🎄IELTS writing: idea development 🎄
When it comes to the development of the idea, how do you identify what's missing or what's undeveloped? Let me show you an example.
📝 Topic: "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"On the one hand, it is reasonable to limit police and army prospective employees to male ones only. By doing so, these institutions would be more likely to employ stronger and more endurable people due to the fact that men have more muscle and bone mass. In addition, men are often more inclined to take risks, presumed by the specifics of work under discussion, including possible violent attacks, injuries, and driving at high speed. Police, army and the society in its turn would therefore benefit from hiring men as they could deliver better performance at tasks working there typically requires."
It's a good paragraph, but to develop the idea even further, we need answers to these questions: 1) What’s good about hiring stronger people only? 2) How will society benefit from police and army hiring men only?
These are not the only ones but some of the most common points that are missing from the idea development: 1) what's good (bad) about a certain thing; 2) who benefits (suffers) and how. 🎄
So, what would you write to further develop the student's paragraph? ❓
When it comes to the development of the idea, how do you identify what's missing or what's undeveloped? Let me show you an example.
📝 Topic: "Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
📝 Student's original paragraph:
"On the one hand, it is reasonable to limit police and army prospective employees to male ones only. By doing so, these institutions would be more likely to employ stronger and more endurable people due to the fact that men have more muscle and bone mass. In addition, men are often more inclined to take risks, presumed by the specifics of work under discussion, including possible violent attacks, injuries, and driving at high speed. Police, army and the society in its turn would therefore benefit from hiring men as they could deliver better performance at tasks working there typically requires."
It's a good paragraph, but to develop the idea even further, we need answers to these questions: 1) What’s good about hiring stronger people only? 2) How will society benefit from police and army hiring men only?
These are not the only ones but some of the most common points that are missing from the idea development: 1) what's good (bad) about a certain thing; 2) who benefits (suffers) and how. 🎄
So, what would you write to further develop the student's paragraph? ❓
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Do you want to take your speaking skills to the next level this year? My "Speaking with New Scientist" course is perfect for that! ☃️☃️☃️
📝 What will we do?
- read cover articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with language;
- engage in meaningful discussions.
Reading and lexis exercises will be given as homework beforehand (and they absolutely need to be done) so that most of the class time is devoted to speaking.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who want to boost their language;
- people who want to engage in in-depth discussions of current social trends and human psychology;
- people who want to take IELTS or Proficiency in distant future but don't want to focus on the format too much.
This course is geared towards Speaking Part 3 of IELTS and C2 Proficiency, but is also perfect for people who don't need exams. Speaking Part 3 in both exams is a series of more abstract, thought-provoking questions, so - exam or no exam - you'll simply engage in great discussions with great people.
📝 The structure of one month:
Week 1: Article 1
Week 2: Article 2
Week 3: Article 3
Week 4: Review of all three articles to ensure retention.
(The review includes six two-minute talks: three IELTS and three CPE cards.)
💃 Groups:
📅 Friday 10:00-11:30 msk, level C1+
📅 Thursday 14:00-15:30 msk, level C2
Join any time.
📝 Price: 5600 rub a month (4 sessions).
💌 Message me to sign up or ask questions. Click the link below to read some feedback about the course.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5911089
📝 What will we do?
- read cover articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with language;
- engage in meaningful discussions.
Reading and lexis exercises will be given as homework beforehand (and they absolutely need to be done) so that most of the class time is devoted to speaking.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who want to boost their language;
- people who want to engage in in-depth discussions of current social trends and human psychology;
- people who want to take IELTS or Proficiency in distant future but don't want to focus on the format too much.
This course is geared towards Speaking Part 3 of IELTS and C2 Proficiency, but is also perfect for people who don't need exams. Speaking Part 3 in both exams is a series of more abstract, thought-provoking questions, so - exam or no exam - you'll simply engage in great discussions with great people.
📝 The structure of one month:
Week 1: Article 1
Week 2: Article 2
Week 3: Article 3
Week 4: Review of all three articles to ensure retention.
(The review includes six two-minute talks: three IELTS and three CPE cards.)
💃 Groups:
📅 Friday 10:00-11:30 msk, level C1+
📅 Thursday 14:00-15:30 msk, level C2
Join any time.
📝 Price: 5600 rub a month (4 sessions).
💌 Message me to sign up or ask questions. Click the link below to read some feedback about the course.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5911089
VK
Irina Lutsenko | IELTS 9, writing, cohesion
Speaking, writing, and exam skills for learners of English as a foreign language Taught passionately and professionally By an inspiring, focused, and dynamic teacher with a few bragging rights: - degree in teaching English and 20 years of experience; …
❤8🔥2
📩 A clear purpose: how clear is it what you want? 📩
"Hello! My name is Anna, and I would like to apply for your course." This the beginning of a message I recently got from a subscriber and was surprised by - in a good way.
This line has something seemingly simple and obvious, yet something I rarely get - a clear statement of purpose. What does the person want? The person wants to apply for the course. Most messages I get have very vague statements of purpose, like "When does the course start?" or "I am interested in this course." People usually think it's obvious that when they write this, they want to join. But it isn't, so I have to ask.
Why is this important?
We are now preparing to launch IELTS General Training writing courses and are writing model answers. Task 1 - letters - has the clarity of purpose as part of the assessment criterion "Task Achievement":
- Band 5: may present the purpose that is unclear at times;
- Band 6: presents a purpose that is generally clear;
- Band 7: presents a clear purpose.
So clarity - or lack thereof - can make a difference to your score.
I think IELTS Writing is very practical and close to real life. A clear statement of purpose is as important in an IELTS letter as it is in a message in real life. The only difference is in real life I can ask for clarification. In IELTS, you don't have that luxury.
"Hello! My name is Anna, and I would like to apply for your course." This the beginning of a message I recently got from a subscriber and was surprised by - in a good way.
This line has something seemingly simple and obvious, yet something I rarely get - a clear statement of purpose. What does the person want? The person wants to apply for the course. Most messages I get have very vague statements of purpose, like "When does the course start?" or "I am interested in this course." People usually think it's obvious that when they write this, they want to join. But it isn't, so I have to ask.
Why is this important?
We are now preparing to launch IELTS General Training writing courses and are writing model answers. Task 1 - letters - has the clarity of purpose as part of the assessment criterion "Task Achievement":
- Band 5: may present the purpose that is unclear at times;
- Band 6: presents a purpose that is generally clear;
- Band 7: presents a clear purpose.
So clarity - or lack thereof - can make a difference to your score.
I think IELTS Writing is very practical and close to real life. A clear statement of purpose is as important in an IELTS letter as it is in a message in real life. The only difference is in real life I can ask for clarification. In IELTS, you don't have that luxury.
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🌎 IELTS Writing Task 1: How much can you assume in map denoscriptions? 🌎
Today, we were discussing overviews for the IELTS 16 task about the Southwest Airport.
One student wrote "The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster." Another student asked, "But isn't it an assumption that passengers will be able to move faster? Aren't we only supposed to describe what is in the task, without any assumptions?"
It's a very good question. And, generally, you shouldn't make assumptions about the data in the task. But! First, it's abundantly clear that taking a train is faster than walking, so this assumption is safe. Second, you need to think about why the thing in the map (the walkway in the airport in this case) was changed. Why would they need to replace the walkway? Because the airport will be bigger, so walking will be harder and longer.
OK, let's take the bare change without any assumptions: "The skytrain will replace the walkway." What are some assumptions that you should NOT include in your answer?
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster, so they won't miss their flight.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will make it easier for passengers to transport their heavy luggage.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will be a much more modern and technological means of transport.
These assumptions are also safe to some extent, but they are definitely a stretch - they not related to the changes at all (the airport increasing in size and new facilities being added).
Assume safely.
PS: My "IELTS Writing Target 8" group is finishing next Wednesday. Next course starting on 1 February. Message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
Today, we were discussing overviews for the IELTS 16 task about the Southwest Airport.
One student wrote "The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster." Another student asked, "But isn't it an assumption that passengers will be able to move faster? Aren't we only supposed to describe what is in the task, without any assumptions?"
It's a very good question. And, generally, you shouldn't make assumptions about the data in the task. But! First, it's abundantly clear that taking a train is faster than walking, so this assumption is safe. Second, you need to think about why the thing in the map (the walkway in the airport in this case) was changed. Why would they need to replace the walkway? Because the airport will be bigger, so walking will be harder and longer.
OK, let's take the bare change without any assumptions: "The skytrain will replace the walkway." What are some assumptions that you should NOT include in your answer?
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will allow passengers to move through this area faster, so they won't miss their flight.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will make it easier for passengers to transport their heavy luggage.
- The skytrain, which will replace the walkway, will be a much more modern and technological means of transport.
These assumptions are also safe to some extent, but they are definitely a stretch - they not related to the changes at all (the airport increasing in size and new facilities being added).
Assume safely.
PS: My "IELTS Writing Target 8" group is finishing next Wednesday. Next course starting on 1 February. Message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
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❄️ Writing with New Scientist: "thing" ❄️
"Thing" is a beautiful, all-encompassing shell noun - you can use it to speak about anything. "People spend too time on social media. This is a bad thing." Or, "Prolonged exposure to noise leads to such negative things as anxiety and insomnia."
Unfortunately, this word is completely non-academic or even anti-academic. In academic writing, we need more precise shell nouns, like: measure, trend, initiative, factor, development, consequence etc.
🗒 Here is a piece from the student's paragraph:
"Minor failures may result in frustration, disappointment and anger. These, in turn, would contribute to things like anxiety and depression."
Instead of "things," we could say, "issues" or even "mental health issues."
🗒 Here is another paragraph written by a student. This time, we see two examples of "things." How would you rephrase each one?
"Believing their potential is limitless is likely to reduce people's fear of failure, thus making them more daring and less inhibited. This, in turn, could lead them to muster the courage to attempt [1] things they have always wanted but never dared to try, such as starting their own business or learning a foreign language. Apart from enabling individuals to embark on new endeavors, the belief could also be a help along the way, as it will motivate them to persevere and try harder, regardless of any obstacles and setbacks. This amount of effort can't fail to bring at least some positive results. Even if they don't achieve everything they set out to accomplish, people will still hone their skills, increase their expertise and develop themselves, which can only be a good [2] thing."
Don't limit yourself to shell nouns. Be creative. And make other necessary changes. 📝
"Thing" is a beautiful, all-encompassing shell noun - you can use it to speak about anything. "People spend too time on social media. This is a bad thing." Or, "Prolonged exposure to noise leads to such negative things as anxiety and insomnia."
Unfortunately, this word is completely non-academic or even anti-academic. In academic writing, we need more precise shell nouns, like: measure, trend, initiative, factor, development, consequence etc.
🗒 Here is a piece from the student's paragraph:
"Minor failures may result in frustration, disappointment and anger. These, in turn, would contribute to things like anxiety and depression."
Instead of "things," we could say, "issues" or even "mental health issues."
🗒 Here is another paragraph written by a student. This time, we see two examples of "things." How would you rephrase each one?
"Believing their potential is limitless is likely to reduce people's fear of failure, thus making them more daring and less inhibited. This, in turn, could lead them to muster the courage to attempt [1] things they have always wanted but never dared to try, such as starting their own business or learning a foreign language. Apart from enabling individuals to embark on new endeavors, the belief could also be a help along the way, as it will motivate them to persevere and try harder, regardless of any obstacles and setbacks. This amount of effort can't fail to bring at least some positive results. Even if they don't achieve everything they set out to accomplish, people will still hone their skills, increase their expertise and develop themselves, which can only be a good [2] thing."
Don't limit yourself to shell nouns. Be creative. And make other necessary changes. 📝
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"Writing with New Scientist" - one of my best courses ever! 💜
My unique writing course "Writing with New Scientist" is a writing course based on academic articles and geared towards IELTS writing and academic writing in general.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who have taken IELTS and want to keep working on their academic writing skills;
- people who want to write focusing on the skill more than on the format;
- people who are considering taking IELTS in distant future.
📝 What will we do?
- read and discuss articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with lexis and sentence structures;
- work on cohesion, coherence, paraphrasing and all the things you need for a successful IELTS essay;
- After all that, you'll write an essay in the IELTS format based on the article (sometimes even an IELTS writing task 1 answer!).
📅 More experienced writers are welcome to join the groups that started in 2022:
- Tuesday 10:00-11:30 MSK
- Tuesday 14:00-15:30 MSK
📅 New group, Winter 2023:
- Friday 14:00-15:30 MSK
Click the link below to read the course denoscription and some testimonials. And message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5061302
My unique writing course "Writing with New Scientist" is a writing course based on academic articles and geared towards IELTS writing and academic writing in general.
📝 Who is the course perfect for?
- people who have taken IELTS and want to keep working on their academic writing skills;
- people who want to write focusing on the skill more than on the format;
- people who are considering taking IELTS in distant future.
📝 What will we do?
- read and discuss articles from the "New Scientist" magazine;
- work with lexis and sentence structures;
- work on cohesion, coherence, paraphrasing and all the things you need for a successful IELTS essay;
- After all that, you'll write an essay in the IELTS format based on the article (sometimes even an IELTS writing task 1 answer!).
📅 More experienced writers are welcome to join the groups that started in 2022:
- Tuesday 10:00-11:30 MSK
- Tuesday 14:00-15:30 MSK
📅 New group, Winter 2023:
- Friday 14:00-15:30 MSK
Click the link below to read the course denoscription and some testimonials. And message me to sign up. 💌
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5061302
ВКонтакте
Irina Lutsenko | IELTS 9, writing, cohesion
Speaking, writing, and exam skills for learners of English as a foreign language Taught passionately and professionally By an inspiring, focused, and dynamic teacher with a few bragging rights: - degree in teaching English and 20 years of experience; …
❤4🔥1
☃️ IELTS Writing Task 2: a paragraph makeover ☃️
🗒 Topic: "Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
🗒 Here is a student's paragraph about the first point of view:
"On the one hand, doing a course on business at an educational institution is the best choice. By doing so, a candidate is likely to gain profound knowledge of the mechanics of business models. This foundation can give the understanding of basic economic principles, how markets are affected by world events, and how to assess a firms' financial health. Thus, such academic background serves as a building block for flexibility - a valued asset of a contemporary entrepreneur. It arms them with skills required to work equally effectively for businesses of all sizes - from multinational companies to start-ups, as well as in a number of contexts - from finance and Human Resources to personal brands."
This paragraph has some good ideas, but is a bit chaotic. More importantly, it doesn't explain why doing a course at university is the best choice. It simply explains what happens at a university course. For example, "gain profound knowledge" or "understanding of basic economic principles" or "arms them with skills" - these things simply happen at university. They don't necessarily mean a university course is the best.
So how do we argue that a university course is the best choice? How do we underscore the "the best" part?
🗒 My rewrite:
"On the one hand, doing a course on business at a university is the best choice. First, a candidate is likely to gain more profound knowledge of the mechanics of business and economic principles than they might through experience or consuming content online. This is because university courses are based on solid scientific research and are taught by professors with advanced academic degrees. Second, courses offered by higher education institutions are better designed in that they are more comprehensive and include a wide range of subjects. They can thus enable the graduates to work in a wide range of business contexts, from multinational companies to start-ups. When people learn from experience, on the other hand, they only learn one specific area of business they are engaged in. A university course is therefore a much more fundamental approach than any other."
What did I do? I explained why a university course is more profound and contrasted a wide range of contexts with just one area.
Many IELTS topics have the word "the best." Make sure it's clear not only how something works, but also in what ways it's better than other ways.
🗒 Topic: "Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
🗒 Here is a student's paragraph about the first point of view:
"On the one hand, doing a course on business at an educational institution is the best choice. By doing so, a candidate is likely to gain profound knowledge of the mechanics of business models. This foundation can give the understanding of basic economic principles, how markets are affected by world events, and how to assess a firms' financial health. Thus, such academic background serves as a building block for flexibility - a valued asset of a contemporary entrepreneur. It arms them with skills required to work equally effectively for businesses of all sizes - from multinational companies to start-ups, as well as in a number of contexts - from finance and Human Resources to personal brands."
This paragraph has some good ideas, but is a bit chaotic. More importantly, it doesn't explain why doing a course at university is the best choice. It simply explains what happens at a university course. For example, "gain profound knowledge" or "understanding of basic economic principles" or "arms them with skills" - these things simply happen at university. They don't necessarily mean a university course is the best.
So how do we argue that a university course is the best choice? How do we underscore the "the best" part?
🗒 My rewrite:
"On the one hand, doing a course on business at a university is the best choice. First, a candidate is likely to gain more profound knowledge of the mechanics of business and economic principles than they might through experience or consuming content online. This is because university courses are based on solid scientific research and are taught by professors with advanced academic degrees. Second, courses offered by higher education institutions are better designed in that they are more comprehensive and include a wide range of subjects. They can thus enable the graduates to work in a wide range of business contexts, from multinational companies to start-ups. When people learn from experience, on the other hand, they only learn one specific area of business they are engaged in. A university course is therefore a much more fundamental approach than any other."
What did I do? I explained why a university course is more profound and contrasted a wide range of contexts with just one area.
Many IELTS topics have the word "the best." Make sure it's clear not only how something works, but also in what ways it's better than other ways.
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🎄 IELTS Writing Task 2: a developed idea (another paragraph makeover, well almost) 🎄
The cornerstone of Task Response is the development of idea. But what is a developed idea? How do we know the difference?
🗒 Take a look at this paragraph written by a student and try to notice the development or lack thereof.
"Studying international news at school is considered unproductive by many, which is the position I agree with. Adding this subject will undeniably overload students: by doing so, schools will not only cause academic stress but also affect the students’ mental and physical health. In addition, teenagers in such a course would be more exposed to violence and biased media, dealing with which can increase anxiety, apathy, and the probability to develop depression in areas unrelated to the content being consumed. Thus, studying international news as an obligatory course at school is more of a liability than an asset."
We have a bunch of ideas, but most of them are not developed at all. Let's take the first part: "Adding this subject will undeniably overload students: by doing so, schools will not only cause academic stress but also affect the students’ mental and physical health." We have a mention of academic stress. But what exactly is it? How does it happen? What are the consequences? Let's use these questions to develop the idea.
🗒 Here is my development of "academic stress":
"Adding this subject will overload the students as they will have more hours of studies and more homework. This will inevitably cause them unnecessary academic stress, which can result in poor performance in other subjects, ones that students like more or hope to study in depth at university. It is thus more reasonable to keep the traditional subjects on the curriculum and let the students study international news in their free time if they wish to do so."
Now "academic stress" is better developed. And then we need to decide what to develop next. We have mental health and physical health in the same sentence as academic stress. The impact on physical health is not explained at all. The impact on mental health is somewhat explained in the next part, but it's not introduced as an explanation. It's introduced as an addition. Plus, I have a huge question here: why will students be necessarily exposed to violence in this class? International news can be about politics or finances, not necessarily violence.
Developing all of the original ideas would be too much. We could choose just one more to develop. Give it a shot in the comments. 🗒
The cornerstone of Task Response is the development of idea. But what is a developed idea? How do we know the difference?
🗒 Take a look at this paragraph written by a student and try to notice the development or lack thereof.
"Studying international news at school is considered unproductive by many, which is the position I agree with. Adding this subject will undeniably overload students: by doing so, schools will not only cause academic stress but also affect the students’ mental and physical health. In addition, teenagers in such a course would be more exposed to violence and biased media, dealing with which can increase anxiety, apathy, and the probability to develop depression in areas unrelated to the content being consumed. Thus, studying international news as an obligatory course at school is more of a liability than an asset."
We have a bunch of ideas, but most of them are not developed at all. Let's take the first part: "Adding this subject will undeniably overload students: by doing so, schools will not only cause academic stress but also affect the students’ mental and physical health." We have a mention of academic stress. But what exactly is it? How does it happen? What are the consequences? Let's use these questions to develop the idea.
🗒 Here is my development of "academic stress":
"Adding this subject will overload the students as they will have more hours of studies and more homework. This will inevitably cause them unnecessary academic stress, which can result in poor performance in other subjects, ones that students like more or hope to study in depth at university. It is thus more reasonable to keep the traditional subjects on the curriculum and let the students study international news in their free time if they wish to do so."
Now "academic stress" is better developed. And then we need to decide what to develop next. We have mental health and physical health in the same sentence as academic stress. The impact on physical health is not explained at all. The impact on mental health is somewhat explained in the next part, but it's not introduced as an explanation. It's introduced as an addition. Plus, I have a huge question here: why will students be necessarily exposed to violence in this class? International news can be about politics or finances, not necessarily violence.
Developing all of the original ideas would be too much. We could choose just one more to develop. Give it a shot in the comments. 🗒
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🦩 Shifts and inconsistencies in writing 🦩
Take a look at a paragraph written by a student and try to notice what shift or inconsistency I mean.
📝 "When doing something risky, we should always be ready to lose. But I believe that all those reckless risk-takers know the secret: it is the whole process, not the result, that is of the greatest value. Getting out of a comfort zone might teach you who you truly are and help you overcome your fears. Failure makes us more resilient to ever-changing circumstances and adapt at finding multiple routes to your dream destination. And those ready to risk over and over again inevitably get what they wanted (even though it might differ from the initial picture in their mind)."
Did you notice the inconsistency in pronouns? Sometimes it's "we/us," sometimes it's "you." Plus, it's a bit unclear if the test takers are expected to be separated from "us" or not.
📝 My rewrite:
"When doing something risky, we should always be ready to lose. But I believe that all those reckless risk-takers know the secret: it is the process, not the result, that is of the greatest value. And, perhaps, we should learn from them. Getting out of our comfort zone will teach us who we truly are. Failure will make us more resilient and adept at finding multiple routes to the dream destination. But we should also keep in mind that losing is not an inevitable outcome. After all, those taking the risks over and over again inevitably get what they wanted - even if it differs from the initial picture in their mind."
I decided to stick to "we/us" as "you" would be too informal and "people" would be too formal. Plus, I added "And, perhaps, we should learn from them" in order to create a smoother transition from the risk takers to "us."
This inconsistency in pronouns is very common. Make sure to double check them. 📝
Take a look at a paragraph written by a student and try to notice what shift or inconsistency I mean.
📝 "When doing something risky, we should always be ready to lose. But I believe that all those reckless risk-takers know the secret: it is the whole process, not the result, that is of the greatest value. Getting out of a comfort zone might teach you who you truly are and help you overcome your fears. Failure makes us more resilient to ever-changing circumstances and adapt at finding multiple routes to your dream destination. And those ready to risk over and over again inevitably get what they wanted (even though it might differ from the initial picture in their mind)."
Did you notice the inconsistency in pronouns? Sometimes it's "we/us," sometimes it's "you." Plus, it's a bit unclear if the test takers are expected to be separated from "us" or not.
📝 My rewrite:
"When doing something risky, we should always be ready to lose. But I believe that all those reckless risk-takers know the secret: it is the process, not the result, that is of the greatest value. And, perhaps, we should learn from them. Getting out of our comfort zone will teach us who we truly are. Failure will make us more resilient and adept at finding multiple routes to the dream destination. But we should also keep in mind that losing is not an inevitable outcome. After all, those taking the risks over and over again inevitably get what they wanted - even if it differs from the initial picture in their mind."
I decided to stick to "we/us" as "you" would be too informal and "people" would be too formal. Plus, I added "And, perhaps, we should learn from them" in order to create a smoother transition from the risk takers to "us."
This inconsistency in pronouns is very common. Make sure to double check them. 📝
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To hell with exams. If you are sick of writing exams answers or never even wanted to do this anyway, this course is perfect for you! You will write what you want and find your voice. 💜
What will you write?
Social media posts and stories. Take a look at some written by my former students:
- "Knocked Down by Beauty" about the importance of not saving up on comfort and time when you visit a place like St Petersburg
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/09/knocked-down-by-beauty.html
- "Saying No to Human Zoos" about the importance of saying no, especially to being the head of the parenting committee of your child's kindergarten group
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/07/saying-no-to-human-zoos.html
- "To answer or not to answer" about the importance of just dropping a line sometimes.
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/08/to-answer-or-not-to-answer.html
This course is one of my favorite courses to teach. Read the posts above and you'll understand why. 💜
📅 Winter-Spring 2023: Saturday 12-13:30 pm MSK
💌 Find out more in the product denoscription and message me to sign up @iraluts.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696542
What will you write?
Social media posts and stories. Take a look at some written by my former students:
- "Knocked Down by Beauty" about the importance of not saving up on comfort and time when you visit a place like St Petersburg
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/09/knocked-down-by-beauty.html
- "Saying No to Human Zoos" about the importance of saying no, especially to being the head of the parenting committee of your child's kindergarten group
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/07/saying-no-to-human-zoos.html
- "To answer or not to answer" about the importance of just dropping a line sometimes.
https://iraluts.blogspot.com/2022/08/to-answer-or-not-to-answer.html
This course is one of my favorite courses to teach. Read the posts above and you'll understand why. 💜
📅 Winter-Spring 2023: Saturday 12-13:30 pm MSK
💌 Find out more in the product denoscription and message me to sign up @iraluts.
https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_3696542
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📝 Overuse of "and" 📝
While overuse of conjunctions (which "and" is) can be a stylistic device, more often than not, it produces bad sentences.
📝 Here are some examples of such sentences written by a student:
1. Her openness and frankness about her life, misfortunes and victories made her real, trustworthy and relatable.
2. I, personally, still remember and follow some of her pieces of advice, and some of my views and preferences were formed partially because of her speeches.
3. Moreover, exceptional speakers are mostly experts in their sphere and their thoughts are usually backed up by research and evidence, which means listening to them can be both inspirational and educational.
When I ask my students to rephrase such sentences, they are quick to resort to "as well as" or "along with." But these don't help (well, they can occasionally, but rarely).
I tell my students, "Overuse of 'and' is just a symptom." Even if you replace all the "and"s with "as well as, along with, together with" etc, you will still have a clumsy sentence. "And" simply shows that you packed too many concepts into one sentence.
What are the solutions? Sometimes the solution is to simply delete a concept. Sometimes the solution is to use a more precise conjunction. Sometimes the solution is to split the sentence into two or rephrase it entirely.
📝 Look at my re-write of the third sentence:
3. Moreover, exceptional speakers are mostly experts in their sphere, so their ideas are usually backed up byresearch and evidence, which means listening to them can be both inspirational and educational.
How would you rewrite the first and the second sentences? Give it a shot in the comments. 📝
While overuse of conjunctions (which "and" is) can be a stylistic device, more often than not, it produces bad sentences.
📝 Here are some examples of such sentences written by a student:
1. Her openness and frankness about her life, misfortunes and victories made her real, trustworthy and relatable.
2. I, personally, still remember and follow some of her pieces of advice, and some of my views and preferences were formed partially because of her speeches.
3. Moreover, exceptional speakers are mostly experts in their sphere and their thoughts are usually backed up by research and evidence, which means listening to them can be both inspirational and educational.
When I ask my students to rephrase such sentences, they are quick to resort to "as well as" or "along with." But these don't help (well, they can occasionally, but rarely).
I tell my students, "Overuse of 'and' is just a symptom." Even if you replace all the "and"s with "as well as, along with, together with" etc, you will still have a clumsy sentence. "And" simply shows that you packed too many concepts into one sentence.
What are the solutions? Sometimes the solution is to simply delete a concept. Sometimes the solution is to use a more precise conjunction. Sometimes the solution is to split the sentence into two or rephrase it entirely.
📝 Look at my re-write of the third sentence:
3. Moreover, exceptional speakers are mostly experts in their sphere, so their ideas are usually backed up by
How would you rewrite the first and the second sentences? Give it a shot in the comments. 📝
🔥19👏3
☃️ Sentence clinic ☃️
Take a look at this sentence from an academic essay and try to figure out what needs to be fixed.
📝 Original:
"First of all, especially if you are aspiring to reduce your weight, a vegan diet consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto, can be of great help."
First, the sentence starts from a specific condition "especially if," which delays the introduction of the subject. Second, the subject "vegan diet" and the verb "can be" are very far away from each other, which also makes the sentence hard to understand. Both of these can be great techniques in more creative genres because they can create suspense and thus keep the reader engaged, but in academic writing we need to know what we are reading about very soon.
But my next question is - what is the purpose of the part between the subject and the verb ("consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto")? Do we expect the reader not to know what a vegan diet is? OK, we can imagine a vegan diet that consists of pasta and meat-alternatives alone, without any vegetables or fruit. Such vegan diets are possible, but they are by far not the first association that comes to mind. So I'd say if we had to explain the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy vegan diet, we should explain the latter.
Finally, we need to get rid of "you."
📝 My rewrite:
"First of all, a vegan diet offers a whole host of health benefits, especially to those who are trying to lose weight. This, however, is only true for a traditional vegan diet, one that consists primarily of vegetables, fruit, and grains or dishes made from these plants."
Now we can enjoy a smoother introduction of ideas.
Take a look at this sentence from an academic essay and try to figure out what needs to be fixed.
📝 Original:
"First of all, especially if you are aspiring to reduce your weight, a vegan diet consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto, can be of great help."
First, the sentence starts from a specific condition "especially if," which delays the introduction of the subject. Second, the subject "vegan diet" and the verb "can be" are very far away from each other, which also makes the sentence hard to understand. Both of these can be great techniques in more creative genres because they can create suspense and thus keep the reader engaged, but in academic writing we need to know what we are reading about very soon.
But my next question is - what is the purpose of the part between the subject and the verb ("consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto")? Do we expect the reader not to know what a vegan diet is? OK, we can imagine a vegan diet that consists of pasta and meat-alternatives alone, without any vegetables or fruit. Such vegan diets are possible, but they are by far not the first association that comes to mind. So I'd say if we had to explain the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy vegan diet, we should explain the latter.
Finally, we need to get rid of "you."
📝 My rewrite:
"First of all, a vegan diet offers a whole host of health benefits, especially to those who are trying to lose weight. This, however, is only true for a traditional vegan diet, one that consists primarily of vegetables, fruit, and grains or dishes made from these plants."
Now we can enjoy a smoother introduction of ideas.
❤24🔥2👏2
📝 Overuse of "and." Sequel. 📝
I've already written about the overuse of the conjunction "and" in a post before the previous one. In that post, the problem was packing too many concepts into one sentence. However, overuse of "and" can have a different root cause.
🗒 Here is a paragraph written by a student:
"Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, [1] and abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task. On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store [2] and this is the second reason for its popularity. There are no laws or rules which regulate the sales of harmful products or their advertisement and layout in stores. Businesses take advantage of this lack of regulations, [3] and, in their advertisements, they attract the attention of customers to the benefits of this food, while disregarding any information concerning its harm."
Here, the problem is different - the student uses "and" to introduce a new sentence. Doing so with the help of "and" is weak as this conjunction does not connect ideas in a meaningful way.
🗒 Fixes:
1️⃣ In the first case, the clauses have a "cause-effect" connection, so why don't we use "so"? ""Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, so abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task"
2️⃣ "And this is" is better of as "which." "On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store, which is the second reason for its popularity"
3️⃣ Give it a shot in the comments?
I've already written about the overuse of the conjunction "and" in a post before the previous one. In that post, the problem was packing too many concepts into one sentence. However, overuse of "and" can have a different root cause.
🗒 Here is a paragraph written by a student:
"Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, [1] and abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task. On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store [2] and this is the second reason for its popularity. There are no laws or rules which regulate the sales of harmful products or their advertisement and layout in stores. Businesses take advantage of this lack of regulations, [3] and, in their advertisements, they attract the attention of customers to the benefits of this food, while disregarding any information concerning its harm."
Here, the problem is different - the student uses "and" to introduce a new sentence. Doing so with the help of "and" is weak as this conjunction does not connect ideas in a meaningful way.
🗒 Fixes:
1️⃣ In the first case, the clauses have a "cause-effect" connection, so why don't we use "so"? ""Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, so abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task"
2️⃣ "And this is" is better of as "which." "On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store, which is the second reason for its popularity"
3️⃣ Give it a shot in the comments?
🔥8❤5
📉 A bunch of IELTS Writing Task 1 (line graph) mistakes 📈
I have just checked the first line graph denoscriptions in my new IELTS writing group. 🥳
I love seeing people at the beginning of their IELTS writing journey because I know how much they will improve.
Here are some mistakes they made that many others make too (and my fixes).
1️⃣ "Pipeline usage to transport goods was constantly rising from 1974 to 1995, climbing to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes of goods."
The mistake is not giving the initial figure and not saying when it reached 22 million tonnes. We need the initial figure because without it we can't understand the growth.
Fix: "Pipeline usage to transport goods started at 5 million tonnes and, after rising steadily until 1995, climbed to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes by the end of the period."
2️⃣ "The figure showed an upward trend, which witnessed a fourfold increase in 1994, after this it remained unchanged until 2002."
The use of "which" is wrong because it defines "trend," but a trend cannot show a fourfold increase - a figure can. And don't get me started in the comma splice.
Fix: "The figure showed an upward trend, witnessing a fourfold increase in 1994 and remaining unchanged until 2002."
3️⃣ "Being the least widely used means of transport, the quantity of Pipeline delivered goods began at just 5 million tonnes, demonstrating a gradual upward trend, with the figure increasing fourfold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."
This sentence is too complex and clumsy. Why don't we split it?
Fix: "Being the lowest throughout the period, the quantity of Pipeline transported goods began at just 5 million tonnes. The figure demonstrated a gradual upward trend, increasing four-fold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."
4️⃣ "The most used way of transportation was the road, starting at about 70 million tonnes. After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, it slightly dipped to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."
Bad referencing is by far the most common mistake. Here "it" refers to "way of transportation" - but a way cannot dip. A figure can.
Fix: "After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, this figure dipped slightly to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."
5️⃣ "The amount of goods transported by road was the largest throughout the period, starting at 70 million tonnes. After decreasing slightly to just 67 million tonnes, [1] it started increasing gradually. Having dropped by just three tonnes in 1994, [2] it was followed by a significant increase between 1994 and 1998."
This is one more example of bad referencing. But it's more subtle. The first "it" is correct: it refers to "amount" and amount can increase. But the second "it" also seems to refer to "amount," but the we get "the amount was followed by a significant increase," which is not correct.
Fix: "... it started increasing gradually. This was followed by a drop of just three tonnes in 1994 and a subsequent increase until 1998."
All of the above are good mistakes because we can learn from them and become better writers. 💜
I have just checked the first line graph denoscriptions in my new IELTS writing group. 🥳
I love seeing people at the beginning of their IELTS writing journey because I know how much they will improve.
Here are some mistakes they made that many others make too (and my fixes).
1️⃣ "Pipeline usage to transport goods was constantly rising from 1974 to 1995, climbing to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes of goods."
The mistake is not giving the initial figure and not saying when it reached 22 million tonnes. We need the initial figure because without it we can't understand the growth.
Fix: "Pipeline usage to transport goods started at 5 million tonnes and, after rising steadily until 1995, climbed to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes by the end of the period."
2️⃣ "The figure showed an upward trend, which witnessed a fourfold increase in 1994, after this it remained unchanged until 2002."
The use of "which" is wrong because it defines "trend," but a trend cannot show a fourfold increase - a figure can. And don't get me started in the comma splice.
Fix: "The figure showed an upward trend, witnessing a fourfold increase in 1994 and remaining unchanged until 2002."
3️⃣ "Being the least widely used means of transport, the quantity of Pipeline delivered goods began at just 5 million tonnes, demonstrating a gradual upward trend, with the figure increasing fourfold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."
This sentence is too complex and clumsy. Why don't we split it?
Fix: "Being the lowest throughout the period, the quantity of Pipeline transported goods began at just 5 million tonnes. The figure demonstrated a gradual upward trend, increasing four-fold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."
4️⃣ "The most used way of transportation was the road, starting at about 70 million tonnes. After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, it slightly dipped to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."
Bad referencing is by far the most common mistake. Here "it" refers to "way of transportation" - but a way cannot dip. A figure can.
Fix: "After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, this figure dipped slightly to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."
5️⃣ "The amount of goods transported by road was the largest throughout the period, starting at 70 million tonnes. After decreasing slightly to just 67 million tonnes, [1] it started increasing gradually. Having dropped by just three tonnes in 1994, [2] it was followed by a significant increase between 1994 and 1998."
This is one more example of bad referencing. But it's more subtle. The first "it" is correct: it refers to "amount" and amount can increase. But the second "it" also seems to refer to "amount," but the we get "the amount was followed by a significant increase," which is not correct.
Fix: "... it started increasing gradually. This was followed by a drop of just three tonnes in 1994 and a subsequent increase until 1998."
All of the above are good mistakes because we can learn from them and become better writers. 💜
❤15🔥8👻3👏1
📝 A glimpse of my writing class: a high-level structure - effortlessly 📝
I don't teach grammar as such in my writing classes, but there is one thing I often do to help my students introduce more complex structures into their writing. I want to show you a glimpse of what we did today in my C2 Proficiency writing class.
Whenever we are reading something, be it an article or my essay, I am always on the lookout for structures and patterns. Here is what we were reading today: "If language is like a game of charades, then that has real-life implications. Words, phrases and sentences are only the tip of the communication iceberg. They give clues to meaning, but below the surface lies a whole range of other things that are necessary for us to interpret what is said."
So what do I see in this fairly simple piece of writing? It's "but below the surface lies a whole range of other things" - inverted word order (without any inversion!). The verb "lies" goes before the subject "range." This is a low-frequency structure that will definitely give my students' writing some "substance."
I don't bother going into long-winded theoretical explanations here. Instead, I give my students a sentence frame and ask to finish it: "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of ..."
And look at the results I got today. Are they a thing of pure beauty? 💜
1️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of cohesive devices that have to be used appropriately."
2️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of devices that are yet to be studied."
3️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of subskills that have to be mastered."
This is one sentence frame I gave my students. I typically give two or three. Here is the second one: "... but below the surface lies a whole range of problems that ... ." Feel free to write a sentence in the comments. 📝
At the end of the class, I gave my students a challenge: Use "but below the surface lies a whole range of" in your next essay.
And this is how we add a high-level structure into our writing effortlessly. No long-winded explanations required. 💜
I don't teach grammar as such in my writing classes, but there is one thing I often do to help my students introduce more complex structures into their writing. I want to show you a glimpse of what we did today in my C2 Proficiency writing class.
Whenever we are reading something, be it an article or my essay, I am always on the lookout for structures and patterns. Here is what we were reading today: "If language is like a game of charades, then that has real-life implications. Words, phrases and sentences are only the tip of the communication iceberg. They give clues to meaning, but below the surface lies a whole range of other things that are necessary for us to interpret what is said."
So what do I see in this fairly simple piece of writing? It's "but below the surface lies a whole range of other things" - inverted word order (without any inversion!). The verb "lies" goes before the subject "range." This is a low-frequency structure that will definitely give my students' writing some "substance."
I don't bother going into long-winded theoretical explanations here. Instead, I give my students a sentence frame and ask to finish it: "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of ..."
And look at the results I got today. Are they a thing of pure beauty? 💜
1️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of cohesive devices that have to be used appropriately."
2️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of devices that are yet to be studied."
3️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of subskills that have to be mastered."
This is one sentence frame I gave my students. I typically give two or three. Here is the second one: "... but below the surface lies a whole range of problems that ... ." Feel free to write a sentence in the comments. 📝
At the end of the class, I gave my students a challenge: Use "but below the surface lies a whole range of" in your next essay.
And this is how we add a high-level structure into our writing effortlessly. No long-winded explanations required. 💜
❤19🔥3👏2
🤖 How to avoid repeating the word "people" in writing 🤖
I'll say right off the bat - it's not by using "one." The word "people" doesn't really have synonyms - well, good ones, at least. "Humans" or "human beings" are people, of course, but these words have very specific meanings. In essays, you often need the general meaning of "people."
I said in my previous post that I am always on the lookout. Join me. Take a look at this short piece from my Proficiency class and find different ways to avoid repeating "people."
📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in others, even when they’ve just met."
📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from [1] a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering [2] those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in [3] others, even when they’ve just met."
1️⃣ Instead of saying just people, use a specific category of people: students, children, entrepreneurs etc.
2️⃣ Say "those who (perform a certain action)."
3️⃣ "Others" means "other people," but the word "people" is omitted. Some similar examples: some, many (some claim that, this fact is ignored by many).
4️⃣ Of course, there is always "they," but that's just too obvious.
❗️We see "you" in this piece, but don't use it in academic articles.
And, of course, I couldn't help inviting my students to practice one of the ways above by using this sentence frame: "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … ." And here is what they came up with:
1. Good news: writing is a beast that can be tamed, and those who write regularly are living proof of that.
2. Teachers are on a constant lookout for new phrases, but those who write regularly have an advantage as they display the gems they previously found.
3. It takes discipline to integrate writing into your daily routine; however, those who write regularly eventually reap all the benefits of their diligent exercising.
4. Most people underestimate the benefits of writing as a skill, but those who write regularly, subconsciously enhance their speaking skills as well.
Pure beauty. Feel free to write your example for "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … " in the comments. 📝
I'll say right off the bat - it's not by using "one." The word "people" doesn't really have synonyms - well, good ones, at least. "Humans" or "human beings" are people, of course, but these words have very specific meanings. In essays, you often need the general meaning of "people."
I said in my previous post that I am always on the lookout. Join me. Take a look at this short piece from my Proficiency class and find different ways to avoid repeating "people."
📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in others, even when they’ve just met."
📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from [1] a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering [2] those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in [3] others, even when they’ve just met."
1️⃣ Instead of saying just people, use a specific category of people: students, children, entrepreneurs etc.
2️⃣ Say "those who (perform a certain action)."
3️⃣ "Others" means "other people," but the word "people" is omitted. Some similar examples: some, many (some claim that, this fact is ignored by many).
4️⃣ Of course, there is always "they," but that's just too obvious.
❗️We see "you" in this piece, but don't use it in academic articles.
And, of course, I couldn't help inviting my students to practice one of the ways above by using this sentence frame: "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … ." And here is what they came up with:
1. Good news: writing is a beast that can be tamed, and those who write regularly are living proof of that.
2. Teachers are on a constant lookout for new phrases, but those who write regularly have an advantage as they display the gems they previously found.
3. It takes discipline to integrate writing into your daily routine; however, those who write regularly eventually reap all the benefits of their diligent exercising.
4. Most people underestimate the benefits of writing as a skill, but those who write regularly, subconsciously enhance their speaking skills as well.
Pure beauty. Feel free to write your example for "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … " in the comments. 📝
❤25👏3🔥2
📈 The pesky "it" in IELTS writing task 1 📉
The thing about "it" is it has to refer to a noun. For example: "I checked an essay. It (= essay) was good." Using this tiny little word seems to be simple, yet it's a source of many mistakes. Here are some examples (and fixes).
1️⃣ "In Sweden the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
We have no noun for "it" in the second sentence.
Fix 1: "In Sweden, the amount of emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
Fix 2: "In Sweden, the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, the amount dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
2️⃣ "People ate as much as 210 grams of beef per week at the beginning of the period. After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, it rose to nearly 240 grams. It was followed by a sharp decline to about 100 grams per person per week in 2004."
We have two "it" here.
[1] Again, there is no noun for this "it."
Fix 1: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the amount of consumed beef rose to nearly 240 grams."
Fix 2: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the consumption rose to nearly 240 grams."
[2] Same problem - no noun. But the root of the problem might be different. The writer must have confused "it" and "this." If we want to refer to the whole clause, "it rose to nearly 240 grams," we need "this."
Fix 1: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. This was followed by a sharp decline..."
Fix 2: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. The rise was followed by a sharp decline..."
To sum up, make sure your "it" refers to a specific noun in the previous sentence.
The thing about "it" is it has to refer to a noun. For example: "I checked an essay. It (= essay) was good." Using this tiny little word seems to be simple, yet it's a source of many mistakes. Here are some examples (and fixes).
1️⃣ "In Sweden the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
We have no noun for "it" in the second sentence.
Fix 1: "In Sweden, the amount of emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
Fix 2: "In Sweden, the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, the amount dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
2️⃣ "People ate as much as 210 grams of beef per week at the beginning of the period. After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, it rose to nearly 240 grams. It was followed by a sharp decline to about 100 grams per person per week in 2004."
We have two "it" here.
[1] Again, there is no noun for this "it."
Fix 1: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the amount of consumed beef rose to nearly 240 grams."
Fix 2: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the consumption rose to nearly 240 grams."
[2] Same problem - no noun. But the root of the problem might be different. The writer must have confused "it" and "this." If we want to refer to the whole clause, "it rose to nearly 240 grams," we need "this."
Fix 1: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. This was followed by a sharp decline..."
Fix 2: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. The rise was followed by a sharp decline..."
To sum up, make sure your "it" refers to a specific noun in the previous sentence.
❤15👏8😈2
I have four people waiting for an IELTS writing group, but they are all different levels. 😬
I start groups with as few as two people. Will you be the second person for one of the groups below?
- 6-6.5 (around 4 months)
- 6.5-7 (around 6 months)
- 7-7.5 (around 9-10 months)
- 7.5-8 (around 9-10 months)
You are also welcome to join our old groups. Find out more https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
💌 And message me @iraluts 💌
I start groups with as few as two people. Will you be the second person for one of the groups below?
- 6-6.5 (around 4 months)
- 6.5-7 (around 6 months)
- 7-7.5 (around 9-10 months)
- 7.5-8 (around 9-10 months)
You are also welcome to join our old groups. Find out more https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery
💌 And message me @iraluts 💌
❤12🔥2
📈 IELTS Writing Task 1: what things can increase? 📉
Can chicken increase? Obviously, not. Yet, this is a mistake I see often. Bear with me.
IELTS charts can have different nouns in them: meat, shops, energy production, people of different ages, you name it.
Some of these things can increase, while others cannot. Meat cannot increase, but meat consumption or the amount of meat that is consumed can. Fuel can't increase, but fuel production or the amount of fuel that is produced can. People aged 15-65 can't increase, but population or the number of people can. See the logic?
But the mistake is usually more subtle than this. More often than not, it looks like this: "Chicken was the most popular type of meat throughout the period. Starting at 100 grams, it increased dramatically to reach 250 by the end of the period."
See? The sentence doesn't directly say, "chicken increased." But if we track what "it" refers to, we get "chicken increased."
For a higher score, you need to keep in mind a longer span of text than just one sentence. Do that. And make you write about things that can actually increase. 📈
Can chicken increase? Obviously, not. Yet, this is a mistake I see often. Bear with me.
IELTS charts can have different nouns in them: meat, shops, energy production, people of different ages, you name it.
Some of these things can increase, while others cannot. Meat cannot increase, but meat consumption or the amount of meat that is consumed can. Fuel can't increase, but fuel production or the amount of fuel that is produced can. People aged 15-65 can't increase, but population or the number of people can. See the logic?
But the mistake is usually more subtle than this. More often than not, it looks like this: "Chicken was the most popular type of meat throughout the period. Starting at 100 grams, it increased dramatically to reach 250 by the end of the period."
See? The sentence doesn't directly say, "chicken increased." But if we track what "it" refers to, we get "chicken increased."
For a higher score, you need to keep in mind a longer span of text than just one sentence. Do that. And make you write about things that can actually increase. 📈
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