Me irl now

If you want to become my friend - it's like being friend with Paris Hilton - you MUST listen to my horror podcast so I can CRY WITH YOU like a GIRLBOSS

People kissing
Me in bed
Too sick to gay

Jim Benton

Me: ha ha ha cis men are weak
Me when sick: I am human waste I hate everything why can't I just die here like a saint

People: my dating life sucks, sex is terrible

Me: ...have you tried NOT being straight?