such a purely negative connotation. in an ideal world (the one in my head, at least), there would be some kind of distinction - even a conditional one - between a good clown and a bad clown. otherwise we just keep living in a world where trying to make people laugh, even if it means sacrificing your own image, is treated as something shameful or pathetic, when in reality it's fucking incredible. especially in our not-so-fun world.
so my message is: don't let dull and boring people popularise such an attitude towards this wonderful profession.