Breaking News: Penguins of Heard and McDonald Islands Declare War on USA, Seals Join Coalition; Video Showcases Military Might and Anthem

In a stunning development from the Southern Hemisphere, the penguins of Heard and McDonald Islands have declared war on the United States, citing “unjust tariffs” imposed by former President Donald Trump, whom they refer to as “the Orange Man.”
The dramatic announcement was accompanied by a video showcasing the penguin military in full force—marching in tight formation, manning iceberg-based artillery, and performing their newly released anthem, March of the Frozen Beak.
But the situation has grown even more serious: seals have officially joined the conflict, forming what penguin leaders call the Cold Pact. The seals, known for aquatic agility and sub-zero stealth tactics, bring significant strategic weight to the coalition. Early footage shows joint penguin-seal training exercises and a chilling warning to “expect flipper-based retaliation.”
Washington has yet to respond.

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