"Moose spent an embarrassingly long time today following around a teeeeeeny, tiiiiiiny frog at the soccer fields. Let’s call him Fred.
To be fair, Moose was gentle and (in his mind) gave Fred plenty of space. Fred, however, did not share that sentiment. After several awkward minutes of being stalked by a living loaf of bread, Fred snapped—and jumped directly into Moose’s face.
Now, you may be laughing at the image of a speck-of-dirt sized frog attempting to attack a 90 pound German Shepherd, because just WHAT did he think that would accomplish?! It'd be equivalent to someone flicking a pea at you from 10 feet away.
Well, maybe if I didn't own the Temu version of a German Shepherd (as far as typical character traits go)- this would be the case.
Instead, it caused Moose to yelp (yes, he yelped) and jump 5 feet backwards. Not only that, he then also refused to go back onto the concrete area for the remainder of the time we were there.
And while I can’t technically confirm this, I’m convinced that Fred the frog didn’t just leap at him—he hurled deeply personal insults mid-air. The kind that cut.
The kind that make you reevaluate your life choices.
Now, some might say “Moose can’t possibly understand frog.”
To that I say: Clearly you don’t know Moose. Apparently, neither do I.
He sacrificed all potential brainpower to become fluent in Frog, which explains why he has zero grasp of practical knowledge like “don’t eat bees” or “doorways have dimensions.”
A tragic tale of misallocated resources.
A scholar in frog dialect, a disaster in literally every other category.
Please wish him healing.
Physically? He’s fine.
Emotionally? Ruined.
*I was lucky enough to capture the exact moment the assault occured, and we will be pressing charges*" -LC
To be fair, Moose was gentle and (in his mind) gave Fred plenty of space. Fred, however, did not share that sentiment. After several awkward minutes of being stalked by a living loaf of bread, Fred snapped—and jumped directly into Moose’s face.
Now, you may be laughing at the image of a speck-of-dirt sized frog attempting to attack a 90 pound German Shepherd, because just WHAT did he think that would accomplish?! It'd be equivalent to someone flicking a pea at you from 10 feet away.
Well, maybe if I didn't own the Temu version of a German Shepherd (as far as typical character traits go)- this would be the case.
Instead, it caused Moose to yelp (yes, he yelped) and jump 5 feet backwards. Not only that, he then also refused to go back onto the concrete area for the remainder of the time we were there.
And while I can’t technically confirm this, I’m convinced that Fred the frog didn’t just leap at him—he hurled deeply personal insults mid-air. The kind that cut.
The kind that make you reevaluate your life choices.
Now, some might say “Moose can’t possibly understand frog.”
To that I say: Clearly you don’t know Moose. Apparently, neither do I.
He sacrificed all potential brainpower to become fluent in Frog, which explains why he has zero grasp of practical knowledge like “don’t eat bees” or “doorways have dimensions.”
A tragic tale of misallocated resources.
A scholar in frog dialect, a disaster in literally every other category.
Please wish him healing.
Physically? He’s fine.
Emotionally? Ruined.
*I was lucky enough to capture the exact moment the assault occured, and we will be pressing charges*" -LC
🥰6❤5
"Dr. Joseph Dituri, a retired naval officer and biomedical engineer, made history by living underwater for 93 days in Jules' Undersea Lodge near Key Largo, Florida. This mission, part of an experiment called Project Neptune 100, broke the previous record of 73 days for underwater living. Dr. Dituri’s goal was to study how living in a high-pressure underwater environment affects the human body.
During his time underwater, he experienced increased atmospheric pressure, which surprisingly led to several health improvements. After resurfacing, doctors found that his telomeres—parts of our DNA that usually shrink with age—had grown 20% longer, hinting at a reversal of aging at the cellular level. His stem cell count also rose, which helps the body heal and grow new tissues. His cholesterol levels dropped by 72 points, and inflammation in his body decreased significantly.
Another big improvement was in his sleep. Dr. Dituri spent 60 to 66 percent of his nights in deep REM sleep, which is essential for healing and mental health. Though more studies are needed, this unique underwater journey shows promising results for health, aging, and future medical treatments using pressure-based environments."
During his time underwater, he experienced increased atmospheric pressure, which surprisingly led to several health improvements. After resurfacing, doctors found that his telomeres—parts of our DNA that usually shrink with age—had grown 20% longer, hinting at a reversal of aging at the cellular level. His stem cell count also rose, which helps the body heal and grow new tissues. His cholesterol levels dropped by 72 points, and inflammation in his body decreased significantly.
Another big improvement was in his sleep. Dr. Dituri spent 60 to 66 percent of his nights in deep REM sleep, which is essential for healing and mental health. Though more studies are needed, this unique underwater journey shows promising results for health, aging, and future medical treatments using pressure-based environments."
❤8