I met an old lady once, almost one hundred years old, and she told me, “There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who’s in charge?” Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering. - Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything.

@deepthoughts2

PIZZA GUY: Your total is $26.34


ME: I can’t afford that

PIZZA GUY: Well you’ll have to pay some other way.

ME: [takes out wallet] Wait I forgot I had 30 dollars.

PORN DIRECTOR: Cut! The fuck are you doing?

@deepthoughts2

The alphabet says hi then jk.

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The best person in your life is the one who comes first in your mind after reading this sentence.

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That fear when our parents are using our phones😓😓

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The universe will send you exactly what you asked for and then send you distraction to see if your gonna fuck up what u asked for

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Cold nights and old songs ☺️☺️

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When a girl cancels a date, she cancels it because she has to.
But when a boy cancels a date, he cancels because he has two

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You don't need everyone to love you. Just a few good people

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It's better to be unknown than to be ignored

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20 years ago it was exciting to go online and talk with someone from far far away. Now it's exciting to go online and find someone who happens to live nearby.

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Things that go through my mind when a girl texts me first

- its a guy
- its my friends catfishing me
- its a trap

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Be a nice human.

Be careful of losing yourself from trying so hard to relate.

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Florida drug dealer calls 911 to report missing cocaine

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Closing your eyes after turning off the alarm is one of the most dangerous sports in the modern world.

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Friend: True love always comes back!

Me: My ex come back last week

Friend: See...

Me: To invite me for her wedding

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Respectfully disrespecting people like “እናቶትን...”

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Better act like you care before I act like I never met you

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There is headache and then there is typing in Amharic.

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