Do you really have to be inattentive to have Inattentive ADHD?

I'm under the impression that inattentive ADHD means you literally can’t hold a conversation. Like you’re talking to someone and the second a butterfly flies by, you’re gone.

A couple years ago I was diagnosed with GAD and put on antidepressants. Recently my anxiety got really bad again, so I saw another doctor, and they immediately said my anxiety is coming from ADHD (inattentive type).

The thing is, I can pay attention. I’m a good listener and I actually focus really hard when someone’s talking to me. I love reading books, I’m into details, and I’m the kind of person who shows up early to important meetings.

What I don’t have is a good memory. I constantly forget things I’ve learned for work. I’ll review something and go, “Ohhh okay, that makes sense,” and then realize I’ve learned this before but just forgot it. If I don’t write something down immediately, it might as well never have happened. But somehow I can remember random useless fun facts no problem.

I also lose things a lot, procrastinate badly, and have some time blindness. Deadlines don’t feel real until they’re suddenly tomorrow. But I can still sit through a lecture for hours without getting distracted.

I only check some of the boxes for inattentive adhd, so part of me feels like an imposter or like I’m just making excuses for my weaknesses. Anyone else like this?

Isn’t inattentive supposed to mean you zone out a lot? Like head-in-the-clouds, kinda spacey?


https://redd.it/1px3y2a
@r_adhd

Just realized that with ADHD everything interesting feels urgent

Late diagnosed, early 60s

Just had this insight about . My therapist who knows something about ADHD on our first session when I brought up that I thought I might have it, in addition to saying that she wasn't surprised, gave me a key insight into the condition which is that the ADHD brain prioritizes with interesting over what's important.

I realized yesterday phenomenology of this is that what's interesting appears urgent to me, whether it actually is or not objectively.

I'm starting to implement GTD getting things done in order to get a handle on what's actually important and keep things in perspective in relation to my life as a whole and thereby be able to and put my energy and focus into the things that actually matter to me long-term.

https://redd.it/1px4v31
@r_adhd

How come some people with ADHD are able to consistently get top grades throughout school in all subjects whereas others end up with low grades due to their adhd struggles.

How come some people with ADHD (unmedicated) are able to consistently get top grades throughout school in all subjects whereas others (like me 🥲) end up with low grades due to their ADHD struggles.
From my experience I struggled throughout school to get good grades in anything i wasn’t interested in as I seriously struggled to focus in class or in homework/revision but certain subjects (mainly maths) I managed to do okay in because I loved it so was able to hyperfixate/hyperfocus on it.
How come other people with ADHD are able to get consistently high grades even in subjects they aren’t interested in? It really baffles me and I’m quite jealous.
Is it to do with some people having less severe ADHD? Is there varying levels?

Edit: people who got good grades throughout school, any tips would be appreciated 🙏🏻😭

https://redd.it/1px9e52
@r_adhd

Why do my parents deny me meds

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 12, I’m currently 17 and I’ve always had problems concentrating in school and finishing stuff and I recently learned about adhd medication and when I mentioned it to my parents my father said that they are a scam by the pharmacy industry and began giving me “alternatives” (the alternative I’m talking about is Lithium and be gives me like 3-4 pills a day since mid November because he read it’s good for adhd apparently even tho I literally feel like I’ve gotten worse since the lithium) and my mom (who’s a pharmacist btw) says that I could get addicted to them and become a “drug junkie” and that I should try focusing on my own.

And I’m just wondering why?
How do I convince them


https://redd.it/1px9c4r
@r_adhd

i can't say i have adhd

Getting diagnosed with ADHD made me realize how hard it is to talk about it without feeling like I’m handing people my weakest point. Every time I open up, the reactions are the same.
“so you can’t focus?”
“everyone has ADHD nowadays.”
“you guys can’t do anything.”

People assume I’m claiming it or turning it into a personality, when in reality I struggle to mask and pretend I don’t have it. My family doesn’t really believe in these stuff, and my friends think it’s something I picked it up from social media .

What’s been the hardest for me is how ADHD is treated like a quirky or cute trait, as if doesn't put some of our lives in danger
i don't know i just wanted to say that

https://redd.it/1pxcb64
@r_adhd

Stimulant medications and falling asleep

Can anyone else take their medication and sleep like a freaking rock at peak half-life? I take an extended release stimulant. I almost didn't take it today because I forgot until about 2:30pm. Took it anyway and by 6pm I was napping in the car (shout-out to my husband by the way who took us through the carwash, that was a disorienting way to wake up lol). I got 7-8 hours of sleep last night.

It's the same with coffee. I've seen a lot of people on here say the older they get, they have to stop drinking coffee earlier in the day so it doesn't keep them up at night. But I'm noticing that the older I get, the more I want to nap as soon as I finish a cup. ????

https://redd.it/1pxdi0h
@r_adhd

How do you manage to hold a job?

Chronic job hopper, with a history of starting out great at a job, but burning out after a few months. I can’t keep a job for longer than one year, no matter how hard I try.

Executive dysfunction and rejection sensitivity are my worst issues. I feel overwhelmed with tasks and I get distraught with negative feedbacks and pressure from bosses. Noisy offices also overwhelm me and having to sit down for 8 hours straight feels like a torture. I can manage for a couple of months, but eventually I spiral and get drowned in stress.

Around 3-6 months I start to think about quitting, at 1 year I’m gone. Not to mention the times I impulsively quit much earlier than that. I’m ruining my career.

I tried strattera twice, which had absolutely no effect. I go to therapy, meditate, exercise, sleep well. Nothing has helped.

Those of you who were able to overcome being a job hopper and finally hold down a job, what have you done? And which medicine had the biggest effect?

https://redd.it/1pxexz3
@r_adhd

I feel AWFUL

TLDR: I’m very bad at replying to messages. I don’t reply. And then I feel like absolute rubbish for not replying and possibly hurting someone’s feelings. Can I change this about myself or should I just throw my phone away???

Gone down the rabbit hole of checking all my unread WhatsApp messages. I have unread WhatsApp messages from years ago where I just blank people mid-conversation!!

Only recently realised this is common for adhd’ers.

I feel so so so awful cos I’ve seen messages from people I actually really liked and cared about, BUT I DIDNT REPLY TO THEM. WHY DIDNT I REPLY TO THEM?! I already pretty much know why. This is the story of my life 😭

I hate this so so much. Why are we like this??? I swear I don’t do it on purpose and I repeat, I hate it! But I have control over replying to someone’s message so - in the vicious thought cycle I still am 🥲

https://redd.it/1pxeoxs
@r_adhd

Medicated or unmedicated path choice

I can observe there are 3 types of ADHD people:

1. Those who get medicated or seek a way to get proper medicine and find it essential for their well-being and existence.
2. Those who don't seek any medicine or don't care about medicine.
3. Those who were prescribed medication, tried it or several and then they either decided to stop because nothing worked or decided to organize their life which allows them to live unmedicated.

I am wondering how do you make the choices of either being on medication or live your life unmedicated, what factors, thoughts, ideas, life choices, internal feelings drive you towards medicated or unmedicated path?

https://redd.it/1pxct9o
@r_adhd

No matter how much I try to explain, it's ignored

My mom constantly, and I mean constantly calls me lazy. Non-stop. I will try to hang out with her but she'll find some way to bring it up it seems. I've tried to explain how hard it is for me to complete tasks that are easy for her, and why I don't understand things the same way she does.


Instead she just calls it an excuse and "✨we all have ADHD✨" which is just...not true? But she uses that claim to say that I'm just "only doing what I want to do" and I'm "lazy." When I bring up ADHD, she says "yes, you have ADHD. But you're also lazy."


I've been called lazy my whole life. And it's not like I'm happily avoiding tasks or misunderstanding instructions on purpose. I just don't get it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I do really well in school (for the most part) and I feel like if I was truly lazy the way she says I was I would be failing all my classes.

I'm just so frustrated. I wish she understood. I wish she had more patience for me. But she sees me locked in over a hyperfixation (such as building a plane model) and goes: "see?! You're just lazy because you did the dishes slightly wrong yesterday!"

I'm fed up!!

https://redd.it/1pxi7ex
@r_adhd

I just bought some cats, what an amazing decision

I have a hard time getting into routine, due to my ADHD. I take medication and feel way better but still, routine is hard.

My cats force me to live a routine live, since they need that. My procrastination is overwhelmed by my desire to give them the best life I can get them. Since I have had them, they also cure my anxiety of not having anyone or anything around me.

Cats are also perfect, because I don’t have to focus on them 24/7, unlike dogs. It just fits my ADHD perfectly.

Anyone else had any similar experiences?

https://redd.it/1pxmykr
@r_adhd

Hoe do you control the constant urge to eat (sweets)

Whenever I sit down to work I feel this strong desire to get up and get something to eat. Mostly sweets, but whatever really. And while I eat I can focus quite well on my tasks, but then sometimes I eat so much, that I actually get sick from it.
It also doesn't matter if I have just eaten or already had some chocolate, I just constantly want to eat.

Does this happen to you too? How do you manage this?

https://redd.it/1pxok0r
@r_adhd

How did you stop doom-scrolling?

Heyy, I have been diagnosed for less than a year and I’m medicated, but I still really struggling with procrastination and task management.

Right now I’m feeling really burnt out and it’s hard to get out of bed in the mornings. I don’t want to face the day so I immediately get on my phone and start doomscrolling. I have so many things to do and I keep getting trapped in this loop. The longer I stay in bed the harder it is to get out.

Does anyone have any advice on this? I would really appreciate it.

https://redd.it/1pxqroy
@r_adhd

I’m losing friends and family


I’ve been removed from a family WhatsApp group, and I immediately understood that it was my fault.

Earlier in the week, a very beautiful photo had been shared of my father with my children wishing me merry Christmas, but I didn’t see it at the time. I also failed to wish Merry Christmas to my father’s side of the family and specifically my ant who put together the picture/Christmas card and sent it to me.

My father passed away a year ago and they created this group to keep us all in contact with each other.

I love them all but struggle to show it, I’ve been off work because of the holiday office closure and somehow slipped into a lethargic state spending too much time scrolling on my phone or watching TV, losing track of time, and being less present than usual.

I apologized of course but she’s hurt and mad at me for sure. And now I feel like shit as per usual.

I’m not looking for sympathy, I just wanted to share this here, as testimonials from others helped me knowing I’m not the only one.

https://redd.it/1pxqlsj
@r_adhd

Why (I think) catching up is absolutely the hardest thing to do with ADHD

Let's take an example of washing the dishes. Worst case scenario, how many dishes are there gonna be? It doesn't matter how many dishes there are - you're almost guaranteed to be able to complete them in one session after taking the stimulants. Tomorrow's dishes are tomorrow's concern.

Now let's take the example of prepping for a computer science job interview. If you're at a stage where you've "fallen behind", how does medication help you to "catch up"? It's pretty much guaranteed that in one session after taking the stimulants, you'll barely scratch the surface. It's gonna take you hundreds or even thousands of such sessions to actually "catch up". You already know that one session is worth almost nothing, so even with stimulants, it becomes too difficult to stay motivated do the task.

AND that's not even considering the analysis paralysis. Which topic do I study first? That makes it 100x more difficult.

It makes watching movies and shows and playing games difficult as well. I know there are 50+ more episodes of Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad after starting out, so even if I'm enjoying them, the burden of having to watch 50+ more episodes is enough for me to stop.

I can do just fine in single subject, single topic exams. But these competitive exams? Interviews? Nope. I'm out.

Going tangent - sleep cycle is also too difficult to manage. I know my natural sleep-wake cycle is more than 24hrs. What makes it even more difficult is that once it's drifted off, I have to put efforts to have LESS THAN 24hr cycles, not exact 24hrs, to put it back on track. That is difficult enough for even someone with normal sleep-wake cycle.

I feel so depressed every time I realize I'm not making any progress. Yet I'm not doing anything about it.

https://redd.it/1pxrmcx
@r_adhd

Any ADHD people struggled or struggling with bedwetting

I struggled with bedwetting as a child and didn’t stop until I was 10 years old. My parents didn’t know why and they just blamed me for being a lazy person and beat me every time it happened (about 3 times a week).

I’ve discovered I have ADHD and wonder if my ADHD explains why I had poor control of my bladder while asleep as a child.

Did anyone with ADHD or children with ADHD experience this? What’s your experience? Did medication help?



https://redd.it/1pxt5n0
@r_adhd

What’s the difference between being lazy and having ADHD?

I have heard a lot of people say they were labeled as lazy or underachievers, when in reality it was their ADHD holding them back. I still have a hard time understanding what the actual difference is between ADHD and laziness, even though I know there is a difference. I Would love to hear people’s thoughts.

https://redd.it/1pxyu6k
@r_adhd

Shamed on a family Christmas trip

On a family Christmas trip (on my bother & wife's dime) my mom and I broke their unspoken 'rule' by sleeping in. They have 2 kids that wake up early and need to have a structured routine. (Undiagnosed ADHD for the boys, my brother and me at the time.) My ex-sister-in-law was just bossy, I think.

They went to breakfast. By the time we got to the dining room for breakfast they were already on the next activity.

They texted me multiple times, "Where are you?" My phone was in my purse, not on my body. Also another 'sin', apparently.

They're younger than me and much more attached to their phones, literally.

The fallout was sis-in-law said, "You hurt my child!" By missing breakfast!? Seriously?

The trip was not our idea and a complete surprise. Being told "This trip is not cheap" didn't help the situation much either.

I had a meltdown and was shamed for my 'attitude'. At that point I just wanted to go home. However, we were at a remote fancy resort, in their province, and they drove us there, so we were essentially trapped.

Eventually, I recovered, apologized to my nephew - which felt unnecessary (he didn't appear to be upset.)

Once mom and I adhered to their program all was well in their world.

After the trip a friend pointed out they didn't actually call me!

https://redd.it/1py1515
@r_adhd

I don’t struggle with social skills, but I never initiate relationships why?

I'm 21 and I've had the same pattern for as long as I can remember. The issue isn't social skills themselves, but initiating and moving relationships forward.
I don't have problems talking to people. I work at a hotel reception, so communication with strangers is a daily thing for me. I can start conversations, keep them going, and when I meet friends I already know, I usually have a good time. I wouldn't describe myself as socially anxious or closed off.
The problem starts when it comes to initiating. I have friends, but we usually meet only when they suggest it. I almost never initiate contact myself, even with people I know I could text or call. I tend to postpone meetings indefinitely or let them fade out completely.
I've never had a girlfriend. There were situations where I was texting with someone, there was mutual interest, even plans to meet but it always stopped before turning into anything serious. I keep waiting for “certainty”, the perfect moment, or 100% confidence in my feelings, which never really comes. As time passes, I do nothing and the connection dies out.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I'm still learning how to manage basic daily structure and habits. I’m actively trying to change my life and improve myself, because I don’t feel like I’m the person I want to be yet but this pattern of not initiating relationships has been there forever.
I don't know if this is related to our condition, but I wonder.


https://redd.it/1py1hj7
@r_adhd

How can I make myself do things?

I have so much free time right now, since the company that I work for is closed during the holidays. I have many things that I would like to do, like gaming, reading, starting a personal project of mine, selling some of the clothes that I don’t use anymore, tidy-up my room, etc, but each day I just end up watching YouTube all day. I start watching it while I’m having breakfast, as I always do, then I just say to myself that I’m gonna watch a few more videos, then a few more, and the day is gone without me noticing. A day that I will not get back, nor will I rember starting from litterally the day after. Heck, I even managed to skip the gym a few times even though I was so happy to have so much free time to do it now. Each day that it passes my frustration gets worse, since I know that even if I start today to do the things that I want to, I would have wasted half of the holidays anyway at this point. How do I break the cycle?

https://redd.it/1py5f6x
@r_adhd