This too shall pass.... .

This too shall pass.... .

This too shall pass.... .

This too shall pass.... .

This too shall pass.... .

Pass.... .

I can't do this

Even if this, too shall pass
I remain behind
For moving on is far too heavy on my heart

So, what should I do?

Should I fight?
Kill myself?
Disappear from life?
Or in the worst case accept it?

IDK

I honestly don’t know what I should do to calm my heart
I don’t know what to do so my soul doesn’t suffer

I’ve both caused harm and been harmed
What was done to me doesn’t matter
What breaks me is what I did to someone else

English is the only language where my real feelings can breathe
I’m lost
I don’t know what I’m doing
I want to know
I want to understand
I don’t want to be who I used to be
I want to change
I want to be better
I want to stop trusting carelessly
I want to stop breaking trust
I want to stop judging
But I don’t know how to become all of that

I’m exhausted
I need to be truly heard and truly understood—
not the illusion of it
I really need someone to listen
This world nauseates me
My own life nauseates me

Living past 18 feels unbearably heavy
I feel like a 100-year-old man who’s lost everything and quietly longs for death
I wish I hadn’t been born into this time
I wish I had never come

My spirit and my mind are destroyed
I truly can’t endure anymore
I hoped that someone at least my family would stand by me during these hard times in my life
But
always
always, always
I’m alone

Many times, because of my mental and emotional struggles, I found the courage to call 112 so someone could save me
But even then, no one did anything

No one has ever understood me
It’s like I’m trash, thrown into a corner,
and everyone who passes by kicks me

Putting all of that aside
I’m looking for something
or maybe it’s better to say, someone
A friend who truly understands me,
and lets me understand them too
That part being allowed to understand them matters a lot
One sided connections are honestly ridiculous......

But it’s too late now
I’ve reached the very end of what I can endure
I’ve come to the end of the road
All I see in front of me is a tall wall
I don’t see a way out