one of the reasons why i constantly doubt and deny my neurodivergence is that when i look at the stuff written for neurotypicals, like, “ways to increase productivity” or “tips to organize your life”, im able to use them.
like, i love organizing stuff, i used to do super well in school because i’d make up my own exam prep schedule. at some point of life, with proper external motivation, i could function like everyone else. and better!
of course, i also had awful hygiene and social habits and couldn’t handle being around people for long because i was always so goddamn tired
i have met people whose adhd would actually disrupt their lives with bad memory or not being able to keep up with the pace of life, being so out of sync with the expectations of society. and i don’t think that my possible neurodivergence is that bad to be considered true. i successfully graduated from uni, i have a stable job and a close network of friends and loved ones. i have skills that either mask me being “atypical” or are legit, idk at this point: i can fix my sleep schedule properly by setting a routine (if i wanted to), i can control my caffeine intake, i love making phone calls and talking to people, etc etc… if i claim that i have autism or adhd, it’ll feel like i’m doing it for attention, because it’s a real disability and for some reason it’s very hard to admit that i might be disabled.
i doubt and deny it because i have been forced to adapt to this world and forced to develop the skills on my own. i know there’s a shit ton of self-stigmatization, but i’m scared that if I actually get diagnosed, i’ll fall into a cycle of skill regression and will face another existential crisis.
#noadhd cool stuff
like, i love organizing stuff, i used to do super well in school because i’d make up my own exam prep schedule. at some point of life, with proper external motivation, i could function like everyone else. and better!
i have met people whose adhd would actually disrupt their lives with bad memory or not being able to keep up with the pace of life, being so out of sync with the expectations of society. and i don’t think that my possible neurodivergence is that bad to be considered true. i successfully graduated from uni, i have a stable job and a close network of friends and loved ones. i have skills that either mask me being “atypical” or are legit, idk at this point: i can fix my sleep schedule properly by setting a routine (if i wanted to), i can control my caffeine intake, i love making phone calls and talking to people, etc etc… if i claim that i have autism or adhd, it’ll feel like i’m doing it for attention, because it’s a real disability and for some reason it’s very hard to admit that i might be disabled.
i doubt and deny it because i have been forced to adapt to this world and forced to develop the skills on my own. i know there’s a shit ton of self-stigmatization, but i’m scared that if I actually get diagnosed, i’ll fall into a cycle of skill regression and will face another existential crisis.
#noadhd cool stuff
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It’s Not an AuDHD Thing
one of the reasons why i constantly doubt and deny my neurodivergence is that when i look at the stuff written for neurotypicals, like, “ways to increase productivity” or “tips to organize your life”, im able to use them. like, i love organizing stuff, i…
meanwhile during my existential mentally interesting processes, i rediscovered a cool kpop group, currently listening through their discography :)))
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