📝 A common mistake in writing 📝
Here is a piece of a student's writing. Try to notice what is off.
📝 "Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If a person is curious, he or she is eager to listen to another person and support them."
The problem is the inconsistency in subjects / objects / agents. I'll put them in bold for you to notice:
📝 "Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If a person is curious, he or she is eager to listen to another person and support them."
How can we change that?
1️⃣ The simplest solution is to use "you" everywhere:
"Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in yourself. If you are curious, you are eager to listen to another person and support them."
Now the piece is beautifully consistent, but what if we can't use "you" because of the register? It is on the informal side after all.
2️⃣ The solution many people suggest immediately is using "one" throughout:
"Being genuinely interested in people around one is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If one is curious, one is eager to listen to another person and support them."
But now the piece is awkward and too formal. Is there a better solution?
3️⃣ The best solution is to get rid of some if the pronouns at all - not with the help of synonyms though. Look:
"Being genuinely interested in those around is actually more important in communication than being self-centered and self-absorbed. A curious person is eager to listen to others and support them."
The third solution is by far the most elegant. Mind your consistency and see if you really need all those "you/one/people/person."
Here is a piece of a student's writing. Try to notice what is off.
📝 "Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If a person is curious, he or she is eager to listen to another person and support them."
The problem is the inconsistency in subjects / objects / agents. I'll put them in bold for you to notice:
📝 "Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If a person is curious, he or she is eager to listen to another person and support them."
How can we change that?
1️⃣ The simplest solution is to use "you" everywhere:
"Being genuinely interested in people around you is actually more important in communication than being interested in yourself. If you are curious, you are eager to listen to another person and support them."
Now the piece is beautifully consistent, but what if we can't use "you" because of the register? It is on the informal side after all.
2️⃣ The solution many people suggest immediately is using "one" throughout:
"Being genuinely interested in people around one is actually more important in communication than being interested in oneself. If one is curious, one is eager to listen to another person and support them."
But now the piece is awkward and too formal. Is there a better solution?
3️⃣ The best solution is to get rid of some if the pronouns at all - not with the help of synonyms though. Look:
"Being genuinely interested in those around is actually more important in communication than being self-centered and self-absorbed. A curious person is eager to listen to others and support them."
The third solution is by far the most elegant. Mind your consistency and see if you really need all those "you/one/people/person."
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📈 A glimpse of my IELTS Writing class today 📈
Another example of an inconsistency. Can you notice it?
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17 and 16 thousand respectively. Only thirty five hundred of students did voluntary work."
This time it's an inconsistency in writing numbers. I'll put them in bold for convenience:
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17 and 16 thousand respectively. Only thirty five hundred of students did voluntary work."
This inconsistency makes it harder for the reader to process the information. Just stick to the simplest way - just write the data in digits:
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17,000 and 16,000 respectively. Only 3,500 students did voluntary work."
Btw, in English thousands are set off by commas! Make sure you write the figures correctly:
✅ 29,665
❌ 29665
❌ 29.665
Writing the thousands incorrectly can create confusion: without a comma, there are too many digits glued together, while a period (correction: a point) looks like a decimal separator.
Another example of an inconsistency. Can you notice it?
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17 and 16 thousand respectively. Only thirty five hundred of students did voluntary work."
This time it's an inconsistency in writing numbers. I'll put them in bold for convenience:
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17 and 16 thousand respectively. Only thirty five hundred of students did voluntary work."
This inconsistency makes it harder for the reader to process the information. Just stick to the simplest way - just write the data in digits:
🗒 "The largest number of graduate students continued their studies (29,665). This number is almost twice as high as that for people who chose to do part-time work and those who stayed unemployed, with around 17,000 and 16,000 respectively. Only 3,500 students did voluntary work."
Btw, in English thousands are set off by commas! Make sure you write the figures correctly:
✅ 29,665
❌ 29665
❌ 29.665
Writing the thousands incorrectly can create confusion: without a comma, there are too many digits glued together, while a period (correction: a point) looks like a decimal separator.
👏11❤1
📈 A glimpse of my IELTS Writing class today: hedging 📈
Whenever I talk about hedging in #IELTS, I think about the proverb "Give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves" because students often overuse it.
Hedging is words like "might" or "to some extent." It is used to express uncertainty, probability, caution. It's very common in academic writing. And whenever the students hear this, they start using hedging everywhere - they want to sound academic after all.
But not everything needs to be hedged because not all things in academic essays are uncertain, probable, and cautious. For example, you won't say: "IELTS might be an international test to some extent" or "People who are 16 might be prohibited from buying alcohol in Russia." These are just facts and should be expressed directly: "IELTS is an international test" and "People who are 16 are prohibited ... ."
I am going to give you three pairs of sentences which are not hedged. However, one sentence in each pair should be hedged. Which one?❓
1. Certain genes make people impulsive and aggressive.
2. Genetic causes make people commit crime.
3. Women are physically weaker than men.
4. Women are not as successful in police jobs as men.
5. Punishment is the best way to modify behavior.
6. Punishment is effective at modifying behavior.
KEY:
❌ 2. Genetic causes make people commit crime.
✅ 2. Genetic causes might make some people commit crime.
❌ 4. Women are not as successful in police jobs as men.
✅ 4. Women might not be as successful in police jobs as men.
❌ 5. Punishment is the best way to modify behavior.
✅ 5. Punishment might be / is believed to be / seems to be the best way to modify behavior.
Do use hedging, but don't hedge facts. Use it to leave space for alternative opinions or cases, not just because it sounds academic.
Whenever I talk about hedging in #IELTS, I think about the proverb "Give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves" because students often overuse it.
Hedging is words like "might" or "to some extent." It is used to express uncertainty, probability, caution. It's very common in academic writing. And whenever the students hear this, they start using hedging everywhere - they want to sound academic after all.
But not everything needs to be hedged because not all things in academic essays are uncertain, probable, and cautious. For example, you won't say: "IELTS might be an international test to some extent" or "People who are 16 might be prohibited from buying alcohol in Russia." These are just facts and should be expressed directly: "IELTS is an international test" and "People who are 16 are prohibited ... ."
I am going to give you three pairs of sentences which are not hedged. However, one sentence in each pair should be hedged. Which one?❓
1. Certain genes make people impulsive and aggressive.
2. Genetic causes make people commit crime.
3. Women are physically weaker than men.
4. Women are not as successful in police jobs as men.
5. Punishment is the best way to modify behavior.
6. Punishment is effective at modifying behavior.
KEY:
❌ 2. Genetic causes make people commit crime.
✅ 2. Genetic causes might make some people commit crime.
❌ 4. Women are not as successful in police jobs as men.
✅ 4. Women might not be as successful in police jobs as men.
❌ 5. Punishment is the best way to modify behavior.
✅ 5. Punishment might be / is believed to be / seems to be the best way to modify behavior.
Do use hedging, but don't hedge facts. Use it to leave space for alternative opinions or cases, not just because it sounds academic.
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📝 A glimpse of my "Writing with New Scientist" class: a paragraph makeover 📝
Have a look at a paragraph written by a student and try to guess what I asked the student to change.
🗒 Topic: "Curiosity can be a boon or a bane. Do you think the advantages of curiosity outweigh the disadvantages?"
🗒 Original:
"The benefits of curiosity are by far greater than its drawbacks as it pushes people to explore the world and is, therefore, the driving force behind development. It is curiosity that makes babies scan their immediate environment and try to reach the objects they are interested in, thus helping them to learn to crawl and walk. It is the same powerful desire to know more about the world that makes children ask numerous questions and develop their minds. In adulthood it is the same force that makes people seek answers to yet more profound questions about how the world functions and, as a result, enables them to contribute to the development of medicine, sciences and arts. All in all, it is curiosity that lies at the heart of all discoveries and stimulates progress at both individual and society level, thus determining the sheer existence of mankind."
🗒 My comment: I would appreciate the parallel “it is” in more creative genres, but not in an IELTS essay. Such repetitions are a valid stylistic device (one of my favorite), but they have no place in essays.
🗒 Student's rewrite:
"The benefits of curiosity are by far greater than its drawbacks as it pushes people to explore the world and is, therefore, the driving force behind development. It's the same powerful desire to know more about the world that makes babies learn to crawl, encourages children to develop their minds by asking questions and pushes adults to contribute to the development of science and arts. All in all, curiosity lies at the heart of all discoveries and stimulates progress at both individual and society level, thus determining the sheer existence of humankind. "
The paragraph is now more academic and more concise. 💛
Have a look at a paragraph written by a student and try to guess what I asked the student to change.
🗒 Topic: "Curiosity can be a boon or a bane. Do you think the advantages of curiosity outweigh the disadvantages?"
🗒 Original:
"The benefits of curiosity are by far greater than its drawbacks as it pushes people to explore the world and is, therefore, the driving force behind development. It is curiosity that makes babies scan their immediate environment and try to reach the objects they are interested in, thus helping them to learn to crawl and walk. It is the same powerful desire to know more about the world that makes children ask numerous questions and develop their minds. In adulthood it is the same force that makes people seek answers to yet more profound questions about how the world functions and, as a result, enables them to contribute to the development of medicine, sciences and arts. All in all, it is curiosity that lies at the heart of all discoveries and stimulates progress at both individual and society level, thus determining the sheer existence of mankind."
🗒 My comment: I would appreciate the parallel “it is” in more creative genres, but not in an IELTS essay. Such repetitions are a valid stylistic device (one of my favorite), but they have no place in essays.
🗒 Student's rewrite:
"The benefits of curiosity are by far greater than its drawbacks as it pushes people to explore the world and is, therefore, the driving force behind development. It's the same powerful desire to know more about the world that makes babies learn to crawl, encourages children to develop their minds by asking questions and pushes adults to contribute to the development of science and arts. All in all, curiosity lies at the heart of all discoveries and stimulates progress at both individual and society level, thus determining the sheer existence of humankind. "
The paragraph is now more academic and more concise. 💛
🔥9❤5👏4
🦩 A glimpse of my "Writing with New Scientist" class: inversion 🦩
"In your essay, use inversion," said Irina never... until she did. Today.
I have developed a bit of a distaste for inversion. I blow a raspberry every time I see. "Not only... ." Russian people, especially teachers, misuse inversion. And they do so in two ways: 1) They use it for grammar only, with total disregard for the emphatic meaning; 2) They misplace the pesky "also." But let's put the first way aside for today. Let's turn our attention to "also."
Today, I gave my students the following three sentences and asked them to join the last two. Try your hand at it too before you continue reading.
📝 "Unfortunately, doing human caloric-restriction experiments is extremely difficult. First, people find it very hard to halve their energy intake for more than a few days at a time. Second, the experiment would also have to run for many years to assess whether it had any life-extending effect."
📝 And of course, I got this: "Not only is it very hard to halve their energy intake for more than a few days at a time, but also the experiment would have to run for many years to assess whether it had any life-extending effect."
But the pesky "also" does not go right after "but" - it goes before the main verb or after the verb "to be": "... , but the experiment would also have to ... ."
More examples:
- Not only do people work in jobs they hate, but they also earn peanuts.
- By trying to achieve their goals, not only can people avoid these negative consequences, but they can also fulfill their dreams and increase their overall well-being.
- Not only is this unethical, but it is also illegal in some countries.
OK, this takes care of one common mistake with inversion. But I'm not done with this grammar structure - I'll move one step at a time. 🦩
"In your essay, use inversion," said Irina never... until she did. Today.
I have developed a bit of a distaste for inversion. I blow a raspberry every time I see. "Not only... ." Russian people, especially teachers, misuse inversion. And they do so in two ways: 1) They use it for grammar only, with total disregard for the emphatic meaning; 2) They misplace the pesky "also." But let's put the first way aside for today. Let's turn our attention to "also."
Today, I gave my students the following three sentences and asked them to join the last two. Try your hand at it too before you continue reading.
📝 "Unfortunately, doing human caloric-restriction experiments is extremely difficult. First, people find it very hard to halve their energy intake for more than a few days at a time. Second, the experiment would also have to run for many years to assess whether it had any life-extending effect."
📝 And of course, I got this: "Not only is it very hard to halve their energy intake for more than a few days at a time, but also the experiment would have to run for many years to assess whether it had any life-extending effect."
But the pesky "also" does not go right after "but" - it goes before the main verb or after the verb "to be": "... , but the experiment would also have to ... ."
More examples:
- Not only do people work in jobs they hate, but they also earn peanuts.
- By trying to achieve their goals, not only can people avoid these negative consequences, but they can also fulfill their dreams and increase their overall well-being.
- Not only is this unethical, but it is also illegal in some countries.
OK, this takes care of one common mistake with inversion. But I'm not done with this grammar structure - I'll move one step at a time. 🦩
🔥16❤2👏1👻1
📝 How real are the solutions in your essay? 📝
When I check essays that that involve coming up with solutions (e.g. questions like, "How can this be addressed? How can this problem be solved? How can the effects of this be mitigated?"), I see the same problem - the solutions are not real solutions in that it's not clear who will be implementing them and how.
Have a look at one paragraph written by a student (mildly edited by me for conciseness) and try to assess it from this point of view - are the solutions real solutions?❓
🗒 Topic: mitigating the effects of fast fashion on the environment
🗒 "There are several ways this can be achieved. Opting for better-quality garments, for example, could essentially decrease the amount of clothes that are dumped and the fashion's environmental destructiveness on the whole. Breaking the linear model and choosing a more circular one is another way out, allowing to give clothes a second life and a chance for reuse. This means that recycling technology is to be improved, on the one hand, while some fibres are to be sacrificed due to their complicated recycling process, on the other. ... "
The ideas are valid, but we don't see who will be implementing them and how. Btw, did you notice that the paragraph doesn't have a single "doer"? The "doers" in this specific essay could be consumers, fashion companies, governments.
Let's scrutinize the first sentence and try to brainstorm for more specific ideas.
🗒 "Opting for better-quality garments, for example, could essentially decrease the amount of clothes that are dumped and the fashion's environmental destructiveness on the whole."
Who will be doing that? OK, consumers. But why aren't they doing that now? Better-quality garments are more expensive. Then maybe shops/brands can give out discount coupons for old clothes brought for recycling. Or maybe consumers will want to buy more expensive items after they find out what impact fast fashion has on the environment. How will they find that out? From documentaries or social media or even classes at school - this can be implemented by journalists and schools, possibly subsidized by governments or even fashion companies themselves.
This is the thinking process that will help you find solutions that will sound specific and that can actually be implemented.
Because... if solutions like "sustainability should be pursued" or "children should be provided with good education" or "poor people should be provided with governmental support" worked, we wouldn't have any problems at all.
So make sure your solutions don't sound vague and the reader can clearly see who will be implementing them and how.
When I check essays that that involve coming up with solutions (e.g. questions like, "How can this be addressed? How can this problem be solved? How can the effects of this be mitigated?"), I see the same problem - the solutions are not real solutions in that it's not clear who will be implementing them and how.
Have a look at one paragraph written by a student (mildly edited by me for conciseness) and try to assess it from this point of view - are the solutions real solutions?❓
🗒 Topic: mitigating the effects of fast fashion on the environment
🗒 "There are several ways this can be achieved. Opting for better-quality garments, for example, could essentially decrease the amount of clothes that are dumped and the fashion's environmental destructiveness on the whole. Breaking the linear model and choosing a more circular one is another way out, allowing to give clothes a second life and a chance for reuse. This means that recycling technology is to be improved, on the one hand, while some fibres are to be sacrificed due to their complicated recycling process, on the other. ... "
The ideas are valid, but we don't see who will be implementing them and how. Btw, did you notice that the paragraph doesn't have a single "doer"? The "doers" in this specific essay could be consumers, fashion companies, governments.
Let's scrutinize the first sentence and try to brainstorm for more specific ideas.
🗒 "Opting for better-quality garments, for example, could essentially decrease the amount of clothes that are dumped and the fashion's environmental destructiveness on the whole."
Who will be doing that? OK, consumers. But why aren't they doing that now? Better-quality garments are more expensive. Then maybe shops/brands can give out discount coupons for old clothes brought for recycling. Or maybe consumers will want to buy more expensive items after they find out what impact fast fashion has on the environment. How will they find that out? From documentaries or social media or even classes at school - this can be implemented by journalists and schools, possibly subsidized by governments or even fashion companies themselves.
This is the thinking process that will help you find solutions that will sound specific and that can actually be implemented.
Because... if solutions like "sustainability should be pursued" or "children should be provided with good education" or "poor people should be provided with governmental support" worked, we wouldn't have any problems at all.
So make sure your solutions don't sound vague and the reader can clearly see who will be implementing them and how.
👏11❤5🔥3
Have you signed up for the December run of my short but epic mini-course "Teaching IELTS writing"? Do so asap.
💃 Session 1: Writing Task 1
- The panoply of types
- What to teach for each
- Assessment criteria
- Sample answers for different scores (including answers written by me)
💃 Session 2: Writing Task 2
- Garden-variety essay questions
- The structure of any essay
- Understanding and developing the topic
- Assessment criteria
- Common mistakes
- Sample answers for different scores (including answers written by me)
💃 Session 3: Making the most of IELTS model answers (both W1 and W2).
Giving students IELTS model answers is certainly a great idea, but you can't just hand them the answers and say, "Look. These are good. Do the same thing." You need to make sure the model answers help your student develop their skills. In this session, I'll share a whole host of meaningful activities you can do with model answers. Each activity is aimed at a certain goal and will help you work on all four assessment criteria. All the activities are based on answers written by me, most of which you will get after the session.
💃 A little bit about IELTS and me:
- IELTS prep experience: over 10 years;
- IELTS taken: three times (academic);
- Scores: 8.5, 8.5, and finally 9;
- Writing score: 8.5 (two times!);
- I don't have any lifehacks, but I do have a profound understanding of the exam (and hundreds of checked essays).
There will be no recordings, but you will get the pdfs of the presentations and the sample answers.
Why don't I record my sessions?
If I decided to make a recording, I would have to ask you to mute yourself and switch off your video, or you would want to do that yourself. But I encourage interaction and questions. I don't want to be a talking head - I want to be the person who answers your questions and addresses your concerns right here and now. This is how I can be of most help.
📌 Price:
- 4000 ₽ for all three sessions.
- 1500 ₽ for one session.
📅 December 2022:
Monday 12, 19 December, 14:00-15:30 MSK - Sessions 1 and 2
Saturday 17 December 12:00-13:30 MSK - Session 3
Find some feedback on the course in the comment section to the attached product and message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5648169%2Fquery
💃 Session 1: Writing Task 1
- The panoply of types
- What to teach for each
- Assessment criteria
- Sample answers for different scores (including answers written by me)
💃 Session 2: Writing Task 2
- Garden-variety essay questions
- The structure of any essay
- Understanding and developing the topic
- Assessment criteria
- Common mistakes
- Sample answers for different scores (including answers written by me)
💃 Session 3: Making the most of IELTS model answers (both W1 and W2).
Giving students IELTS model answers is certainly a great idea, but you can't just hand them the answers and say, "Look. These are good. Do the same thing." You need to make sure the model answers help your student develop their skills. In this session, I'll share a whole host of meaningful activities you can do with model answers. Each activity is aimed at a certain goal and will help you work on all four assessment criteria. All the activities are based on answers written by me, most of which you will get after the session.
💃 A little bit about IELTS and me:
- IELTS prep experience: over 10 years;
- IELTS taken: three times (academic);
- Scores: 8.5, 8.5, and finally 9;
- Writing score: 8.5 (two times!);
- I don't have any lifehacks, but I do have a profound understanding of the exam (and hundreds of checked essays).
There will be no recordings, but you will get the pdfs of the presentations and the sample answers.
Why don't I record my sessions?
If I decided to make a recording, I would have to ask you to mute yourself and switch off your video, or you would want to do that yourself. But I encourage interaction and questions. I don't want to be a talking head - I want to be the person who answers your questions and addresses your concerns right here and now. This is how I can be of most help.
📌 Price:
- 4000 ₽ for all three sessions.
- 1500 ₽ for one session.
📅 December 2022:
Monday 12, 19 December, 14:00-15:30 MSK - Sessions 1 and 2
Saturday 17 December 12:00-13:30 MSK - Session 3
Find some feedback on the course in the comment section to the attached product and message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5648169%2Fquery
❤4🔥1
A glimpse of my "Writing with New Scientist" class: a case of improved cohesion 👩🎓
Sometimes cohesion is about simply changing the order of your clauses. Let's take a look at one such case.
🗒 Topic: Different ages come with different strengths and weaknesses. Some people therefore believe certain jobs and activities should be restricted to certain ages. Others, however, insist that all jobs and all activities should be open to everyone regardless of their age. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
🗒 The beginning of the first body paragraph written by a student:
"Some jobs and activities require specific skills or physical strength, which people often lack at a particular age, and consequently restrictions seem to be essential. It is supposed that elderly specialists, for example those over over 70 years old, can be frail or absent-minded to work in such demanding jobs as police officers or surgeons."
Which clause would you put in a different place?
🗒 My re-write:
"Restrictions might be essential in some jobs and activities that require specific skills or physical strength, which people often lack at a particular age. For example, specialists who are over 70 years old can be too frail or absent-minded to work in such demanding jobs as police officers or surgeons."
Why is my version more cohesive?
1) Placing "restrictions" at the beginning makes the introduction smoother as this is something we already know from the topic;
2) In my version, "particular age" and "specialists who are over 70" are situated closer to each other, which also enhances cohesion.
What do you think?❓
Sometimes cohesion is about simply changing the order of your clauses. Let's take a look at one such case.
🗒 Topic: Different ages come with different strengths and weaknesses. Some people therefore believe certain jobs and activities should be restricted to certain ages. Others, however, insist that all jobs and all activities should be open to everyone regardless of their age. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
🗒 The beginning of the first body paragraph written by a student:
"Some jobs and activities require specific skills or physical strength, which people often lack at a particular age, and consequently restrictions seem to be essential. It is supposed that elderly specialists, for example those over over 70 years old, can be frail or absent-minded to work in such demanding jobs as police officers or surgeons."
Which clause would you put in a different place?
🗒 My re-write:
"Restrictions might be essential in some jobs and activities that require specific skills or physical strength, which people often lack at a particular age. For example, specialists who are over 70 years old can be too frail or absent-minded to work in such demanding jobs as police officers or surgeons."
Why is my version more cohesive?
1) Placing "restrictions" at the beginning makes the introduction smoother as this is something we already know from the topic;
2) In my version, "particular age" and "specialists who are over 70" are situated closer to each other, which also enhances cohesion.
What do you think?❓
🔥9👏4
A glimpse of my "Writing with New Scientist" class: sentence clinic 📝
Take a look at this sentence written by a student. It's technically correct, but in what way is it flawed?
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations and even bans on junk food commercials in mass media and on billboards to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of fast food and snacks, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
Well, students said it's lengthy. But why is it lengthy? Because it has four "and"s!
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations and even bans on junk food commercials in mass media and on billboards to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of fast food and snacks, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
What is wrong with the "and"s though? Well, they add some parts that are unnecessary, complicating the sentence without good reason.
My re-write:
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations or even bans on junk food advertising to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of such food, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
One "and" was replaced with "or" for emphasis. Two were cut out entirely as they didn't add meaning. Only one remained. Isn't the sentence more beautiful now? 💜
Take a look at this sentence written by a student. It's technically correct, but in what way is it flawed?
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations and even bans on junk food commercials in mass media and on billboards to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of fast food and snacks, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
Well, students said it's lengthy. But why is it lengthy? Because it has four "and"s!
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations and even bans on junk food commercials in mass media and on billboards to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of fast food and snacks, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
What is wrong with the "and"s though? Well, they add some parts that are unnecessary, complicating the sentence without good reason.
My re-write:
🗒 "The second strategy is introducing stringent regulations or even bans on junk food advertising to cut the time people are exposed to mouth-watering images of such food, mostly unrealistic and crafted specifically to lure people into buying the products."
One "and" was replaced with "or" for emphasis. Two were cut out entirely as they didn't add meaning. Only one remained. Isn't the sentence more beautiful now? 💜
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A glimpse of my "Writing with New Scientist" class: a superb piece of text 💙
"This argument is developed superbly," says Irinanever rarely.
Today, rather than sharing a bad piece of writing, I want to share a superb example. The idea in the piece below is developed so well that I didn't have a single question or comment about it (which happens very rarely).
🗒 Question: Why do people keep eating food that is unhealthy?
🗒 Student's paragraph - as is, without a single edit on my part:
"There are two major reasons for this. The first is that many products these days are created in such a way that they are highly addictive. Manufacturers, for whom it is lucrative to stimulate an immoderate consumption of their products, purposefully use sugar and taste-enhancing food additives to trigger the reward system in the human brain and get it hooked on instant gratification. As a result, finding it onerous to fight the cravings for sugar- and additives-rich food people prioritise the immediate pleasure over the long term benefits of a healthy diet as it brings a brief bout of happiness and decreases stress."
Well, I said I didn't have a single comment about the idea development, but I do have a comment on cohesion. Did you spot the unclear referencing? It's the last "it" in the last sentence - it seems to refer to "a healthy diet." How would you fix it?❓
Anyways, cohesion aside, this is a superb piece. 💙
"This argument is developed superbly," says Irina
Today, rather than sharing a bad piece of writing, I want to share a superb example. The idea in the piece below is developed so well that I didn't have a single question or comment about it (which happens very rarely).
🗒 Question: Why do people keep eating food that is unhealthy?
🗒 Student's paragraph - as is, without a single edit on my part:
"There are two major reasons for this. The first is that many products these days are created in such a way that they are highly addictive. Manufacturers, for whom it is lucrative to stimulate an immoderate consumption of their products, purposefully use sugar and taste-enhancing food additives to trigger the reward system in the human brain and get it hooked on instant gratification. As a result, finding it onerous to fight the cravings for sugar- and additives-rich food people prioritise the immediate pleasure over the long term benefits of a healthy diet as it brings a brief bout of happiness and decreases stress."
Well, I said I didn't have a single comment about the idea development, but I do have a comment on cohesion. Did you spot the unclear referencing? It's the last "it" in the last sentence - it seems to refer to "a healthy diet." How would you fix it?❓
Anyways, cohesion aside, this is a superb piece. 💙
❤11🔥3👏2
👻 VK Donut VS Boosty 👻
I know that many of you would love to read my #IELTS writing answers. Well, I share them on two subnoscription services - VK Donut and on Boosty. How are they different and which one should you choose?
1️⃣ Some people feel uncomfortable using their bank card details on VK. Some people don't have a VK profile or a Russian bank card at all. This is something to take into account.
2️⃣ If you do have a VK profile, you probably spend a lot of time on VK anyway - so it will be easier for you to notice and react to content. Boosty needs a separate account, which I personally have to log in to on purpose. This means I spend less time there and might react less quickly to comments.
3️⃣ VK doesn't have subnoscription tiers - everything is available to every subscriber. On the one hand, it seems better as you have access to more, but on the other hand, it might be overwhelming - you might have to sift though a lot of content to find what you need.
4️⃣ Navigation is much more convenient on Boosty. You can use tags to find specific types of tasks. E.g. "writing task 1" - and you get all of those. Or "IELTS 17" and you get all of those. Or "agree/disagree" and you get all my "agree/disagree" essays. Navigation is much less convenient on VK Donut.
5️⃣ I started VK Donut earlier, so it has more content - 81 posts as of today. Boosty has fewer posts now, but I will be uploading more and more regularly. So again, on the one hand, it might seem that VK it's better because it has more, but on the other hand, if you want to find an older post, you will have to scroll down to one year ago, which might be annoying and overwhelming.
Generally, it's hard to say which is better. As an author, l'm leaning towards Boosty, but it's not without weaknesses. VK is minimalistic and ubiquitous, which might be its advantage.
👻 Links:
- VK Donut https://vk.com/donut/iralutse
- Boosty https://boosty.to/irinalutsenko
- I also have an IELTS 17 pdf pack - all my answers for IELTS 17 https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5966142%2Fquery
I know that many of you would love to read my #IELTS writing answers. Well, I share them on two subnoscription services - VK Donut and on Boosty. How are they different and which one should you choose?
1️⃣ Some people feel uncomfortable using their bank card details on VK. Some people don't have a VK profile or a Russian bank card at all. This is something to take into account.
2️⃣ If you do have a VK profile, you probably spend a lot of time on VK anyway - so it will be easier for you to notice and react to content. Boosty needs a separate account, which I personally have to log in to on purpose. This means I spend less time there and might react less quickly to comments.
3️⃣ VK doesn't have subnoscription tiers - everything is available to every subscriber. On the one hand, it seems better as you have access to more, but on the other hand, it might be overwhelming - you might have to sift though a lot of content to find what you need.
4️⃣ Navigation is much more convenient on Boosty. You can use tags to find specific types of tasks. E.g. "writing task 1" - and you get all of those. Or "IELTS 17" and you get all of those. Or "agree/disagree" and you get all my "agree/disagree" essays. Navigation is much less convenient on VK Donut.
5️⃣ I started VK Donut earlier, so it has more content - 81 posts as of today. Boosty has fewer posts now, but I will be uploading more and more regularly. So again, on the one hand, it might seem that VK it's better because it has more, but on the other hand, if you want to find an older post, you will have to scroll down to one year ago, which might be annoying and overwhelming.
Generally, it's hard to say which is better. As an author, l'm leaning towards Boosty, but it's not without weaknesses. VK is minimalistic and ubiquitous, which might be its advantage.
👻 Links:
- VK Donut https://vk.com/donut/iralutse
- Boosty https://boosty.to/irinalutsenko
- I also have an IELTS 17 pdf pack - all my answers for IELTS 17 https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5966142%2Fquery
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I got two great IELTS questions in my "Teaching IELTS writing" mini-course and thought it would be a crime not to share my answers with everyone.
1️⃣ "Does IELTS writing have sensitive topics? For example, here is a topic a student got in their IELTS exam last week. "Many TV channels show more men's sports than women's. Why is this? Should TV channels allocate equal time for both men's and women's sport?"
No, IELTS doesn't have sensitive topics. And the topic above is not sensitive. Not everything that involves women and/or men is sensitive.
IELTS has more topics about men and women. For example,
- "There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work?"
- "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
These are not sensitive topics, are they?
2️⃣ "My student was asked a very abstract philosophical question in his speaking test - about living in the world without a monetary system. Is that ok? How common is that?"
I'd say being asked a very abstract philosophical question is a good sign. Such questions typically mean that the examiner sees potential and is probing for a higher score. So philosophical questions are nothing to worry about. Besides, they don's really have a right or wrong answer. So just speculating is fine. Personally, I'd actually be worried and suspicious if I was only asked a bunch of simple questions. But there is an important caveat: there is always a possibility of a student misunderstanding the question or remembering it wrong.
Do you have an IELTS question? If it's a great one - one that many will benefit from - I will answer on my social media. Drop me a line to ask. 💌
Next "Teaching IELTS writing" dates: 16, 23, 30 January. 📅
https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5648169%2Fquery
1️⃣ "Does IELTS writing have sensitive topics? For example, here is a topic a student got in their IELTS exam last week. "Many TV channels show more men's sports than women's. Why is this? Should TV channels allocate equal time for both men's and women's sport?"
No, IELTS doesn't have sensitive topics. And the topic above is not sensitive. Not everything that involves women and/or men is sensitive.
IELTS has more topics about men and women. For example,
- "There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work?"
- "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
These are not sensitive topics, are they?
2️⃣ "My student was asked a very abstract philosophical question in his speaking test - about living in the world without a monetary system. Is that ok? How common is that?"
I'd say being asked a very abstract philosophical question is a good sign. Such questions typically mean that the examiner sees potential and is probing for a higher score. So philosophical questions are nothing to worry about. Besides, they don's really have a right or wrong answer. So just speculating is fine. Personally, I'd actually be worried and suspicious if I was only asked a bunch of simple questions. But there is an important caveat: there is always a possibility of a student misunderstanding the question or remembering it wrong.
Do you have an IELTS question? If it's a great one - one that many will benefit from - I will answer on my social media. Drop me a line to ask. 💌
Next "Teaching IELTS writing" dates: 16, 23, 30 January. 📅
https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_5648169%2Fquery
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📝 IELTS Writing: a paragraph makeover 📝
Topic: "Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
Here is the student's original paragraph about the second point of view (that it's the circumstances that lead people to commit a crime). As you read, it try to understand what's wrong in terms of Task Response. (There are some language mistakes, but let's ignore those.)
🗒 Original:
"On another hand, I believe that only the condition of society affects people who commit a crime. In such conditions they do not have the opportunity to earn money in a legal way, so people become offenders in order to survive. For example, during the 90s in Russia there were not enough workplaces for people with different professions. This stems from the fact that the country was absolutely in a destroyed condition in all spheres. The Russian government’s Institutions were broken, such as the economy, culture, the internal affairs and life infrastructure. Although people had a good education and qualifications, they often had one chance to survive is to join criminal groups in the big cities and regions and earn money in an illegal way."
The problem is that the paragraph relies heavily on the example - it takes most of the paragraph and almost replaces the development of the idea. The example is certainly great, but let's give it less space and add an explanation, shall we?
Below is the re-write by Anna Skopina. Anna is teaching my IELTS writing groups for scores 7 and below. (Btw, message me to join one in 2023.)
🗒 Re-write:
"On the other hand, I believe that the environment has a more pronounced effect on those who commit crime. That is to say, in a society where poverty and unemployment are rife, people do not have the opportunity to earn money in a legal way, becoming offenders in order to survive. For example, following the dissolution of the Soviet Union in the 90s, Russia plunged into severe recession and political instability, which entailed large-scale unemployment. As a consequence, people, not being able to earn a living, resorted to joining criminal gangs so as not to starve. Society thus plays a more significant role in criminal behaviour than inherited traits because while the latter only increases the likelihood of turning to crime, the former often leaves people with no other choice."
So we do have the same example, but it's shorter and it's followed by a concluding sentence explaining what this example illustrates. 💚
Topic: "Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
Here is the student's original paragraph about the second point of view (that it's the circumstances that lead people to commit a crime). As you read, it try to understand what's wrong in terms of Task Response. (There are some language mistakes, but let's ignore those.)
🗒 Original:
"On another hand, I believe that only the condition of society affects people who commit a crime. In such conditions they do not have the opportunity to earn money in a legal way, so people become offenders in order to survive. For example, during the 90s in Russia there were not enough workplaces for people with different professions. This stems from the fact that the country was absolutely in a destroyed condition in all spheres. The Russian government’s Institutions were broken, such as the economy, culture, the internal affairs and life infrastructure. Although people had a good education and qualifications, they often had one chance to survive is to join criminal groups in the big cities and regions and earn money in an illegal way."
The problem is that the paragraph relies heavily on the example - it takes most of the paragraph and almost replaces the development of the idea. The example is certainly great, but let's give it less space and add an explanation, shall we?
Below is the re-write by Anna Skopina. Anna is teaching my IELTS writing groups for scores 7 and below. (Btw, message me to join one in 2023.)
🗒 Re-write:
"On the other hand, I believe that the environment has a more pronounced effect on those who commit crime. That is to say, in a society where poverty and unemployment are rife, people do not have the opportunity to earn money in a legal way, becoming offenders in order to survive. For example, following the dissolution of the Soviet Union in the 90s, Russia plunged into severe recession and political instability, which entailed large-scale unemployment. As a consequence, people, not being able to earn a living, resorted to joining criminal gangs so as not to starve. Society thus plays a more significant role in criminal behaviour than inherited traits because while the latter only increases the likelihood of turning to crime, the former often leaves people with no other choice."
So we do have the same example, but it's shorter and it's followed by a concluding sentence explaining what this example illustrates. 💚
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☃️ IELTS writing: stay on track with Task Response ☃️
Topic: "Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion."
I'll share the beginning of the paragraph arguing the first point of view. As you read, think about what subtracts from Task Response.
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"Some people find History more essential for a student than Science or Technology. This is because such a subject as History accumulates the experience of the past, enabling people to see the mistakes of their previous generations. Relying on this experience, it is possible to forecast future events more accurately and to be able to make more correct decisions about the future."
If you read the second and the third sentence carefully, you'll see that they are very neutral: the former is about people in general, while the latter doesn't have any agents at all.
To stay on track with Task Response in this case, you need to write about schools and students.
📝 My re-write:
"Some people consider History to be a more essential subject than Science or Technology. This is because it accumulates the experience of the past, studying which the students can develop their analytical skills and learn from the mistakes of their previous generations. These skills and knowledge can later become useful both in their university studies and in their professional life."
Now the paragraph is closely connected with schools (lexical items: study, skills, learn, knowledge, university studies), not to mention that students - very specific agents - are featured in both the second and the third sentence.
Many IELTS topics feature specific categories of people: students, children, men/women, sports people, the unemployed, etc. After you've written a paragraph, re-read it to make sure you wrote about the specific category in the task rather than people in general. ☃️☃️☃️
Topic: "Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion."
I'll share the beginning of the paragraph arguing the first point of view. As you read, think about what subtracts from Task Response.
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"Some people find History more essential for a student than Science or Technology. This is because such a subject as History accumulates the experience of the past, enabling people to see the mistakes of their previous generations. Relying on this experience, it is possible to forecast future events more accurately and to be able to make more correct decisions about the future."
If you read the second and the third sentence carefully, you'll see that they are very neutral: the former is about people in general, while the latter doesn't have any agents at all.
To stay on track with Task Response in this case, you need to write about schools and students.
📝 My re-write:
"Some people consider History to be a more essential subject than Science or Technology. This is because it accumulates the experience of the past, studying which the students can develop their analytical skills and learn from the mistakes of their previous generations. These skills and knowledge can later become useful both in their university studies and in their professional life."
Now the paragraph is closely connected with schools (lexical items: study, skills, learn, knowledge, university studies), not to mention that students - very specific agents - are featured in both the second and the third sentence.
Many IELTS topics feature specific categories of people: students, children, men/women, sports people, the unemployed, etc. After you've written a paragraph, re-read it to make sure you wrote about the specific category in the task rather than people in general. ☃️☃️☃️
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🎄IELTS writing: idea development 🎄
When it comes to the development of the idea, how do you identify what's missing or what's undeveloped? Let me show you an example.
📝 Topic: "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"On the one hand, it is reasonable to limit police and army prospective employees to male ones only. By doing so, these institutions would be more likely to employ stronger and more endurable people due to the fact that men have more muscle and bone mass. In addition, men are often more inclined to take risks, presumed by the specifics of work under discussion, including possible violent attacks, injuries, and driving at high speed. Police, army and the society in its turn would therefore benefit from hiring men as they could deliver better performance at tasks working there typically requires."
It's a good paragraph, but to develop the idea even further, we need answers to these questions: 1) What’s good about hiring stronger people only? 2) How will society benefit from police and army hiring men only?
These are not the only ones but some of the most common points that are missing from the idea development: 1) what's good (bad) about a certain thing; 2) who benefits (suffers) and how. 🎄
So, what would you write to further develop the student's paragraph? ❓
When it comes to the development of the idea, how do you identify what's missing or what's undeveloped? Let me show you an example.
📝 Topic: "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"On the one hand, it is reasonable to limit police and army prospective employees to male ones only. By doing so, these institutions would be more likely to employ stronger and more endurable people due to the fact that men have more muscle and bone mass. In addition, men are often more inclined to take risks, presumed by the specifics of work under discussion, including possible violent attacks, injuries, and driving at high speed. Police, army and the society in its turn would therefore benefit from hiring men as they could deliver better performance at tasks working there typically requires."
It's a good paragraph, but to develop the idea even further, we need answers to these questions: 1) What’s good about hiring stronger people only? 2) How will society benefit from police and army hiring men only?
These are not the only ones but some of the most common points that are missing from the idea development: 1) what's good (bad) about a certain thing; 2) who benefits (suffers) and how. 🎄
So, what would you write to further develop the student's paragraph? ❓
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Do you want to take your speaking skills to the next level this year? My "Speaking with New Scientist" course is perfect for that! ☃️☃️☃️
📝 What will we do?
- read cover articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with language;
- engage in meaningful discussions.
Reading and lexis exercises will be given as homework beforehand (and they absolutely need to be done) so that most of the class time is devoted to speaking.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who want to boost their language;
- people who want to engage in in-depth discussions of current social trends and human psychology;
- people who want to take IELTS or Proficiency in distant future but don't want to focus on the format too much.
This course is geared towards Speaking Part 3 of IELTS and C2 Proficiency, but is also perfect for people who don't need exams. Speaking Part 3 in both exams is a series of more abstract, thought-provoking questions, so - exam or no exam - you'll simply engage in great discussions with great people.
📝 The structure of one month:
Week 1: Article 1
Week 2: Article 2
Week 3: Article 3
Week 4: Review of all three articles to ensure retention.
(The review includes six two-minute talks: three IELTS and three CPE cards.)
💃 Groups:
📅 Friday 10:00-11:30 msk, level C1+
📅 Thursday 14:00-15:30 msk, level C2
Join any time.
📝 Price: 5600 rub a month (4 sessions).
💌 Message me to sign up or ask questions. Click the link below to read some feedback about the course.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5911089
📝 What will we do?
- read cover articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with language;
- engage in meaningful discussions.
Reading and lexis exercises will be given as homework beforehand (and they absolutely need to be done) so that most of the class time is devoted to speaking.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who want to boost their language;
- people who want to engage in in-depth discussions of current social trends and human psychology;
- people who want to take IELTS or Proficiency in distant future but don't want to focus on the format too much.
This course is geared towards Speaking Part 3 of IELTS and C2 Proficiency, but is also perfect for people who don't need exams. Speaking Part 3 in both exams is a series of more abstract, thought-provoking questions, so - exam or no exam - you'll simply engage in great discussions with great people.
📝 The structure of one month:
Week 1: Article 1
Week 2: Article 2
Week 3: Article 3
Week 4: Review of all three articles to ensure retention.
(The review includes six two-minute talks: three IELTS and three CPE cards.)
💃 Groups:
📅 Friday 10:00-11:30 msk, level C1+
📅 Thursday 14:00-15:30 msk, level C2
Join any time.
📝 Price: 5600 rub a month (4 sessions).
💌 Message me to sign up or ask questions. Click the link below to read some feedback about the course.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5911089
VK
Irina Lutsenko | IELTS 9, writing, cohesion
Speaking, writing, and exam skills for learners of English as a foreign language Taught passionately and professionally By an inspiring, focused, and dynamic teacher with a few bragging rights: - degree in teaching English and 20 years of experience; …
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📩 A clear purpose: how clear is it what you want? 📩
"Hello! My name is Anna, and I would like to apply for your course." This the beginning of a message I recently got from a subscriber and was surprised by - in a good way.
This line has something seemingly simple and obvious, yet something I rarely get - a clear statement of purpose. What does the person want? The person wants to apply for the course. Most messages I get have very vague statements of purpose, like "When does the course start?" or "I am interested in this course." People usually think it's obvious that when they write this, they want to join. But it isn't, so I have to ask.
Why is this important?
We are now preparing to launch IELTS General Training writing courses and are writing model answers. Task 1 - letters - has the clarity of purpose as part of the assessment criterion "Task Achievement":
- Band 5: may present the purpose that is unclear at times;
- Band 6: presents a purpose that is generally clear;
- Band 7: presents a clear purpose.
So clarity - or lack thereof - can make a difference to your score.
I think IELTS Writing is very practical and close to real life. A clear statement of purpose is as important in an IELTS letter as it is in a message in real life. The only difference is in real life I can ask for clarification. In IELTS, you don't have that luxury.
"Hello! My name is Anna, and I would like to apply for your course." This the beginning of a message I recently got from a subscriber and was surprised by - in a good way.
This line has something seemingly simple and obvious, yet something I rarely get - a clear statement of purpose. What does the person want? The person wants to apply for the course. Most messages I get have very vague statements of purpose, like "When does the course start?" or "I am interested in this course." People usually think it's obvious that when they write this, they want to join. But it isn't, so I have to ask.
Why is this important?
We are now preparing to launch IELTS General Training writing courses and are writing model answers. Task 1 - letters - has the clarity of purpose as part of the assessment criterion "Task Achievement":
- Band 5: may present the purpose that is unclear at times;
- Band 6: presents a purpose that is generally clear;
- Band 7: presents a clear purpose.
So clarity - or lack thereof - can make a difference to your score.
I think IELTS Writing is very practical and close to real life. A clear statement of purpose is as important in an IELTS letter as it is in a message in real life. The only difference is in real life I can ask for clarification. In IELTS, you don't have that luxury.
🔥13❤4👏4
🌎 IELTS Writing Task 1: How much can you assume in map denoscriptions? 🌎
Today, we were discussing overviews for the IELTS 16 task about the Southwest Airport.
One student wrote "The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster." Another student asked, "But isn't it an assumption that passengers will be able to move faster? Aren't we only supposed to describe what is in the task, without any assumptions?"
It's a very good question. And, generally, you shouldn't make assumptions about the data in the task. But! First, it's abundantly clear that taking a train is faster than walking, so this assumption is safe. Second, you need to think about why the thing in the map (the walkway in the airport in this case) was changed. Why would they need to replace the walkway? Because the airport will be bigger, so walking will be harder and longer.
OK, let's take the bare change without any assumptions: "The skytrain will replace the walkway." What are some assumptions that you should NOT include in your answer?
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster, so they won't miss their flight.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will make it easier for passengers to transport their heavy luggage.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will be a much more modern and technological means of transport.
These assumptions are also safe to some extent, but they are definitely a stretch - they not related to the changes at all (the airport increasing in size and new facilities being added).
Assume safely.
PS: My "IELTS Writing Target 8" group is finishing next Wednesday. Next course starting on 1 February. Message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
Today, we were discussing overviews for the IELTS 16 task about the Southwest Airport.
One student wrote "The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster." Another student asked, "But isn't it an assumption that passengers will be able to move faster? Aren't we only supposed to describe what is in the task, without any assumptions?"
It's a very good question. And, generally, you shouldn't make assumptions about the data in the task. But! First, it's abundantly clear that taking a train is faster than walking, so this assumption is safe. Second, you need to think about why the thing in the map (the walkway in the airport in this case) was changed. Why would they need to replace the walkway? Because the airport will be bigger, so walking will be harder and longer.
OK, let's take the bare change without any assumptions: "The skytrain will replace the walkway." What are some assumptions that you should NOT include in your answer?
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster, so they won't miss their flight.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will make it easier for passengers to transport their heavy luggage.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will be a much more modern and technological means of transport.
These assumptions are also safe to some extent, but they are definitely a stretch - they not related to the changes at all (the airport increasing in size and new facilities being added).
Assume safely.
PS: My "IELTS Writing Target 8" group is finishing next Wednesday. Next course starting on 1 February. Message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
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❄️ Writing with New Scientist: "thing" ❄️
"Thing" is a beautiful, all-encompassing shell noun - you can use it to speak about anything. "People spend too time on social media. This is a bad thing." Or, "Prolonged exposure to noise leads to such negative things as anxiety and insomnia."
Unfortunately, this word is completely non-academic or even anti-academic. In academic writing, we need more precise shell nouns, like: measure, trend, initiative, factor, development, consequence etc.
🗒 Here is a piece from the student's paragraph:
"Minor failures may result in frustration, disappointment and anger. These, in turn, would contribute to things like anxiety and depression."
Instead of "things," we could say, "issues" or even "mental health issues."
🗒 Here is another paragraph written by a student. This time, we see two examples of "things." How would you rephrase each one?
"Believing their potential is limitless is likely to reduce people's fear of failure, thus making them more daring and less inhibited. This, in turn, could lead them to muster the courage to attempt [1] things they have always wanted but never dared to try, such as starting their own business or learning a foreign language. Apart from enabling individuals to embark on new endeavors, the belief could also be a help along the way, as it will motivate them to persevere and try harder, regardless of any obstacles and setbacks. This amount of effort can't fail to bring at least some positive results. Even if they don't achieve everything they set out to accomplish, people will still hone their skills, increase their expertise and develop themselves, which can only be a good [2] thing."
Don't limit yourself to shell nouns. Be creative. And make other necessary changes. 📝
"Thing" is a beautiful, all-encompassing shell noun - you can use it to speak about anything. "People spend too time on social media. This is a bad thing." Or, "Prolonged exposure to noise leads to such negative things as anxiety and insomnia."
Unfortunately, this word is completely non-academic or even anti-academic. In academic writing, we need more precise shell nouns, like: measure, trend, initiative, factor, development, consequence etc.
🗒 Here is a piece from the student's paragraph:
"Minor failures may result in frustration, disappointment and anger. These, in turn, would contribute to things like anxiety and depression."
Instead of "things," we could say, "issues" or even "mental health issues."
🗒 Here is another paragraph written by a student. This time, we see two examples of "things." How would you rephrase each one?
"Believing their potential is limitless is likely to reduce people's fear of failure, thus making them more daring and less inhibited. This, in turn, could lead them to muster the courage to attempt [1] things they have always wanted but never dared to try, such as starting their own business or learning a foreign language. Apart from enabling individuals to embark on new endeavors, the belief could also be a help along the way, as it will motivate them to persevere and try harder, regardless of any obstacles and setbacks. This amount of effort can't fail to bring at least some positive results. Even if they don't achieve everything they set out to accomplish, people will still hone their skills, increase their expertise and develop themselves, which can only be a good [2] thing."
Don't limit yourself to shell nouns. Be creative. And make other necessary changes. 📝
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