Conflicting feelings about staying the night in my partner's guest room
Hi everyone, I'm new here, but not to poly life. I'm in a new situation though, and struggling with it, so I'm hoping for some input or perspective.
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Short background: I'm 38F, currently have one partner (been together 2 years) who has a NP. I have been poly practically my whole life, my partner and his NP are both in their first poly relationship (for 8 years already, which seems to work very well for them). Meta and I don't hang out a lot, but we get along very well as friends.
Emotionally, I feel pretty much equal, can always count on his support, he makes me feel important and secure. But since they have been living together for a long time, there is a practical hierarchy that I sometimes struggle with.
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To the actual question: the three of us spent Christmas at their house. We all gave each other gifts, cooked together, it was chill and lovely. We (partner and me & partner and meta) give each other little hugs and squeezes, but otherwise we keep the intimacy to a minimum when spending time all together.
At the end of both Christmas days, I spent the night at their house, but I stayed in their guest room. I've done this before, but I always end up feeling conflicted.
On one hand, I sleep better alone, I experience little jealousy in general, and I love feeling so welcome in their house, having coffee all together in the morning, etc.
On the other hand, sometimes it makes me feel lonely and on the outside. I lie there feeling like an intruder in their lives, and the realisation that I will never share my life with him in the same way, hurts me like crazy.
I don't even think we would make good NPs, but in moments like these, I find myself mourning the impossibility of it anyway. It's irrational, but it keeps happening.
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I wonder if anyone recognizes this, and any input on how you handle this (practically or emotionally) is very welcome. Thank you for reading :)
https://redd.it/1pxp3ve
@reddit_pride
Hi everyone, I'm new here, but not to poly life. I'm in a new situation though, and struggling with it, so I'm hoping for some input or perspective.
-----
Short background: I'm 38F, currently have one partner (been together 2 years) who has a NP. I have been poly practically my whole life, my partner and his NP are both in their first poly relationship (for 8 years already, which seems to work very well for them). Meta and I don't hang out a lot, but we get along very well as friends.
Emotionally, I feel pretty much equal, can always count on his support, he makes me feel important and secure. But since they have been living together for a long time, there is a practical hierarchy that I sometimes struggle with.
-----
To the actual question: the three of us spent Christmas at their house. We all gave each other gifts, cooked together, it was chill and lovely. We (partner and me & partner and meta) give each other little hugs and squeezes, but otherwise we keep the intimacy to a minimum when spending time all together.
At the end of both Christmas days, I spent the night at their house, but I stayed in their guest room. I've done this before, but I always end up feeling conflicted.
On one hand, I sleep better alone, I experience little jealousy in general, and I love feeling so welcome in their house, having coffee all together in the morning, etc.
On the other hand, sometimes it makes me feel lonely and on the outside. I lie there feeling like an intruder in their lives, and the realisation that I will never share my life with him in the same way, hurts me like crazy.
I don't even think we would make good NPs, but in moments like these, I find myself mourning the impossibility of it anyway. It's irrational, but it keeps happening.
-----
I wonder if anyone recognizes this, and any input on how you handle this (practically or emotionally) is very welcome. Thank you for reading :)
https://redd.it/1pxp3ve
@reddit_pride
Reddit
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“People are gonna die”: Elon Musk slams Zohran Mamdani for naming first openly gay FDNY commissioner
https://dailywiire.com/elon-musk-slams-zohran-mamdani-fdny/
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https://dailywiire.com/elon-musk-slams-zohran-mamdani-fdny/
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WTF Detective
“People are gonna die”: Elon Musk slams Zohran Mamdani for naming first openly gay FDNY commissioner - WTF Detective
Elon Musk has taken aim at New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani over his move to name Lillian Bonsignore as commissioner of the Fire Department of New York, cautioning that the decision could pose risks to public safety. Responding to a video announcing…
We could have an amazing world were negativity could not grow and foster, and children will have smile on their face.
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Hey, is there a kind of intimacy that you don’t think it’s sexual but most people do? If so, which one is it?
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How to tell metamour I dont want to be friends
My wife/nesting partner has two other partners, I get along with one of them (Ill call them partner A) alright, were not really close but we get along fine without any issues, and I think we're both fine with that, but her other partner (Ill call them partner B) wants to be a lot closer to me, and my wife wants me to be a lot closer with them, but I dont want to be friends with partner B at all, and dont really want to spend time with them at all. My wife understands, but is a bit upset and disapointed about it.
Partner B keeps pushing to be closer to me and Im not sure how to tell them that I dont want to be close, and for them to stop trying without hurting their feelings, I understand that no matter how I word it it will probably hurt their feelings but I want to avoid being more hurtful than I need to be. Partner B already knows that I dont like them, and that them trying to get closer to me makes me uncomfortable, but I havent explicitly told them that, or that I dont want to be closer to them.
My wifes relationship with Partner B is long distance for now so most communication is either through dms or through a discord server we're all in. I have partner B blocked and they know this so I'm not exactly subtle about not wanting to be close. (Also we're all lesbians)
https://redd.it/1py1vz6
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My wife/nesting partner has two other partners, I get along with one of them (Ill call them partner A) alright, were not really close but we get along fine without any issues, and I think we're both fine with that, but her other partner (Ill call them partner B) wants to be a lot closer to me, and my wife wants me to be a lot closer with them, but I dont want to be friends with partner B at all, and dont really want to spend time with them at all. My wife understands, but is a bit upset and disapointed about it.
Partner B keeps pushing to be closer to me and Im not sure how to tell them that I dont want to be close, and for them to stop trying without hurting their feelings, I understand that no matter how I word it it will probably hurt their feelings but I want to avoid being more hurtful than I need to be. Partner B already knows that I dont like them, and that them trying to get closer to me makes me uncomfortable, but I havent explicitly told them that, or that I dont want to be closer to them.
My wifes relationship with Partner B is long distance for now so most communication is either through dms or through a discord server we're all in. I have partner B blocked and they know this so I'm not exactly subtle about not wanting to be close. (Also we're all lesbians)
https://redd.it/1py1vz6
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Trans NSA employee sues Trump for ordering her coworkers to harass her
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/12/trans-nsa-employee-sues-for-ordering-her-coworkers-to-harass-her/
https://redd.it/1py1086
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https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/12/trans-nsa-employee-sues-for-ordering-her-coworkers-to-harass-her/
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LGBTQ Nation
Trans NSA employee sues Trump for ordering her coworkers to harass her
She says it's a violation of federal civil rights law.
I kinda hate when people say “gender isn’t real”
I understand that people mean well when they say this, but it’s also just… wrong. Gender IS real, and it’s a huge aspect of our lives. If gender wasn’t real, why would we be trans in the first place?? Wouldn’t we be content to just be crossdressers that still get referred to as our agab? Gender is absolutely real, and it’s the reason we feel dysphoria. Gender NORMS, on the other hand, ARE a societal construct. That’s why women can present masculinely and men can present femininely without it meaning that they’re actually a different gender.
Again, I know people mean well when they say this, but as a binary trans person, it just feels dismissive of the struggles I and most other trans people face BECAUSE of our gender. I WISH gender wasn’t real, then I could just live my life like everyone else without feeling dysphoria. But unfortunately, it is, and it is also the literal reason we’re transgender in the first place.
https://redd.it/1py4gzp
@reddit_pride
I understand that people mean well when they say this, but it’s also just… wrong. Gender IS real, and it’s a huge aspect of our lives. If gender wasn’t real, why would we be trans in the first place?? Wouldn’t we be content to just be crossdressers that still get referred to as our agab? Gender is absolutely real, and it’s the reason we feel dysphoria. Gender NORMS, on the other hand, ARE a societal construct. That’s why women can present masculinely and men can present femininely without it meaning that they’re actually a different gender.
Again, I know people mean well when they say this, but as a binary trans person, it just feels dismissive of the struggles I and most other trans people face BECAUSE of our gender. I WISH gender wasn’t real, then I could just live my life like everyone else without feeling dysphoria. But unfortunately, it is, and it is also the literal reason we’re transgender in the first place.
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I realized polyamory isn't for me
I (37f) have realized polyamory isn't for me. Husband and I opened in 2019 and he found a partner in 2022. It was great for awhile but it took a sharp turn into lies, mistrust and honestly hurt. I've held on thinking I can change my mindset and let things go as well as tried therapy. I have realized I can't let the hurtful things go. On my birthday in 2022 he said he would choose his partner over me and that still hurts. They've take breaks but have been back together again. Broken boundaries like mad and I just can't anymore. I think I have to say that I cannot mentally take polyamory anymore.
I've had partners on and off but that zest isn't even there for me anymore. Id rather put my energy into my husband. I'm all over the place but know I'm tired of hurting.
I HATE the idea of a veto but I am truly done with being poly. It hasnt been worth the pain.
https://redd.it/1py9b29
@reddit_pride
I (37f) have realized polyamory isn't for me. Husband and I opened in 2019 and he found a partner in 2022. It was great for awhile but it took a sharp turn into lies, mistrust and honestly hurt. I've held on thinking I can change my mindset and let things go as well as tried therapy. I have realized I can't let the hurtful things go. On my birthday in 2022 he said he would choose his partner over me and that still hurts. They've take breaks but have been back together again. Broken boundaries like mad and I just can't anymore. I think I have to say that I cannot mentally take polyamory anymore.
I've had partners on and off but that zest isn't even there for me anymore. Id rather put my energy into my husband. I'm all over the place but know I'm tired of hurting.
I HATE the idea of a veto but I am truly done with being poly. It hasnt been worth the pain.
https://redd.it/1py9b29
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Hair-removal as a transfem is so unbelievably annoying
i mean jesus. im spending an hour or more multiple times a week shaving my entire body just for the hair to come back in a day.
i tried to get wax strips; the things dont even fuckin work. they just left a bunch of wax on my body, aswell as itchy and red skin. im genuinely at a loss, my body hair is probably the BIGGEST source of dysphoria i have, and i cant even get rid of it properly.
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i mean jesus. im spending an hour or more multiple times a week shaving my entire body just for the hair to come back in a day.
i tried to get wax strips; the things dont even fuckin work. they just left a bunch of wax on my body, aswell as itchy and red skin. im genuinely at a loss, my body hair is probably the BIGGEST source of dysphoria i have, and i cant even get rid of it properly.
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Grieving NYE
i know this probably sounds small in the grand scheme of things, but it’s hitting me harder than i expected i guess.
nye is like the only holiday i genuinely have any interest in celebrating. it’s one of those nights for me that carries a lot of feeling and significance with it. reflection, closeness, marking the end of something and the beginning of something new. and im just… extremely sad that we won’t be together for it.
i keep thinking about all the tiny moments that won’t happen. no countdown together. no shared “we made it through another year.” no quiet after midnight where everything feels a little softer. it feels lonely.
i understand the reasons. im not angry, just grieving the version of the night i wanted or would’ve loved, one where we’re side by side, even if we’re doing nothing special. especially when being together already feels limited sometimes, this one just stings.
i know it’s just one silly night. i know there will be other moments. but im letting myself feel sad about this one.
thanks for letting me vent.
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@reddit_pride
i know this probably sounds small in the grand scheme of things, but it’s hitting me harder than i expected i guess.
nye is like the only holiday i genuinely have any interest in celebrating. it’s one of those nights for me that carries a lot of feeling and significance with it. reflection, closeness, marking the end of something and the beginning of something new. and im just… extremely sad that we won’t be together for it.
i keep thinking about all the tiny moments that won’t happen. no countdown together. no shared “we made it through another year.” no quiet after midnight where everything feels a little softer. it feels lonely.
i understand the reasons. im not angry, just grieving the version of the night i wanted or would’ve loved, one where we’re side by side, even if we’re doing nothing special. especially when being together already feels limited sometimes, this one just stings.
i know it’s just one silly night. i know there will be other moments. but im letting myself feel sad about this one.
thanks for letting me vent.
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