I wanted to go to the gym tomorrow, but my whole family wanted to do something together.
I’d hate to miss it, so I’m gonna skip the gym. Trying not to panic about it, quite failing rn

I have several cousins, older and younger, and INDEED

The fun part about isolating yourself from yr friends when you’re not okay is that it absolutely works and can enjoy being miserable alone

TW: ED, body dismorphia, bad thoughts

awful things that a bad relationship with your body does to your brain:
> being happy when you're sick and can't eat
> looking among every person in a crow looking for people of a similar build as yours
> gifting you awesome thoughts such as don't wanting to go to certain places/countries bc of sistemic fatphobia there
> thinking that your opinion on certain topic doesn't matter since you're fat
> cringing every time you stand up, sit down, lie down, lie on your side, touch a table
> wishing you had a better ed than you have, one that at least would make you thin
i wish i was better than this, and i know very well how harmful and unrespectful and awful these things are, but every thing i say or do to counter them is like pouring a thimble of water in hell