You may think you're unlovable and unworthy of anything in this moment but the truth is it's just December again and your shoulders are heavy with the weight of all the losses and heartbreaks that your soul had to go through ever since you turned 12.

"The Knight of the Holy Grail"
By Frederick Judd Waugh (1861-1940)
Genre: literary painting (illustration of The Idylls of the King by Alfred, Lord Tennyson)
#art_history

What do you mean all my problems can't be solved by cleaving things in twain with an ancient mighty blade.
You're sounding awful cleavable right now.

Me and gang at the function

I'm bored I need women to perform experiments on me

“you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick”

i didn’t get this until someone put it into words. i’d never understand why i always felt better when i locked myself alone in my room rather than spending time with my toxic family. i never understood why i was bubbly and outgoing when i was with my friends but my energy was immediately drained the second i got home. i didn’t understand why regardless of the effort i put into healing i would keep getting triggered by people in my family. i never understood it until i read that sentence and it all just clicked. i can’t heal in an environment where the people are benefiting from my suffering. where the people don’t want to change the behaviour which affects me negatively.

The Dream of Faust" by August von Kreling(1818-1876)
#art_history

bpd is so fucking weird and confusing
Yesterday i was convinced i would never go back home, today im making pasta