Also...we should probably ban philosophers that disagree with us, right? I mean we already have it figured out, so that can only cause problems."

Yes, under communism, you won't have to degrade yourself to the rich to beg for a job. You will, however, have to still get along with the other workers, so it will be no paradise.

"Should I kill myself or have a slap fight with Sartre? In the end one needs more courage to get in petty feuds than to kill himself."

Thales, after looking around and seeing how many things aren't water: "god damnit."

Academic Philosophers: "actually we don't like most of that stuff either, it's more of an unfortunate side affect of the work we do trying to figure out if chairs exist or not."

"Just because every girl I've ever witnessed in the past has preferred Camus to me, doesn't mean they will in the future!"