All I want for Christmas is a violent revolution to overthrow the bourgeoisie!

"On the atomic level there is no different between lying on your back and standing up, so if you think about it like that...uh...it was a tie."

"I choose to accept my punishment, because I lived under the laws so I must honour those laws to the letter, even if they are really, really stupid..."

The original answer "a man", because he crawls as a baby, walks as an adult, and uses a cane as an old man makes it, in my opinion, a very suspect riddle. Seems like pretty loose thinking at best, some philosophers might actually help on that one.

"Second question: is it ethical for a student to disrupt class discussion with political grandstanding?"

Simone Weil thought that all ethics, and even all religions, ultimately amounted to the same thing once they were properly understood. She pointed out that there were certain similarities between every moral system history. For example, every religious and moral system has always said that if a rich man walks by a poor and starving man, he is obligating to give him money and food. Another interesting one is that every moral system agrees that people in power should be punished for moral digressions more than people without power and responsibility. For example, more or less everyone agrees that a coach should be punished for cheating more than a player, because they have more power and authority, so their cheating is a higher level of corruption.
Weirdly, when we look at actual societies, these universally agreed upon moral rules have never been applied. For example, in every society there have been rich men and staving poor who go unhelped. In every society the rich and powerful get away with crimes far more than the powerless masses. Why the disconnect? It's almost enough to make you think society is not organized around moral principles.

Also though happiness itself leads to despair, so watch out for that.

The Ancient Stoics all more or less agreed that you should live a life devoted to virtue and civic duty, and yet mysteriously this part of it seems to get cut out of 98% of Stoic Gurus today.