If it isn’t abundantly clear by now: I am madly, hopelessly in love with you. And I will be until the end. I mean, I realize that’s not very long now, but the sentiment still stands. But I think, that if there is indeed a place beyond this, and it is a place that is merciful and good, I will be able to hold onto you. Your dazzling grin and disapproving eyebrow quirk and the flushed, bitten-back smile when you’re trying hard not to laugh and your fluffy bed head and the annoying way you grind your teeth and all the pissed-off Spanish you mutter under your breath that I still don’t understand. I’d miss you still, of course. But the memories would suffice until you could join me, if you wanted to. Sure would be beautiful, then. I’ll miss you and I’m sorry and I love you.