anyone knows where I can get opiums or some other sort of mind numbing drug

they’re on social media publicly saying they rather have a secular dictatorship than a religious one

I swear to fucking god if anyone brings up numerology for 18th and 19th like they did last time im gonna do something drastic

I don’t seek out anything, there is nothing that excites me or opens me up, there is no common dream, there is no promise of future, I blame everyone and everything.

FUCKKKKKK THE NOISE, WOMAN LIFE FREEDOM FOREVER

I do wonder why I should be able to get online again when thousands and thousands of people are gone and can’t say anything anymore.

I am trying to give myself and everyone the space needed to understand and articulate the magnitude of this experience. I also see a lot of people (myself included) expressing shame and feeling guilt over being alive, and even though on an ideological and logical level I agree with the people saying to fight back against this shame and to not let the enemy win, I also have to say that not only is it hard to do but also how natural it is to feel like this. This is some great collective survivor’s guilt that we’re dealing with. We feel guilt not because we are responsible for the murders, but because we can’t fully fathom why it happened and to this scale, we can not put meaning to any of this, there was no greater reason except sheer luck or the bravery of the people who died, we didn’t survive for any meaningful reason and that’s where the guilt hurts more for me. We feel like we don’t deserve life and no amount of “You do! Those murderers don’t!” can fix this. It is a period of bad feelings, terrible feelings and mourning, nothing can translate this hell into pure rage, that’s impossible. Let each other grieve, make space for these conversations, don’t let the silent abyss of death swallow the living too because we’re all hanging on by a thread right now.

living the worst worst worst days of my life and I’ve never felt more useless, alone and completely forsaken. I doubt I even exist anymore.

Leftists in all countries and all regions have “failed” iran and I don’t think asking young Iranians inside the country to take responsibility for the western leftists’ actions is of any use, there is a lot to say re: why the progressive left was supporting 401 and is now calling us all liars but I leave that for a better time when we’re not dealing with a killing machine. What is extremely bizarre is the current wave on social media that after 16 days of digital silence, the entire focus of twitter farsi and instagram and all of iran internationals’ staff is to drag an imaginary left wing party that is somehow responsible for this massacre. the same people that say asking for clarity from reza pahlavi is “playing in akhond’s field” have been spending the last 3 days turning every single conversation into left vs right, patriot vs traitor and other nonsensical regime tactics.

It doesn’t even matter if a small minority is against war, it doesn’t matter if a small group of americans go out and protest the war (if they do later on), the vietnam protests and iraq protests are mostly failures. If united states of america has a serious plan to launch missiles to a specific geographic location, they will do it because they’ve decided this is good for them in some way. No average citizens’ opinion is “halting” the war, all of this arguing and kicking and threatening is just a waste of energy that could be perhaps used elsewhere. or maybe not. maybe we are forced to live through historical events that we have no choice in. maybe this is all normal and I’m just too tired to participate in the rituals.

فقط در دو روز که اینترنت وصل شده بود ۲۰ اعدام رسمی با نام بیرون اومد. تعداد کثیری در این ۱۵ روز قطعی اتفاق افتاده و خیلی‌ها به گوش ما هم نرسیده و ممکنه تا سال‌ها نرسه. #نه_به_اعدام ابتدایی‌ترین خواست در هر جای جهانه، از نهادهایی که فعالیت در این جهت دارن بخواین که برنامه‌ای برای ایران ارائه بدن، بی‌طرف‌ها و نهاد‌های ضدجنگ هم می‌توانند کارهایی بکنن. همه‌رو درگیر کنید نه فقط یک دولت خاص رو. کمک بین‌المللی همینطوری از هوا نمیاد تو دامن آدم، در تظاهراتتون صدای ما مردم باشید، ما که دستمون از کل جهان کوتاه‌تره حداقل شما صدای ما باشید.

when the proxy channel you joined out of pure desperation starts posting warbait and fake tweets but you can’t do anything at all because this is your miserable ass life

when you’re watching iran international/shabake khabar and they start translating a long tweet in english but you can clearly see them add and subtract words and meaning as they want but you can’t do anything because this is how the world works anyways

This is, without a doubt, the darkest and most bleak times of our lives. Never before have we been forced to witness, partake and be victims of such atrocities. To be faced with the worst that humanity could offer and not be allowed to flinch. It is taking all my power to not go insane with it.

.

genuinely baffled by this rn

I lowkey get emotional everytime I think too much about Mossadegh and the world we could’ve lived in

the fact that we don’t know what they’re doing to prisoners in prisons all across the country keeps me up at night, this uselessness and helplessness is unbearable.

listening to Back from The Brink 1973-1979 again