Tried to be funny at the gym by mustering the courage to say “it smells like gorilla pussy in here.” Accidentally locked eyes with a black woman right after saying it. Literally ran out and went home. Burnt Philly cheesesteak egg rolls. — SheZowRaisedByWolves
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From the kitchencels community on Reddit: Tried to be funny at the gym by mustering the courage to say “it smells like gorilla…
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UPDATE: managed to get her pregnant, she gave birth to my child yesterday, she's just as cute as her, takoyaki as celebration meal — PienSensei
My ass is too fat and my hips are too feminine for a moid. At high school they were spamming me with the 🍑 emoji. Elixir of life (coffee with whisky). Keeps the rope away for up to 3 hours. — Beneficial_Rich_9414
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Just proposed to my longtime female friend of 6 years. Instantly rejected. Potato omelette and 9 chicken tendies — Background_Ebb7238
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My friend arranged a two man from Tinder so he drove an hour to pick them up and bring them to my house. They drank my alcohol and once my friend went up with one of them the other girl refused to do anything with me so I had to drive her an hour back while my friend was having sex. — fakecelgooner
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am I fakecell? all my life I thought I was repulsive to foids, but for some reason now they don't mind interacting with me and even go out of their way to speak to me, I am slowly realizing they may be human, that thought terrifies me, I don't wanna lose my truecell status — petryanleadleg
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I paid to get a camgirl's phone number and jerked off to her profile pic cause I dont have the balls to ask her to get naked. Also, my mother (only person I ever loved) died and I have nobody. Worst fries I ever eaten (made by me) — lohre2000s
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Im only 29 and im going to die from a heart attack and smoking, chickpeas and ground turkey — porchwater
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Jerked off to a femcels toe. Spaghetti carbonara and a pill because I'm sick in the head and should be put down. — beandecimator
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Why are you people volcels? None of you ever tried and you're all fakecels. Took my shirt off to eat banana. I am truecel. — Skinscraper
Got stood up on a breakfast edate. They were probably just a dude anyways. Strawberry cream cheese french toast — Duck-Environmental
Jerked off 3 times in the spam of 7 hours today. In other news today I ate a Dr peppy , samnwich and ice cream!!! :D — slanilba
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From the kitchencels community on Reddit: Jerked off 3 times in the spam of 7 hours today. In other news today I ate a Dr peppy…
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I SAVE MY CUM I SAVE ALL OF MY CUM AND I SAVE SMALL AMOUNT OF MY PISS. NOBODY CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO! I CUM IN JAR AND USE IT IN FOOD!!!! MY ASSHOLE IS A REVOLVING DOOR OF INTERESTING AND BRAVE MEN!! — HeeHawHorseHands
Tried being gay. Potential boyfriend just blocked me because I am too “negative, edgy and blackpilled”. Mezcal Negroni. — Remote_Lynx_7003
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Was about to lose my v card, she saw my pointy cone-tits from my 7 month experiment with Estrogen (not actually trans just hate the loneliness and thought it would be better as a woman), refused to let me go down on her even though she's bi. Mushy rice with apple and mushroom — ttthhhggg
shaved my asshole expecting to get pegged tonight; she ghosted me. poverty carbonara — IUseThis4Porn2464
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This sub is completely overtaken by fakecels and it pisses me off. None of you will ever understand what it's like to be almost 30 with a dead end job having missed out on love in your teens/20s and be truly hopeless. Japanese kushiyaki — pokelord13
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