I've been posting this for a while, but I feel everyone can use this.

I'll sing you the song of my people

And then I eat them

You can make any masturbation slang you want by making some varation of '[verb] the [noun]'

- Rubbing the shrub
- Hitting the clit
- Polishing the pearl
- Buttering the muffin
- Rubbing the beaver
- Flooding the basement
- Smashing the fish
- Checking the pulse
- Taming the weasel
- Slipping on the slide
- Squirting the curtain
- Fucking the system
- Stepping on the mud
- Cleaning the cobwebs
- Marching in Washington
- Working from home
- Folding the sheets
- Milking the cookie
- Pissing on the princess
- Fighting in the cavern
- Rowing the boat
- Etc. etc.

Really, take your pick or make your own, anything goes.